Better than Bitching on FB

I am telling my story on this platform for a handful of 'reasons'... It seems that I have basically 'exhausted' all other resources. My family has been toxic, to me, for as long as I can remember. I have tried to gain closure with them about the past - with the hopes of curing my anxiety/depression and, (to me?) more importantly, becoming best friends with my parents.

Most of my friends seem to have distanced themselves from me. And, I guess, I don't really blame them... They don't know - so it probably seems a bit excessive, or unnecessary (or w/e), to hear me constantly trippin' over this bullshit... But to me, "leaving the past in the past" is a great way to forget lessons that might be useful in creating a better future.

So, I will use this platform as my "journal" from now on... Try to separate my social media presence from my precarious, and increasingly unsustainable, life - as well as, hopefully, gaining enough 'reads' online to not be such a charity case to what little support system I have left...

I have been journaling for years about my life and it's struggles (as a way to fight/alleviate depression and the symptoms of the dysfunction)... I wish I found this platform sooner - I never knew I could share my problems in a way that generated (some, always better than no) profits.

I am currently surfing on a friend's couch - after four years of "HELL" (just my opinion, nonetheless a valid description).

I know that it is never smart to return to the stuff that 'hurt' you, with hopes of 'healing' anything... But, dammit... I went to school at OSU for mechanical and aerospace engineering.

I should be able to diagnose problems in working systems. I should be able to develop action plans to fix these issues. I should be able to create a new design that worked better than ever before... I'm a fucking engineer! :'(

I need to go to a laundromat and wash clothes for my new job (day 2 on Tuesday June 7th(?)). Thankfully, I should be driving deliveries by Tuesday... Which means tips for me to take home.

I am going to go into more of what brought me to this point in life, perhaps tonight? Wi-Fi is somewhat "spotty"... Piggybacking off my cell-phone's hotspot which just ran out of my monthly LTE DATA supply.