Being Kind to Myself.

To myself,

Every New Years, we write all kinds of things about, "new year, new me" and we never follow through. Generally, it's always the same stuff about dieting, exercising, being better at cleaning, etc. but it's never about what you truly need.

This year, I'd like to try something new. Something you truly need in your life. Self-love and Self-care. I know, those words seem foreign to you. However, you could be kinder to yourself. You run your body into the ground day in and day out, taking care of the kids and your husband. Not sleeping the way, you should. Forgetting appointments for yourself, or simply throwing them off because you are too tired to make the effort to go to them, forgetting to shower sometimes, the list could go on.

I'm making you a proposal, a challenge of sorts. Start slow, every day when you wake up and look in the mirror in the bathroom, say three things out loud that you love about yourself. Then, when you're used to doing that, let's kick it up a notch and every night before laying down, repeat.

On to the next step, sleep hygiene. Girl, you have to sleep. You can't keep running on two to three hours of sleep every night and then crashing for twelve hours at least once a week to recover. Set a bedtime routine that works for you and the kids. Let's start by setting alarms for bed. About forty-five minutes to an hour prior to when you want to be in bed. This way, you can start getting the kids bathed and settled down, brush your teeth and theirs during this. Gradually add things you know help you relax and wind down, like a nice warm cup of milk or coco (prior to brushing), sit down with one of your own books, or read to the kids, do your skincare routine, to make you feel fresh and glowing. Settle in, take a few deep breathes and calm your mind. Allow serenity to come over you and don't worry about tomorrow's problems. You got this.

Speaking of calming your mind. Take. Your. Medicine. You struggle with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and Bi-polar disorder. These maniac episodes that happen so often are because you get too busy and don't take out time to properly take care of yourself. You done great in taking that first step in getting help last year. Now, follow through. Set two or three alarms every night as a reminder, right before bed to take your nightly medication. In the morning when you get the oldest up for school, also set a reminder to take your morning medication. I believe in you.

Here is a big one for you, don't be afraid to ask for help. You have an amazing husband who doesn't care to give you a break from the kids, and he knows you need time to reset. An hour or two a day take the time to reset yourself and relax. You can start small and do thirty minutes if you want. I do suggest building it up though to at least an hour. Your husband is in your corner, and he has your back, momma.

Lastly, don't take on too many things at once anymore. You fry your brain doing that and it in turn drags your mind down and makes the anxiety and depression worse. It's okay to take things one at a time and do them individually. Make a schedule for your study sessions of the two courses you are taking now, don't overload yourself on those days though. Remember to take days off and allow your mind to rest and heal so you don't get an overload of information. You're doing amazing in them.

I want to leave you with this. Somethings I love most about you. You have a kind heart, which makes you go above and beyond for those you love. You strive to do your best at everything you set your mind to and usually achieve them. It's okay to have some failures, we live and learn from them. It doesn't make you a failure though. Your laugh and smile when you are being goofy and going off on tangents about characters in your books or shows. It's adorable and you should see the way your eyes light up when you talk about them. Lastly, you are a good mom. Your kids love you and they see no faults in you. The oldest likes to model herself after you, you're her hero. The youngest clings to you, because you are her safe place, and she marvels at how gentle you are with her and how much love you give her.

Remember, you are wonderful and deserve self-love. You are worthy of that.

Love,

Chasity.