Behind Your Back

Are your ears burning today? Do you get that feeling that perhaps someone is talking about you behind your back? Perhaps you even know for a fact that your work colleagues, friends, partner, or family members, are gossiping to other people about you? It's not a very nice feeling knowing that certain people are talking negatively about you to others, especially when those certain individuals can often be people whom you placed your full trust in. It triggers anger, frustration, and betrayal, within us, because a lot of the gossip about us is quite often untrue, misconstrued, or one-sided. It paints us in a bad light to others, as the people who hear such gossip, ultimately take what they are told to be gospel. What's worse is that gossip is like a highly contagious virus. It gets spread to more and more people, so ultimately what happens is a number of people start believing in this gossip, which begins to impact their perception of us. They can lose respect for us, they can become angry at us, they can become critical of us, and some even get to the point where they unlike and unfriend us. Even when we attempt to clear the air and tell the truth about what was said to them about us, many people refuse to accept it, purely because they don't understand why someone else would tell them such a thing if it weren't true. Sadly, gossip is all too common amongst humankind. No matter if you are someone with massive success, fame, and wealth, or if you are just plain old everyday Joe, who works 9 to 5 at some cruddy job, guaranteed someone is always talking about you behind your back, or as a minimum, they will be judging you. Such is the world we live in unfortunately.

So why do people gossip? What does it even achieve? The simple reason why people gossip about others is because they have nothing else better to do in their lives than talk about other people. It's just the perfect solution for people, in order to continue a conversation, and that's because they have nothing positive to talk about themselves to others. Depending on the type of people you associate and converse with, take the opportunity to gauge the style of conversation you have with them next time around. Identify how much of their conversation is positive, whether it be about themselves or their family members maybe, and where they have obtained success in something, and compare it then to how much of that conversation is gossip about others. Maybe you find that you're actually the one that starts to gossip yourself. The other bad habit that gossipers have is that they will whinge and complain about various aspects of their life, such as how much they hate their job, how much they hate their boss, how they never get anything their way, and how life is so unfair. They do so because they constantly focus on all they don't have in life, rather than focusing on being grateful for what they do have. A great example of gossip would have to be no other than the good old magazines that are available for purchase in the shops. Full page spreads of delving into the private lives of the rich and the famous, with stories purposely written at aiming to uncover any possible dirt or flaws on the celebrities. It's like they want to drag these successful individuals down with the rest of society, and prove they make mistakes, prove they have faults, and prove they aren't all they appear to be in public. How much of these stories are even true? Even if they do hold some truth, these celebrities are still human after all, and of course they will make mistakes and have their own flaws, but people delight in dragging down those who are successful in life, purely because they are envious. These magazines know that people love to read about celebrity gossip though, because it then gives those who read them things to talk about with others, and be enticed to purchase their magazine again. Once again, it's a classic example of people seeking to gain information about others, because they don't have anything decent to talk about themselves.

I have always been a bit of an introvert, so I've never been one to easily engage in conversation. Having said that, when people are conversational themselves, I have no problem interacting more easily and openly. I prefer to disengage from most conversations with people however, because it's either nothing but worthless small talk, or they like talking about other people, and spreading some gossip. I used to be one of those individuals who would talk behind people's backs in the staff room with my work colleagues, more so in response to other staff bringing up the subject with me, but I never thought anything of it, because I only ever believed I was telling the truth about those individuals I was gossiping about. Over the past few years though, I have quickly come to realize how pathetic, destructive, and pointless, gossiping and talking behind people's backs really is. It doesn't achieve anything! Over the past few years also, I have started to become more aware about how much is spoken behind my back about me too. From my wife, to her family members, to one of my friends, and even to my own family members, I have found out quite a lot that has been spoken about me by these individuals, and the majority of it has been completely unfair, unjust, unwarranted, and untrue. As a result, I am being defamed and shamed, criticized, and hated, by those who hear it. In life, we all have choices though. I could choose to seek revenge, and start spreading gossip about all those who have talked behind my back, or I could simply ignore it and focus on things that actually matter in life. What are both choices going to achieve though? If I spread gossip myself, all I am doing is sinking to their level, degrading myself, and ultimately keeping myself as a prisoner in my own negative mindset. If I simply turn my back on what's being said about me though, and just focus on working towards my goals, and a future blessed with success and happiness, then I remain in a positive mindset, and I am being proactive, and not to mention, more mature.

So we know that gossip is not going away, and that there will always be people who will talk behind our back and paint us out to others in a bad light, but what can we do about it? The answer is simple, nothing! We don't need to be worrying about what others think about us, or what gossip they choose to spread about us, because at the end of the day, we know full well what the truth about ourselves really is, and secondly, we shouldn't need to waste time on people in an attempt to justify ourselves. There are far more important things to be focusing on in life than what others think of us, or are talking about us. No matter how much we concern ourselves over it, or how hard we try and prevent it, we are never going to stop people from both judging us, and gossiping about us. Even those close to us will talk about us behind our back, as sad as that may be. It's those who gossip themselves are the ones who need to be concerned, as it highlights their insecurities and lack of positives in their own life to talk about. Today's quote says it all about gossipers, and the fact that if people are talking behind our back, then there's a reason they are behind us. We have better values and behaviors than them. Life is not about trying to impress people, it's about trying to help people, support people, uplift people, and encourage people. Just keep focused on your goals, and keep working on the actions that are progressing you there, because when you achieve the success, happiness, satisfaction, and prosperity, that you set out to achieve, that will really give others something to talk about!

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