Dear Younger Me...

Have you ever wished you could go backward in time? Not to relive the reckless days of your youth, but to tell yourself, “Hey! It’s going to be okay. Life isn’t that horrible after all”? Maybe it’s only once. Perhaps you’d time travel, find your teenage self and give him or her a hug, and say, “Hang in there, kiddo. It will get better.” Maybe you’d open a lifeline between the two selves and check in a few times a week.

I don’t think about my youth very much anymore. It seems a lifetime away, and it’s difficult to recall in great detail. Sure, I have moments that stand out. A football game in December that was so cold, our band instruments froze, and we got sent home before halftime. Trips to Disney, both Florida and California, with the high school band (are you sensing a theme here?) The time in chemistry class I made a supersaturated solution, and made it crystallize with one flake of reagent, or the day we made cold water boil. The day geometry clicked, and I understood it. The time in band class I met a lifelong friend.

So, if I could write a letter to my younger self, what sort of advice would I give me? A few things come to mind:

1. Don’t bother with honors level science classes. Pharmacy school? It didn’t work out, and neither did university for bunches of reasons. I’ll warn you about that stuff later.
2. Do bother with honors level English and literature classes. It turns out you have a knack for writing, and a love for creative writing. If you would have switched concentration in high school, you might have done better in college with a degree in English Lit. Maybe you would have authored your first book at a younger age.
3. Not everyone you were friends with back in school were your friends. I won’t name names, but you know who they are. Tap them on the shoulder and say goodbye. It will save yourself some heartache in the future. And your actual friends? Keep contact with them, so you never lose track. Trust me, you’ll cherish them when you’re my age.
4. Don’t wait until you’re almost 18 to drive. There were so many mistakes with driving. But waiting, not getting right into the saddle at 16 was a colossal blunder. It kept you more dependent on your mom and dad, and while they didn’t mind being a chauffeur, it didn’t help your sense of independence, either. It also brings me to my next point…
5. Don’t be afraid. A few days ago, I posted a meme on my personal Facebook feed, asking my friends to use one word to describe me. The one word that shocked me the most was “brave.” I don’t consider myself to be a brave person. I’m a full-on coward. Bees? Terrified. Driving? I could have some PTSD from accidents, none of which were my fault. I have a fear of heights, getting hurt, and by extension, pain—which is rich for a chronic pain sufferer. There are many more. But, Younger Me, life is fleeting, and you shouldn’t be fearful. Fear is not of God. Speaking of which…
6. Stay connected to God. You were on the right track in high school. Youth group with Kempton. Services every Saturday night, even to the point of dragging Mom & Dad with you. Some of your best memories were made in church. Never walk away from it. It’s hard to get that passion back once it’s gone. On a similar note…
7. Forgive your enemies. Oh, I had a few. No one I ever fought, but I was bullied. A lot. I still remember their names, and what they did to me, where it happened, and how they made me feel. Only one person has ever said, “I’m sorry.” It’s easier to forgive when you have an open invitation to do it. But it’s so much harder to forgive a) someone who doesn’t ask forgiveness, and/or b) someone who isn’t sorry. Forgive them anyway. Don’t waste your life in the shackles of unforgiveness. It’s too darned short.
8. You should have taken Spanish instead of French. Because times I have used French in everyday life? Zero, nada, zip, zilch. Enough said!
9. You should have read more. For all the study halls you spent in the library, you should have read a LOT more, kiddo. And not trashy romance novels, either (although some of that would be handy today, all things considered!) Read the classics—for goodness sakes, something other than MAD Magazine. It will mean much more to you in the future.
10. Take a break before heading to college. You were burned out, but you listened to poor advice. If you’d listened to your gut, perhaps you’d have gone to community college. Or maybe you would have pursued other interests—a passion, a talent. UCONN was not a suitable option for you. This brings me to this gem…
11. If you still go to UCONN after graduation, when you have the chance to switch roommates, DO NOT DO IT! And if you end up with “her”… for pity’s sake, don’t follow her and her crazy friends into the woods behind the dorm. You still have nightmares about that.
12. My last point, and perhaps the most important of all. This one is aimed at Twenty-Something Me. Wait like you promised yourself you would, and don’t falter. Don’t throw away the most awesome gift you had to give and waste it on someone who doesn’t even remember your name. Keep yourself chaste and pure as you intended, waiting for that one special man. He was out there if you’d have waited just another three months. This remains one of your biggest regrets to this day.

What would you tell your younger self?

Originally posted on my blog, Random Thoughts, Purposeful Life, on August 28, 2019