Do You Often Annoy Your Child?

Do you often get angry with your child, have outbursts of anger, lose your temper and slap your child (verbally or physically)? Does it happen that little nausea or the agitation and noise of the child will make you jump and make you unload your nerves on the little one?

Well, the first and most important thing to consider is: what will cause you to get angry: is it just what the child is doing - or is it something deeper? "

When you often annoy your child and fall prey to anger, reacting negatively and angering your little one, you need to think about the reasons why this happens so often, what effects anger episodes have on you and your child (about the effects on the child you can read in the Fury of the parent), what other ways to get over a situation exist.

Especially when it happens that you lose your temper and say or do things that you later regret, that you would not have done if you had not been nervous, you need to take steps to gain self-control and balance.

When you often annoy your child:

In the first years of a child's life, parents are overwhelmed by what it means to be cared for and overly tired. The baby's cries - which can only communicate in this way - can annoy you and make you lose any trace of calm.

You are tired, physically and mentally exhausted, and the little one never seems satisfied, crying and fidgeting. Do you end up screaming (practically or only in your mind) "what else does he want this time" ?!

For parents who have not been prepared to become parents, stress and exhaustion are far too much; they become irascible and always about to explode; they become nervous and look for excuses to snort; I even feel some resentment towards each other and towards the child, which causes all these problems. But it's not the baby's fault! And if you do not face the frustrations, they will only grow inside you and create an increasingly tense atmosphere.

The child will be a child: he acts impulsively, without thinking about the consequences, he expresses himself intensely, without controlling himself, he shakes and explores around, he thinks only about what he wants. He will make jokes out of simple curiosity or to attract attention, he will not behave according to the conventions, he will be irresponsible and immature.

Do you get annoyed when you see that she broke something again, that she got on her knees again, that she forgot something, that she behaved rudely again, that she screamed and fidgeted again? The child did not try to annoy you with such antics - he did not think about the effects of the action, but did what he felt he wanted to do! Why get upset and complain "he's so naughty, disobedient, immature" - of course, he's just a kid. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people.

"Because of the baby." When you do not cope with the frustrations you experience, when you do not know how to strike a balance, when you are dissatisfied with life in general, you can end up throwing responsibility on the child.

Because of him, you have no time for yourself; because of him you spend so much; because of him you have no more friends; because of him you quarrel with your partner; because of him, you get angry so often… But a deep frustration is not born because of the child - you are unhappy with life in general and too exhausted or blasé to think about how to change the situation for the better.

So the question is: what's behind the nerves? Why do you get so angry with your child and pour out your nerves on him? Just because she's crying or screaming? Just because he didn't listen to you? Just because he broke a glass?

A single naughty, naughty, noisy child is not the real cause of nervousness - it is the drop that filled the glass. It is what causes all the inner tension to reach its limit and explode in a furious rush towards the one who added the last drop to the cocktail of frustrations.

Don't lose your temper suddenly because a child has made a mistake or because you are disobedient: you lose your composure when you do not already have an inner balance and you are tense every day. When you have a particularly bad day, you happen to annoy your child with almost anything - and that's not what your child does that made you angry, but constant dissatisfaction with which you have to live.

Maybe you are living a hard life, full of responsibilities, with too few earnings from hard work, with too few moments of satisfaction and relaxation. Maybe you have problems with your life partner - especially maybe you get angry with him because he is not involved enough in caring for the child and you have to do everything on your own. But you often end up annoying your child when he behaves like almost any other child, immature and responsible.

But you need to keep in mind that as a parent, you are the one who is mature and responsible, and the way you treat your child greatly affects you. Just think of your childhood: how did your parents feel about you? How did you feel when they yelled, hit, or called you "stupid, naughty, lazy, ungrateful"? How do you feel now, remembering these? Is the child worth going through?

Even if he is disobedient, rude, selfish, he does not do it with malice. In addition, annoying and attacking you is an inefficient, negative way to impose yourself in front of the child. And when you are nervous, the truth is that you can't control yourself: you look at the child as an enemy and attack him angrily!

Therefore, rule no. 1 when you are nervous is: take time to calm down, then talk or punish the child. Limit any reaction when you are dominated by anger; Talking to him calmly is the way to educate him and to impose authority - screaming at him without control does not even convey the image of the parent who knows what is best and who must be respected!

Rule no. 2: Learn simple self-control techniques, techniques that can restore your calm, such as breathing and repeating a mantra.

And rule no. 3: think about all the dissatisfaction and problems that create tension and try to find ways to improve the situation: nothing is nailed down!