Can You "Make" Her Love You? A Hearts Reflection on Passion and Loss

Of course, I liked what I saw, from the very first second. Who knows if it’s a curse or a blessing that nature puts into us? All I know is that when my eyes fell on her, she was mine. It was as simple as that.

I didn’t even stop to verify if she liked me. I think I was convinced that she did like me. I also think that maybe I didn’t care one iota about anything except what I wanted at that time. It’s a bit terrifying when you realize that this is somebody with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. It’s a feeling like you have been hit with a bolt of lightning. Everything else just disappeared

We became physical minutes after we met. I couldn’t stop myself and neither did she. Some people might have opinions about being physical when you don’t really know the person that well. It cemented my feelings toward her. I was furious to make her mine.

I’m older and wiser now and as I think back, I definitely have opinions about being physical so quickly. I can see now that it says a lot of things that are not good. But at the time, to a completely inexperienced young man, it was heaven. How are you supposed to know that it was just hormones? Did I mention I was young? I thought it was love.

It’s amazing what nature puts into us. The closer she and I became, I felt like I was drowning in the emotion of love. I felt compelled to write love letters saying how I felt.

She was 17 and I was 18. We were so in love, or at least it felt like love. Who knows what love is really, especially when you’re just a baby yourself?

It seems like love is a tonic that comes and goes at the whim of the other person. But it was different with this girl. I never thought that I was

“making” her fall in love with me. It never dawned on me that I could be that clever, to manipulate someone into falling in love with me.

To me, everything just seemed to happen, and I didn’t question it. We adored each other and we hung on each and every word. We got into fights, and we made up. That is so thrilling when that happens. I actually loved the drama.

I showered her with attention. I didn’t have the advantage of the Internet to see how I was supposed to act. I had to figure that out all by myself.

When I was that kid, it was the same as now. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and if I like you, I want you to hear about it. I suppose that I’m supposed to be coy but that’s stupid. If I like you, I have a trick I use to let you know about it. I say, “ I like you” and then I tell you why.

I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for that kind of stuff.

But I didn’t just tell this girl I liked her. I told her that I loved her. She said it too, but I said it first. I wrote love letters to her. I called her on the phone. I hitchhiked to her house. I couldn’t wait to see her again. It seemed that she loved me the same. We went to drive-in movies and never watched the show. We created our own show that was way better.

Moving ahead thirteen years, we couldn’t stand each other. When I got off of work, I refused to go home and spend time with her. Her behavior and treatment of me were impossible to live with. I didn’t know what to do because I was still so head over heels in love and it would take a miracle to save this marriage. How could she change so much, and I remained the same, No that’s not entirely true. I changed too. I think we were just too young to know what we really wanted. The only thing I knew was that I was always so much in love, and it didn’t seem like she felt that way anymore.

How could she do and say things she was saying? What happened to make her begin to despise me the minute we started a marriage and a family?

So many questions are constantly running through my mind about what happened. I saw that marriage is something gorgeous. Full of fresh-cut flowers and music and so many beautiful things.

Did we marry at too young an age? We were both just kids and very naïve. But the passion I felt in my heart could’ve lifted a train off of its tracks. Eventually, she burned down the house and I became an alcoholic over our relationship. Now, I can’t get one thought out of my mind. Did she really love me? Did she love me then, but not now? If that was true what made her change? Was it me? I don’t know.

I think one day she decided that I wasn’t the man of her choice anymore.

Early on, perhaps I came on strong and unknowingly took advantage of her naivety. I didn’t do it intentionally, I was a kid too. I think she was caught up in the moment with my passionate letters and my waterfall of attention.

So hurtful to say, but I think it took her getting pregnant with somebody’s child that make me feel that she never really loved me. We were together for thirteen years. I can’t even think about it without breaking down crying like I am right now.

But I wish somebody could tell me why, if she didn’t want me, why did she beg me to come back every time I left her? There’s a little voice inside of me that says maybe I should’ve tried one more time. There’s also another little voice that says I’m very fond of life, and the direction I was heading was either insanity or prison or suicide. That’s when I decided it just can’t be worth it and I have to save myself. Leaving somebody that you love more than anybody else on the planet, was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. I’m still not over it. If she was still alive, I could never go back to her. It would be like heroin. How quickly I would taste that passion one more time. You would never want to start it again after you quit, because you can’t stop

I will love that woman until the day I die. (I can separate the pain).

I’m stuck in the past.

My emotional maturity does not match my age. I’m constantly searching for answers. I don’t know if I believe what I find or not.

((It is just random Internet advice, so I think a person should decide for themselves about what they read in regards to falling in love.

While you can’t “make” someone fall in love with you, you can significantly increase the chances by building a strong emotional connection through genuine interactions, shared experiences, active listening, showing genuine interest in them, and being yourself; essentially, creating a positive and supportive environment that encourages them to develop feelings for you over time.))

Yeah, right! This sounds like a recipe for friendship love, Not romantic love.

Nostalgia is such a bitch. My heart feels like it’s coming out of my chest and bleeding all over the floor again

You know you don’t just fall in love with one person in your life. It’s the middle of the night right now and I hope that my wonderful wife treats me gently today.

Thank God she understands my past. She is my silver spring.

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