Devil May Care

“Excuse me sir? You can’t smoke here.” Malice snapped his lighter closed. Slowly looking up at the nurse standing in front of him, clad in pink scrub pants and a white scrub top adorned with little kittens in various states of play . A warm friendly smile spread across his face as he pushed off the wall. “Oh I don’t smoke, truly filthy habit if you ask me, I just find the mechanics and the sounds of the lighter to be very soothing.” Hey said as he slipped the lighter back into the pocket of his black satin vest buttoning up his black suit jacket. The nurse smiled back at the demon of vengeance politely nodding. “Well that's alright then, just please be mindful of the no smoking and no open flame signs, we have a lot of patients on oxygen on this floor.”

“Of course, thank you so much for the warning.” Malice raised his hand tipping his fedora slightly to the young lady before she walked off. The smile quickly faded from his lips as he inhaled deeply, letting his breath out slowly as he found himself reaching for his lighter once again, finding comfort in the clicking as he opened and closed the small fetish. He looked up at the cross mounted above the door on the opposite side of the hallway.

“This is gonna suck.” Malice snapped his lighter closed one last time and took long strides ,his polished dress shoes clicking on the tile floor, he reached out and pushed the door open. Usually, at this point when someone like him entered a place like this the room would shake, the feeling of thousands of white hot needles piercing each nerve would flood over his body like an unyielding tsunami of pain. “Vengeance doesn’t care about sides or rules it happens anywhere, anytime, so that's what you need to be able to do.” That was the line they fed Mal Before he took the job. That meant no shaking rooms no needle pain, just straight to the screaming. He looked down at the lighter in his hand, the thing protecting him in this place of worship. He recalled sitting in the center of the vault where they were kept the fetishes of his order, slowly moving his eyes over each and every item. The avatars before him all chose some form of giant weapon, taking the saying “Weapon of vengeance” a little too on the nose. Malice never took to that saying.

Vengeance wasn’t what he truly was. Vengeance was the result of what he was. He was a feeling, it didn’t have a name. a powerful feeling, a feeling that burned deep inside until it erupts forth in a fiery fury, like a spark. That's what he truly was, and no, cudgel or blade or firearm could ever really represent that. He recalled giving up hope and began reaching for a dagger or an axe, or something, when out of the corner of his eye he saw a small glint of gold. It took a little digging. Past a rack of spears a few gloves, and oddly enough, a series of chainsaws. Until finally he saw it. A matte black lighter with a small gold cross in the corner. The keeper had said something to him before he entered. “The vault always knows.” The old coot wasn't kidding.

Mal’s train of thought was derailed by the sound of coughing. Not a trying to get someone's attention cough, but a hacking wheezing, lungs filling with fluid and choking the life from someone kind of cough. He looked up and saw her. Lisa Williams, a very bright 8 year old girl with a passion for scary movies, Ponies, and terminal lung cancer. Clad in a pale blue cotton hospital gown she sat alone, playing with a small rag doll. He reached up removing his hat, slowly walking down the aisle to the front pew where the girl sat with her IV and oxygen tank.

“Hi Lisa” He said softly, the girl jumped slightly startled by the sudden presence.

“Who...are you?” She said drawing deep breaths of oxygen as she spoke. Malice sat down next to the girl leaning forward. “My name is Malice. You can call me Mal if you want, and that is a special exception believe me, there is a lady out there named Charity that is super jealous of you right now.” The girl looked at the demon curiously for a long moment before her eyes returned to the small doll in her hands. “Are you... sick too?”

“No, I don’t get sick really all that much.”

“Are you...visiting someone?”

“Yeah, you in fact.” Malice looked over at her with a warm smile.

“...Really? How...Come?”

“Well, you called me. Remember? You prayed really hard for someone to kill the cancer in your lungs last night?”

The girl's eyes widened in excitement as she sat up in the pew moving closer to the demon.

“Really? you’re ...You’re here to help me? Angels are real? I knew it I knew mom was right if I ju-”

Malice winced as The girl worked herself up into a violent coughing fit he reached over gently patting Lisa on the back. “It’s ok, just breath, in then out, that a girl there you go. Take a second and I’ll explain some stuff.”

Lisa was able to settle herself down reaching over and adjusting her oxygen levels to help. Malice leaned back in the pew reaching up and loosening his black tie unbuttoning the top button of his red dress shirt, looking up at the cross above the alter. “So, the first thing you should know, is, I’m no angel, I used to be...looong time ago, but, not so much anymore. I’m actually from downstairs.” Lisa’s happy expression vanished quickly twisting into fear and confusion as her breath began to quicken again.

“No no no no, it’s ok, I'm not here to hurt you, or steal your soul or anything like that. I promise you’re not in trouble with anyone, so just relax. Nice and easy breaths. Let me just explain ok?”

Malice shifted down the pew leaving a few spaces in between himself and the girl to prove he wasn’t there to harm her. And she quickly settled down. Malice looked down at his hat choosing his words carefully.

“So the way you asked for help...the words you used. Someone to kill your cancer for you. That falls under my job description. See, I help people, hurt other people, who hurt them. Does that make sense?” The girl stared at the demon for a long moment before nodding her head softly. “Of course you get it, you’re a smart kid, So, that's called Vengeance or revenge or well you get the idea, sometimes words have two meanings, no..no that's a Led Zepplin song...I’m rambling…” Lisa giggled sliding down the pew to close the gap between herself and the flustered ethereal creature. “You’re kinda... funny” Malice looked at the girl with a raised eyebrow. “Kinda? “ He shrugs nodding his head softly. “Sure. I’ll take it.” He winked at the girl with a smirk before taking a breath and getting back on track. “Where was I? Ok so, what you’re looking for, what your heart desires is to have revenge against the cancer right? For all its done to you, your family, friends.” The Girl nodded enthusiastically ”I just want my mom to stop crying, and I don’t want to cough anymore.”

Malice opened his mouth but no words came out, for the first time in over a hundred millennia the demon was unable to come up with a quip or a joke or a word of comfort he just sat in silence slouching his shoulders. “So...you’re not here to cure my cancer?” The girl asked as she leaned over resting her head on Mal's arm surprising him out of his stunned silence. “Umm..no, I can’t.”

“But why? Did I... do something bad?” the girl asked a gut punch to the demon. “No kiddo, this isn’t your fault, but at the same time, and in a way, it’s not the cancers either. Does that make sense?”

He felt the girl shake her head no against his arm. ”No, it is the ….cancers fault..., cancer’s bad.”

“Right, but not in the way you think it is. See, cancer isn’t evil, it's not malicious or spiteful or conniving, it doesn't plot against people in the night. Cancer just...is... it’s just a thing that happens to people, not on purpose, but just a random roll of the dice. Bad luck...Does that make it any more clear?”

He looked down at the girl who was watching him very intently during his explanation and nodded softly. “Yeah...I think so. So, then... your not here to answer…. my prayer?”

He sighed again nodding his head. “I am here to answer your prayer, and I will let you in on a secret not many humans know.” He looks around and leans in close. “He listens to every prayer and answers each one.” The girl blinked confused “but you said ….you weren’t going…. to help me.”

“That's right. Like I said he always answers, but sometimes…. Sometimes the answer is no kiddo.”

“That's...not fair” The girl said tears welling up in her eyes. Mal reached his arm around the girl in an awkward attempt to comfort her. “I know, it doesn’t seem like it. but , and I know it sounds like a cliche, but he actually does have a plan, the problem is he doesn’t tell anyone, and that subject was a big one in a fight we all had a really long time ago…but, he’ll tell it to you, at least your part, once you meet him”

“When will...that be?” the girl asked wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“I don’t know” He lied. Knowing everything about a person after all is part of the job.

“But, when the time comes, a real nice lady is going to come and get you, then she's going to take you to meet another nice lady, you know that Jealous one I told you about? yeah , you’ll meet her, she’s kinda funny to, but not as funny as me.”

“Will I..see you again?” She asked calmly, Malice couldn't believe how well this kid was taking all of this in stride. If this were an adult he would be jamming ear plugs in to block out the screaming and wailing. But Lisa?...calm cool and collected. “I hope so kiddo, you’re really cool. So I am going to give you a special treat. I will answer all of your questions, literally everything you want to know, I will tell you. Part of the job is to know everything.”

So they sat in the church for hours talking the little girl asking Malice everything thing she could ask, and he answered, no matter how uncomfortable or sad or angry the answer made Lisa, he figured he owed her that much. Lisa settled in close to malice leaning against his shoulder once again as she listened.

“And that is what really happened at Rosewell New Mexico, though I feel like might have gotten a little off topic there..” He saw the girl rise to her feet then, it was odd, her IV and oxygen tube weren’t attached to her anymore, and her Pale Blue Gown was now a beautiful white flowery sundress...and he swore he could still feel her leaned up against him.

“I think, it’s time to go now.” She said. Mal blinked at her voice, so clear, no labored breathing, he quickly looked back down at the seat next to him seeing a very still, very pale, little girl still resting on his shoulder.

“That is correct little one.” A shiver went up Mal’s spine as the soft soothing and loving voice floated into his ears, He slowly turned his head toward the dark corner of the room, the shadow melted and warped wrapping around a female visage transforming into a long flowing dress, fire red hair adorned with barrettes and gems and trinkets from countless ages wafted over the pale elegant face of death herself, her expression as always a whimsical curiosity of all things around her, her neck arms and hands clad in rings and bracelets and amulets and jewels from all over the universe.

She moved, more floated, toward the pair, Malice frozen in his seat. It was her, actually her, not an alternate sent in her stead like he’d seen countless times before...but THE death. Lisa calmly walked over to the woman taking her outreached hand. “Are you the nice lady Mal was telling me about?” she asked looking up at Death.

“I think I am, I hope Mr. Malice didn’t embellish his stories about me to much” she said with a whimsical tone. Malice chuckled and coughed nervously as he slowly stood gently resting the girls body onto the pew. “Umm..I..umm no ma’am, I would never..” He sputtered nervously standing before one of the trinity was nerve wracking to say the least.

Death lowered herself down to look Lisa in the eye. A loving smile on her lips. “We are going to be going in a moment, say goodbye to your friend and wait for me right over there, I just need to speak to Malice for a moment.”

Malice swallowed hard as Death looked up at him intently. His thoughts of impending doom paused briefly as Lisa walked over and hugged malice tightly. “Thank you for keeping me company, and for all the stories Mal. I’ll tell Charity you said hi!” She giggled and malice got a little flustered. “Thanks kiddo. You be good ok?” She nodded and skipped over to where she was instructed.

Just then, the same kitten clad nurse walked into the chapel not seeming to notice the people standing there, she was frantically searching the pews when she found what she was looking for, Lisa’s body, She ran screaming for help to the chapel doors calling a code blue.

“She can’t see us.” Death said as she silently appeared right in front of malice to his shock. “I figured” Mal said clearing his throat and taking a step back nervously. “That's umm, your doing huh? I was never taught that one.”

“For some, it is taught.” Death said as she watched with curiosity the doctors and nurses returning with a crash cart and a gurney to collect the girl. “For me, it just is, in most instances, you don’t see Death coming” Malice chuckled at the pun coughing and clearing his throat again realizing once again who he was talking to. “You broke quite a few of the rules to come here tonight Malice.” The woman said, her tone becoming more stern as well as her gaze. “Your side has, especially in recent history, a very annoying habit of doing that bu-.”

He nodded the shiver from her first word still present and amplifying with each new one. “I know..I just..look she's just a kid.” He gestured toward the girl’s soul looking out the window of the chapel seemingly uninterested with the medical team trying desperately to revive her body only a few short feet away. “And I...I just..she needed an answer, to hear an answer, I'm so sick of the vagueness and the bullshit bureaucracy that has to be involved, quick and clean, no one screaming.” Anger was trickling into his voice, resentment from eons of the same pointless nonsense seeping into each word. “That's how it should be and y-” He was muted by the look on the face of Death.

She froze him with a fiery glare he was warned about when he first started, but never truly believed until this very moment. “You and your, employer, you are the ones responsible for the fear and the screaming and the rules WE all agreed to follow as a result of petty squabbling, never, forget that.” Her tone was steel and Malice felt the strength leaving his legs as he gripped a nearby pew for support. “Yeah, I get it. We’re the bad guys, we fucked up same old crap, the point is you don’t need to punish her for the shit we did, a fucking yes, or a fucking no, that's all they want and either upstairs nor downstairs seem to care. And I’m, I’m done with it.”

They stood there, the two of them, Death having only been ever spoken to once in that manner by another prominent demon, and Malice, A lower level demon really wishing he could use the information he had about time travel just now. Death sighed softly her expression softening to the curious expression she had when she entered as she began watching as the doctor and nurses shocked Lisa's body for the fourth time the heart monitor still flatlined. “I don’t know how many times they have pulled someone back with these machines when it was their time.” She said. Malice looked over as well another shot of eppi being injected straight in the girls heart. “Yeah...plucky little creatures aren’t they?”

She chuckled and Malice blinked not expecting the sudden mood change. “I was, before you interrupted me, going to say that in this case, I agreed with you. She needed someone to give that answer directly, she needed you, thank you.” Malice was once again speechless and just nodded softly in response. “Talk to your boss, if you can find him, and then come find me again, we have more to talk about.”

And with that Death floated away toward the girl “Lisa, it's time to go dear.” the little girl returned to Deaths side, waved goodbye to Malice and the two were simply gone.

“Time of Death 18 hundred hours.” The doctor said with a deep reluctant sadness.

“Excuse me sir? There is no smoking here.” Malice looked up finding he had navigated himself on autopilot out of the chapel back to the far wall of the hallway where the night had started, flicking his lighter open and shut. “Oh, I’m sorry, was lost there for a moment, won't happen again.” He smiled at the older nurse wearing drab blue scrubs giving him the stink eye as she slowly walked away. He pushed off the wall as he watched Lisa’s body being taken from the chapel on the gurney they had rushed in. He smiled softly removing his hat knowing that the soul that inhabited it would be off to a much better place.

He placed the lighter in the pocket of his vest while placing his fedora atop his head again. To his surprise he felt something else inside the pocket obstructing the lighters entrance. He pulled out a bright white business card with an elegantly scripted D in black on the center, on the reverse of the card, an address downtown. “Talk to my boss huh?” He said as he traced his finger over the “D” “What did she mean, if I can find him?”