Dissolution Pt. 2

It's actually insane how real visions can seem while you're deep in your mind. In this exact moment I couldn't even decipher whether this exchange with you was genuine or not. Not going to lie, it's slightly hazy in this room and everything is quiet. I only seen your lips moving but nothing comes out only these slight frequencies which I can't seem to decipher. Most times during this interaction my memory is immaculate and I visibly write these points in my head and remember them. My dwelling was abruptly interrupted by this beautifully aged lady next to me as she whispers, "Are you okay?" "Water please and a flame," I reply and before I could even ash my perfectly rolled fronto leaf I find myself in the passenger seat of this spirits 76' pumpkin Chevy Nova.

She looks at me as if she knows my brains is out of control and without effort words begin spilling out my mouth. I told her I never used to believe in the good things and I never felt I deserved what I wanted. The moment I decided to remember I am a divine being and have the power to manifest my dream life, it started becoming opposite. Out of excitement I scream, "I mean I went from paying for my meals to getting fed on my flights! Don't get me wrong this really took my entire life." Feeling the effects in the midst of my laughter I say respectfully, "...if anybody ever told you they came up over night on me they capped out!"

Considering she is a stranger to me, I am oddly comfortable. Although it's not weird for me to share my life with strangers; she seems special. I continue on as if she knows me, "I know I say this often but folks really be capped out, like they don't even know anything about credit... and not to sound like I have a God complex or anything but they're all really behind me." As we're waiting at the intersection close to my destination she quietly asks me, "Are these your friends?" To my left there is a car full of people hanging out the window brandishing weapons and screaming with pure freedom. "Of course," as I lean over the door of this drop top coupe responding to them with the same energy.

My lady begins to question me with concern, "Is this not illegal?" I point again at my group of friends now brandishing legal weapons with their licenses and we both laugh as they drive off. "We got all type of licenses...business...weapons...real estate... drivers... YOU NAME IT," I spill to clear concern. I'm sure at this point most people would find such a drawn out meeting to be awkward but I kept going on about my life.

"Man those guys really saved my life...like off ya witnesses type solid. I done seen folks folding way before I came up but these my peoples foreal. Aint no more acting funny," was the line that really made her eyes grow. Again she questions, "What do you all do?" Coming straight off my chest I say with no regret, "Ma'am, we are the biggest names in music you will ever witness in your entire human existence." I could tell she was amazed by our accomplishments and I begin telling her how we got to where we are now.

Reminiscing on the long, hard, restless nights that took years to pay off I told her we had no more tears to shed. Explaining instead how we learned to channel our pain into music in such a melodic way, you'd think you just took some acid. "We have always been focused on our music spiritually. We don't gangbang, were not selling our souls, the only thing we were focused on was trying to maintain our sleep schedule," I say laughing to make sure she understands this is over. "... it's so much on the line we can die about it. I mean how are we supposed to reach the top if we don't take it there, you know?"

This conversation is making me realize my own accomplishments, maybe ones I previously took for granted. All the uncomfortable parties where intoxicated strangers are the only thing that brought me joy. I realize my struggle has shown me i'm made for the life I am pursing. I start to mumble as we are cruising back into where we both started, "You know what... im made for this and anyone who thinks different can suck my-." The beautiful lady cuts me off and lets me know we've made it back. I mirror her satisfied but mellow eyes as we embrace to say our goodbyes.

I watch as she drives off and its almost as if she vanished leaving me frozen in confusion. Looking down at my hands occupied by my empty cup and the ashes of a good time, I began to experience a dissolution. Questioning if any of this is even real and patting my pockets for a pencil; I slowly feel my memory start to fade. All I remember were the last words the beautifully aged woman expressed before she left that went, "All of this is in your head, don't question it just accept it."