Being a Divorcee Doesn’t Mean She is Available

Never in a million years, growing up with a dream of becoming a writer, did I ever once think that I would end up writing about my own life.

“Love” wish it was that simple like in movies. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a stranger walking right past you and all of a sudden, oblivious to who they are, you feel butterflies in your stomach, and within a matter of seconds manage to visualize your future together and fall in love. 

I wish that the fairytales we grew up watching would warn us or at least give us a hint in advance that incidents such as breakups, betrayals, cheating, abuse, monster-in-laws, infertility, and more exist in the real world. As much I enjoyed seeing the world through pink glasses, the pain I would endure wasn’t worth it.  

For some odd reason, I always believed that two people who fall in love fight for one another and stick together till the end despite challenges and obstacles. But personal experience speaks otherwise. I have also come to observe that some men give up easily:

1. They don’t fight for the person they love. Gentlemen, I want to speak on behalf of a lot of women, who grew up watching “Romeo & Juliet.” We want to see real action and not hear empty promises. Unfortunately, the word promise has lost its meaning nowadays due to its misuse. 

2. Most men fight to conquer a woman’s heart and within a few years, or even months, end up betraying their chosen one. Is the new love trend?

However, it’s important to note that there are great men out there and I have seen beautiful and happy families that one can truly admire. Ladies, if you have such men in your lives then I must say that you are truly blessed and I wish you pure joy from the bottom of my heart. 

After experiencing a downfall in my marriage I thought that being a divorced young woman would mean going back to the same life I used to live pre-marriage. Oh, boy was I wrong!

Not a single man I’ve met, who knew about my status, passed the opportunity to flirt, hit on me, or invite me to dinner, including married men. There was not a single day that I didn’t feel offended. Having the divorce stamp in my passport meant that whenever I was crossing the border, going through any processes which required opening my passport, I was always asked the reason of my divorce “Have you heard of the word etiquette?” I sometimes wanted to yell but refrained myself to avoid any conflicts.

“Happens,” I would simply reply with a smile on my face while voices fought inside, “try living with a cheater who would live off of your money and wouldn’t provide any financial nor moral support. Let’s not forget about the fact that he would sleep till midday and come back after midnight. Could you live with such man? Would you? I don’t think so.” The cacophony of voices inside my head didn’t leave me at ease for years, but who would understand? It is always easier to judge a book by its cover, in this case by the permanent stamp printed in my passport. 

I have come to understand that some men presume that divorced women are deadly in need of comfort and would fall for any sweet word, but let me give you a reality check that a divorced woman does not need someone to pity her. She is an independent-strong woman, who is capable of resolving her own problems. A divorce certificate is not a sign of weakness, but rather illustrates a woman’s courage to leave a toxic relationship and start all over-relying on her strength.