Don't Send Me Flowers To Prove Your Love.

Let me state a fact that is well-known about me:

Flowers brighten my day.

I love all kinds of flowers, and nothing makes me smile than seeing a beautiful vase full of different colored flowers in my living room.

As much as I love flowers, I have a big problem.

Lovers seem to have a tradition where they send me them to prove that they love me.

I agree, flowers have been used to traditionally show love for decades. They are a huge symbol of romance, but flowers are also used to commemorate death, and they also die!

They are great to look at, and they do make a beautiful gift, but flowers do not symbolize how much you love me.

I love receiving flowers on occasions such as my birthday, Christmas, and Easter but why do people feel the need to prove they love someone by sending flowers?

Here is my story.....

I had a boyfriend who used to buy me flowers every time he was late for a date. He used to walk through my door with massive bunches, then he would kiss me and simply say, "Forgive me. I love you."

I accepted the flowers with grace, but the sheer fact that he was showering me in them every time he was late told me that something wasn't right. I let it go, thinking that it might be me who was overthinking everything then I realized he was love-bombing me.

He was showering me with flattery to cover up the fact that he was seeing someone else, and a month later he split with me, declaring that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his baby.

I truly loved that ex-boyfriend with all my heart, and I spent six months grieving my loss before I decided to date anyone again.

I bravely re-entered the tradition of dating because I was feeling lonely, and everyone seemed to have boyfriends while I was stuck at home doing nothing. I hadn't had a fun relationship for a very long time, and I wanted to be with someone who I could be my usual flirty self with, and enjoy dancing again.

My second date was a female. She loved dancing, and so did I. We danced at our favorite club every single week for about three months, then suddenly she started not wanting to go. It was Valentines-Day so we were set to go to the special dance which was set up just for lovers, but she was three hours late and we missed it.

She turned up with flowers, kissed me on the cheek, and said "I'm sorry."

I accepted the apology because it didn't seem in her character to cheat.

I was wrong; she cheated on me four times before I found out. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't gone out to our favorite club with friends on the night she said she was going on holiday for a week with her brother.

Another ex used to use flowers as an excuse for covering up his abuse.

He would abuse me physically, verbally insult me, then leave. Later he would come back and shower me with flowers as proof that he wouldn't do it again.

After many years of abusive and manipulative relationships, where flowers were always being used as a cover-up or as some form of flattery to make up for inexcusable behavior I started to understand that flowers were being used to manipulate the victim into staying.

It still happens today, especially in relationships; abusers continue to abuse and then use flowers as a manipulative tool to convince the victim that they are sorry.

They usually aren't.

If you allow them to do this, they will continue to manipulate.

I'm not saying that everybody will behave like this.

My husband is evidence that not all men and women are the same.

I am just saying that buying flowers as a love token is not proof that you love somebody.

Love is not proven in material belongings. Love is proven in how you treat and respect the person whom you declare love for.

I will accept flowers as gifts or just because you want to buy them for me, but please do not send flowers to prove that you love me, because love should never have to be proven.

If you feel the need to prove love, then it isn't love.