Diary of a bad b x

How many times has it crossed your mind why am I not good enough? Or why can’t I be her?

Social media is scary because we see these warped images daily of people looking like absolute perfection and wondering why we don’t look the same when in reality while these people are stunning they have filler, veneers, bbl, extensions and so on.

For me and maybe a lot of other girls it use to be that I just wanted to be wanted. Yes I’ll admit I use to be comparing myself to these girls too. Sounds silly but I wanted someone to want me for who I am without any change needed. Was that too much to ask? It’s pretty much every girls dream right?

While you may cop your man flicking through half naked pics on the gram or looking at all kinds of porn, does that really mean you’re not good enough? How our minds can let one person determine our self worth is crazy.

I distanced myself from social media about 6 or 7 years ago and I felt it was the best thing I could’ve done for my mental health. The internet can be a very toxic environment and as we all know it can be hard to have an intimate relationship with how accessible the internet is nowadays.

If only we were back when people were when pals first, the easy times ayy!

If I’ve learned anything in my 23 years on this Earth it’s that looks won’t keep a man. Yes they may get a man into bed but they won’t make him stay and I suppose that’s visa versa.

You may have spend your time reading this and think “ah jaysis I’m well due a cuppa tea now sure when she gonna be finished talking shite” … ha well listen if you’re gonna take anything from this just don’t change anything about who you are to please anyone.

Whether you wish to change your hair, weight, teeth, style or whatever please just make sure you’re doing it for YOU, don’t ever let some pea brain make you feel not worthy enough.

You’re more than enough, I promise.

I like to think of myself as a work in progress, I’m still learning everyday and continuously looking for ways to better myself. Most importantly I’ve learned that the only person I need to change for is me.

Over a few years of dating I’ve learned that some men love being the dominant partner and feeling like they have the most control in the relationship. However, as you mature and get older you realise relationships aren’t about having ‘control’ because that’s just gonna end in disaster. It should be about two clowns who love each other dearly and have gas craic together.

Now that being said, It’s easy to lose yourself a wee bit when it comes to relationships because you end up having the same mindset or same way of doing things as your partner so when it comes to arguing it’s like the same person arguing with themselves.

That’s why it’s important to remember when fighting its yous BOTH against the problem not you vs him.

Of course you’re always gonna have your differences with people sure it be boring if we were all the same!

I think it’s gas because when it comes to intimate relationships I’m such a sensitive sally like a man could say “jump” and I’d be like “yeah cool how high”… I like to laugh about it but it’s one thing I hate about myself.

Learn to be tougher…. No I don’t mean be a bitch, don’t treat people like shit it’s not cool.

I mean learn to disagree, it’s okay to have a different opinion and no that doesn’t mean to say you’re looking for an argument. If you can’t express your feelings in a safe environment then maybe you’re in the wrong environment with the wrong person.

Learn to be happy by yourself. It’s like having a tomagotchi when you’re in a relationship the idea of having someone to love and care for is great especially when you’re getting that in return. Just remember to also have alone time and by that I mean hobbies, read a book, learn new skills, pamper time, time with your friends or whatever just don’t let a relationship be your main source of happiness.

YOU CAN’T LET SOMEONE ELSE BE THE SOURCE OF YOUR HAPPINESS, you’ll end up extremely disappointed.

You’ll get the best out of your relationship when you’re fully content from within.

A work in progress? A bitch with sass? A classy piece of ass? Whatever you are, just enjoy your little jouney to self love through the good days and the whinging cause you’ve no make up left days.

We’re all in the same boat, just that some of us can’t swim. Lol.

So I better wrap this up, yeah literally cause eh I’ve a chicken wrap going cold here lads.

So go on g’luck til next time

xo