Beliefs That Harm Relationships with Asian Women

Generally, you bring into a relationship what you think is good, which can sometimes be the exact opposite.

You’ve most likely had your fair share of love at this point in your life. You’ve met more women than you can ever recall, braved frightening first dates, gone through failed relationship attempts, and got over ex-lovers.

Your experiences make you think you know everything as if love only needs simple logic. However, romantic relationships are always bound to face struggles and failure because nothing — and no one — in life is perfect, and seeing through rose-colored glasses doesn’t work all the time.

The Impact of False Beliefs

According to David Bennett, a counselor and relationship expert, what you believe about relationships is going to impact how you act within them. As mentioned, it's natural for you to apply what you think is good for your relationship after experiencing it first-hand.

So how do false beliefs affect a relationship?

We hope you’re familiar with the Dunning-Kruger Effect. It happens when you feel most confident about what you know despite having little information about it. Because it’s harder to see within your own love life, you’re likely to mistake fake beliefs for the ones that can help your relationship thrive.

To clarify, here are some harmful relationship beliefs that prove knowing about something doesn’t mean you know everything.

1. Does being far away from each other destroy the relationship?

Love makes you want to spend time together with your partner.

It’s easy to be eager to see someone when you're madly in love with them. It’s also a way for you to get to know each other better and for you to know if things will work out between you.

Time spent with them is something you look forward to. Consequently, this leads you to believe that being apart from each other will only ruin the relationship.

This is false. Physical distance brings you closer to each other because you communicate more often and make time count.

At the same time, it encourages you to have meaningful conversations, more faith, and fewer arguments. In fact, long-distance couples feel less suffocated, thus making them less likely to break up.

Distance and space can strengthen a relationship.

2. Should my partner always stand up for me?

Real love isn’t sugar-coated.

As a partner, it’s normal to make the other feel better when they’re facing hardships. You give them your comfort and advice, and you remind them that you’ll always have their back. However, it isn’t helpful all the time.

Tolerance in relationships is only for the right things. The wrong ones, on the other hand, should be pointed out. You don’t have to tell them lies just to make them stop crying, nor should you say that what they did was right when it wasn’t.

They have to hear honest thoughts from you. Help them grow as a person who sees the difference between black and white. Pull your end of the rope by showing genuine concern.

Commend when you should, reprimand if you must.

3. Should I have to forgive my partner all the time?

Forgiveness is a common response to a partner’s mistakes.

It’s pointless when you forgive them, yet they atone to no avail. It destroys your level of self-respect, making you uncertain of what you really want and who you are as a person.

As a result, they don’t act well. Because they are used to being forgiven, you’re more likely to encounter the same problem all over again.

Forgiveness is for yourself. If their love for you is genuine, they won’t put you through the same amount of pain, let alone do things repeatedly that end up hurting you.

4. Will optimism save my relationship?

Issues test your love and it also makes you stronger. But when you’re faced with too many adversaries, optimism isn’t a solution. Just because you want to save a failing relationship doesn’t mean you have to overlook the problem.

Effectively dealing with all the underlying issues is what truly helps a relationship to grow. True, loving is hurting, but only to a certain extent. If you’re hurting too much in a relationship, ask yourself, “Is this worth fighting for?”

5. Do opposites attract?

Opposites feel refreshing only at the start. In the long run, you’ll realize that it hinders growth. It may give you the impression that you’re for each other because, despite your differences, that’s how you want it to be.

But picture yourself with them years from now. Will your differences not affect you at all? Eventually, it will because your contradictory characteristics will somehow make your relationship unsustainable.

When you try to meet halfway, it's more likely to get hard because you haven’t established a common ground from the start.

6. Does my partner not deserve me at my best if they can't handle me at my worst?

This is a toxic belief. No one deserves to put up with a partner who doesn’t even want to change for the better.

When you’re in a relationship, you have to be open to the idea of making yourself a better partner. You don’t have to be abusive and dramatic while believing that a true partner must accept the real you.

At the same time, you don’t have to stay in a relationship with them if they believe the same thing.

7. Should my partner know what I need even without me saying it?

Knowing someone well doesn’t mean understanding everything about them, including their thoughts, and the same goes for you.

Mind-reading doesn’t work all the time. Instead, communicate directly. Let each other know how you truly feel if there’s a need to. Always remember that genuine couples can talk about everything with each other.

Making a Relationship Work

Similarities bring you together.

Differences make you see your worth.

But at the end of the day, love unites.

There are a lot of other factors that affect the success of your relationship, and it’s not just all about emotions. When your feelings start to take over, you falsely believe that what you’re doing is right.

Human as we are, we’re bound to make mistakes. But if it means compromising a relationship, you need to open your eyes.