Blanketed by Winter

Blanketed by Winter

A Conscious Solitude

The wind was still that day, the trees huddled together under the blanket of the most calming snowfall I had ever witnessed. The hushed tone of dusk on the horizon, began to run the length of the crooked fence line, which jaggedly protruded above the meadow in grey and white contrast. The snowfall would cover all the memories of the land today, and start tomorrow anew.

It was the movement of snowfall that had me look up again out of the lightly frosted window and gaze into its’ depth of seduction. Captivated and transfixed, I stood up from the table; the chair legs vibrating against the grain of the floor with a heavy sound and I absently dropped my paintbrush into the glass of water. Looking back on it now, I realized this was the first and only time I was drawn away from painting.

I walked slowly towards the window, almost as though I were being lead into shadow. I was overcome with a deep sadness; looking out at the expanse of a cold, suffocating white. Tears threatened to sting my eyes and I felt very alone in this encompassing darkness.

The first fall of snow was but a mere dusting. The snow will cover everything and all will be wiped from my memory, once again. Sudden anger flooded though me as I filled my minds eye with a mass amount of energy and it was easy to turn this feeling, into a demand.

‘This winter will blanket everything, calling enticingly. An abiding, eagerness to rest, even spirits will long for a grave,’ almost as though I were seeking revenge. With that thought, a lifetime of images flooded minds eye in an array of confusion. Abruptly, however, I began to feel presence of mind.

A distant ‘whoosh,’ came from the North and overwhelmingly so, my senses awakened. My eyes locked onto the majestic creature as my mind registered what I was seeing. There was no sound, there was no movement and there was no such thing as time. No direction to go, nor a chill to feel; life and death stood still for a time.

The white of the owl stood strikingly out from the winter sky and it had brown, speckled feathers on the tips of its wings. The creature flew with intent and direction, in quiet, yet powerful strides. It was like a sound without the echo which reached far into the abyss, with each pump of its wings. It glided gracefully, and came to perch upon the wooden fence. There it sat, motionless and proud, and then its head turned towards me.

I felt small, almost as though I wanted to recede backwards, away from the window, yet at the same time, I wanted to step closer to see this beautiful animal. I did not want to be afraid of it, nor for it to be afraid of me. With that thought, it suddenly turned its head and locked onto my gaze with a bright, yellow glow and I could not look away.

Its head turned towards the Willow tree and back at me again. I then remembered how cold it was; how still the air became in that moment, and how lucky I was to witness it. For this moment; I was not alone. Mixed emotions swelled up in my throat, but peace and tranquility filled my heart.

The snow continued its thick blanket of relief and I felt warm in the presence of the owl. It was still looking at me. It was large on the fence, however, I would not have seen it at all; in its camouflage of white, if it were not for witnessing its landing.

An excitement grew up from my stomach and somehow I had made a transition from being afraid of loneliness, to obtaining a sense of bravery in my conscious solitude with the presence of the owl. However, I knew it could not stay with me. With that thought, the owl shrugged its shoulders, head tilted slightly, and lifted off from the fence. The weight of its body shook the snow off some poles as it flew upwards and circled the area. It headed back over the tops of trees; the forest quietly accepting its wise guardian, in agreement to watch over and protect; reminding me of my conscious decision for solitude, I need not be afraid of.

- JKM