Do You Have Empathy?

Empathy - the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.

Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com

Empathy is such a small word but carries so much meaning. It is often confused with the word sympathy, which also means a caring response to someone’s emotional state.

The two words are different in that having sympathy for someone means that you care about the person who is having a tough time. If you have empathy, you are able to actively share in the person’s emotional experience.

I know this can be hard, especially if you are one of those people who don't show emotion. Heck most of us don't handle emotions well.

Most of the time, being present in the moment with someone means so much more than any words.

We live in a troubled world full of trauma and conflicts. The media is broadcasting horrific reports of suffering 24/7. Most people read, watch and move on with their day. They care and feel sympathy for the coverage but that is where it stops.

A trauma survivor feels so much more than the average Joe on the streets. I’m not being insensitive here and insinuating that most people don’t have feelings. What I am saying is that most people are able to shrug off events and carry on without thinking about it hours later.

When the news broadcast events of human suffering, those can trigger a deep empathy for the victims, and in turn trigger flashbacks to our own suffering. Distressing news can play on our minds for hours afterwards and sometimes bleed into the next day and the next.

Trauma survivors don’t choose to be sensitive. We simply have seen too much of the horrors of the world to be able to shrug off events as easily as someone who has not lived through trauma.

A plea…

When someone at work is having a tough day and shares something that makes those little hairs stand on end in your neck.

Something that doesn’t sit right with you. It may be how it was said or the way the colleague spoke.

That feeling right there, is your conscience telling you that the person in front of you might need your empathy.

It could be as simple as giving that person a listening ear over a coffee in the breakroom, or a beer after work if you have the time.

Stop and listen rather than carry on next time someone says something. It might help you in some way.

Can you be that person for someone?

I always feel better when I have helped someone that needed me.

I remember an old movie starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt called: "Pay It Forward" from 2000. It was about a young boy (played by Haley Joel Osment) who invented a system where everyone helped each other in some way. It made an impression on me and I still think of it sometimes.

Showing someone who is struggling that you care can mean more than you think. A trauma survivor could be having the worst day, but is doing a great job to hide it. One little slip of a word or a small action gives them away.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Is all it takes to show someone that you care.

It always starts with you.

One act of kindness - with or without words.

It can change someone's world.

My name is Lizzy, and I’m a mom, teacher, author and mental health blogger. I write for those who don’t always feel that they have a voice. For more about me, my books and articles check out my website: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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