Closure

Giving yourself closure is like being in the wilderness. How do you know for sure because you're not the person? Yet, one thing for sure people come and go. It is sometimes difficult to let a person go without getting the answers, but there is a way to give yourself closure.

Why do people ghost is something that will always be difficult to understand. It is understandable when you have already told the person you are no longer interested in pursuing any type of relationship with them. In circumstances when that has not been communicated then a person may have all types of questions.

The hardest part about being ghosted is not understanding why that person felt to need to leave without saying a word. Whether it is a casual, romantic, or platonic relationship it leaves a certain type of pain and can even change the person.

Not everyone is good at communicating how they feel and it takes a certain type of courage to say how hurtful their action is and the way it affected how you feel. As difficult as it is say it, it is also difficult for people to hear it. When you care about someone and want to remain in a person’s life those uncomfortable conversations are needed to keep things going.

There are times when no matter what you say or what you do getting the answers will not help with how you feel. There are times when you won’t be able to get those answers. The ghoster may not care enough, knowing they hurt you may be too much, or they aren’t sure how to talk about why they did what they did. In situations, where you are forced to give yourself closure it is important to know you’re not alone. Many men and women go through this in life and sadly it can happen more than once.

1. Stop asking why.

It is almost impossible not to wonder, 'Why did this happen?' 'What could I have said or done?' just like it is impossible to get the answers from the person. Truth is if you are being ghosted it is not you, it is them. Instead of asking yourself why what, or did I? Ask what is so broken in them he/she could not have said clearly they want to go separate ways.

2. Be okay with no response.

When someone is ghosting you have a few options:

1. Let things continue to go unspoken.
2. Send a final text.
3. Write a good-bye letter.

Sending a final text and writing a good-bye letter is the best way to give yourself the proper closure. The final text can be your good-bye letter. Since it is a text this gives the option of sending or deleting it. The chances of the person responding back most likely are not going to occur. This is why you'll need to make sure you're ready to be ignored if you opt to send the text. Either way, be okay with knowing you may never hear from them again. This can be challenging when there is no reasonable explanation for what caused the ghosting. However, once you have reached the point of being content without their presence you'll be able to move forward.

3. Distraction.

Some smoke to take the edge off, some binge drink to forget, and others dive into work. Everyone deals with pain differently, but when going through a ghosting situation it is vital to have distractions. If you have friends it is likely they will help. If you are anti-social or tend not to want people around when going through such find a hobby or go on an adventure.

4. Not everyone is the same.

It is good to remind yourself that everyone is not the same. The saying, 'Hurt people, hurt people' very much applies. It is easy to feel like the next person is going to do the same. This may be a way to protect yourself or maybe they've begun to show similar behavior. Still, remind yourself not everyone is the same and proceed with caution.

These four tips are important to be able to properly move on without driving yourself crazy on the questions. Not giving yourself the proper time to heal from a situation does a disservice to not only yourself but around. Being ghosted is not easy to understand. Most likely both parties have indicated that they want to continue to be around, however, out of the blue it changes. There are sometimes signs to indicate that a person is about to ghost. Often there is no sign and you're left doing guesswork.

Not giving yourself the proper time to heal from a situation does a disservice to not only yourself but around. Being ghosted is not easy to understand. Most likely both parties have indicated that they want to continue to be around, however, out of the blue it changes. There are sometimes signs to indicate that a person is about to ghost. Often there is no sign and you're left doing guesswork.

From personal experience, I've dealt with it one too many times. Being that I tend to get attached easily I've begun seeing the signs when ghosting is about to occur. One can say that due to me getting attached this is why they ghost. However, there is no reason that can justify cutting a person off without saying a word. Due to having a few experiences with this situation. There are a few things I’ve noticed. Sadly, after calling them out on it and letting them know it's no need to ghost - they can say they want to go separate ways. This tends to make them want to stay a little longer which is confusing, but that's another story.