Being In Love Vs Loving Someone

The sparks we feel the first time we meet. Life is full of firsts and the feelings are overwhelming and ecstatic. We're lost in the feelings, we fall heel overhead for our lover. We can't escape it but they don't seem to last forever. We say, "I love, you". We say, "I'll never leave you". We put everything on the line for the love we feel and then one day it just fades. We wake up and say, "We fell out of love". We say "It's just not going to work."

This is the problem with what we call love. Love is supposed to last, it's never supposed to die. Yet day after day people seem to be falling out of love. Why is this happening to our relationships? What is going wrong?

Here is a famous quote from the Bible you have probably heard before.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Whether you are Christian or not we find this verse plastered everywhere telling us what love is. It's spoken at weddings and framed in pictures. The difference between this love and the love we seem to express these days is that love is an action. It's something we do and work for. It's not a feeling like we say it is.

We find ourselves saying, "We have fallen out of love", but that is assuming that love is a feeling that is changing within us. If we view love as an action or something we do then we can continue to love our person. We won't be falling out of love anymore. We will be continually learning how to love better every day.

Imagine a life where instead of falling out of love we chose to learn how to love better. There would be less heartbreak and less hurting. Life isn't going to magically get easier but at least we have something to work towards. A way to constantly get better and better someone else.

We are all imperfect humans and will never find the perfect person who never annoys us or upsets us. If we bounce out of relationships when the spark dies then we will live our lives jumping between love highs. Trying to get the next best thing. We have become drug addicts addicted to feeling the spark. We will be stuck chasing fleeting feelings that will slowly fade away no matter how many times we try.

How do we escape this? We must make a conscious choice every day. A choice to be okay with staying even when things are hard. It's like being a bodybuilder. If you give up on the days it's hardest you will never be where you want to be. It's the same thing with a relationship if you jump ship every time it gets hard you will never really love. You will feel something for a blimp in time then be hurt out searching for love again. It's a brutal cycle.

But that doesn't have to be our story. Learn to love as a verb. Go out of your way to show that person you love them. Surprise them with a date even if you aren't in the mood. Give them flowers or random words of affirmation. Change up the ways you show them love as you learn to show love even when you don't feel like it you will begin to fall in love. It will be a love that is rooted in sacrifice instead of feelings and that is something that will last forever.

/

Thanks for reading! If you like my content feel free to leave a like and subscribe so you don't miss out on my next post! If you want to support my work consider leaving a tip or sharing this post with a friend or two! I appreciate all your support it means the world to me! You can also find me on Instagram @rosesashumans

/

You may also like this story