Broken pieces never fit the same

When will this tearing pain stop? It burns my flesh and breaks my bones. I can't stand it. When I sleep, it becomes a numbing pain that engulfs my body. My skin feels like acid, and my eyes as if salt was poured into them. A broken heart takes twice as long to heal as it did to fall in love. If only I could see you for one more moment.

Why me? Why now? Why does it have to be you?

If only you were here, you'd know how to mend my wounds, how to stop this pain. You'd give me your warmth and your love. My love for you pushes me towards passion, yearning for you. Then when you left, and you took your warmth away, it left me broken.

Broken and freezing, waiting for your warmth to come back to me. Tears fall down my face, it's so cold now that even they leave a chill on my cheek. Who I was when you were around was only a reflection of my passion. My feelings went unnoticed and went ongoing unnoticed. I should've just spoken to you, in private, a deep conversation, a confession of my love.

I felt whole. The sun shined a little brighter, and the wind blew a little softer, just for me. I told myself that it was because of you. My dreams of you whispering my name into the wind when you see me, crushed. I'd smile to myself, thinking about you approaching me with curiosity, which never came to fruition. The way you walked and talked entangled me in your trap. You could have never planned something like this, could you? Are you secretly a monster in sheep's clothing?

It's true I have no idea who the real you are, but that hasn't stopped me. I want to know you, the real you. I want you to call me up when you can't sleep, or surprise me when you know I'm down. What if you never do any of those things? What if you're a jerk who never even asks about my day?

I am left broken, unmoving, and unloved. I can't love you and I can't hate you. If I love you then I hurt myself. I'll swallow up every drop of loneliness that comes along with that. If I hate you then I hurt my integrity. I'm not a hateful person, but I hate the pain I feel. You don't deserve such hate from someone you don't seem to know exists. If it were up to me, I'd honestly just want you to be happy. I should be happy with that. With a clench of my fists and persistence that has yet to earn its name, I force myself to smile. The creases of my mouth push the tears over to the side. If you are gone, then why must I hurt.

I don't deserve pain, so why am I choosing to wallow in it. If it's not meant to be, then where am I supposed to go? I guess that's for me to find out and for you to have no part in. This is my burden to bear, with my missed opportunity. I'll move on, love another, love myself, or who knows. Love is a fickle creature, I've heard. It chooses wisely who it hurts and who thrives from it. The concept of love is a pure emotion but it won't mend a broken heart. The pieces that have been left behind are the pieces I hope you remember, but no pressure.

It's all silly kid stuff anyway.