Befo I Knew What I Was Feeling
Some moments in life don’t arrive with thunder.
They come quietly. Unexpectedly.
But they change everything.
We met back in 9th grade—let’s call her sunshine.YZ
She was one of my closest school friends, part of our group, part of the laughter in the corridors, and part of the background noise I never paused to notice too deeply. At least, not at first.
For a whole year, we were just that—friends. No hidden glances, no teenage romance brewing in secret. It was innocent, ordinary, and easy.And then came the evening before my birthday.
One of our friends hosted a small party. Everyone was excited. Music was playing, snacks were passed around, conversations flowed like soft rivers.
But sunshine missing .No one panicked. She was probably just late. But then someone’s phone rang.
It was her mother.
She had been in an accident. On the way to the party.
There was a sudden stillness in the room as her mother listed her injuries—head, hand, back, feet. They had rushed her to a hospital far from home.
None of us spoke much after that. The party carried on, but it wasn’t the same. Something had shifted.
The next day was my actual birthday. We celebrated, but quietly. And once the party was done, a few of us decided to visit XYZ, who had just returned home.
I ran ahead of the group as we approached her house, joking around and challenging everyone to a race to the doorbell. A silly habit of mine—I was always the loud one, the “leader” of our group.
I reached first. Rang the bell. Smiled proudly.
The door opened.And there she was.
Sunshine stand the in the simplest outfit. Hair tied loosely. No makeup. Bandages on her forehead and hand. She looked tired. Fragile.
But I couldn’t stop staring.
Not because of the injuries. Not because of sympathy.
Because in that moment, something completely unfamiliar wrapped around my heart.
It felt like standing in front of the ocean—overwhelmed, breathless, and quietly terrified by something too beautiful to process.I couldn’t look away.
The Silent Storm
Inside her house, the others laughed and talked. They shared snacks, cracked jokes, took selfies. But I wasn’t there. Not really.I was just watching her. Silently. Completely pulled in.
I wasn’t used to this. I had been in relationships before—but they were casual, playful, almost forgettable. This felt different. Too real. Too deep. Too soon.
My ex was also in the group that day. She noticed me staring. She noticed the silence I never carried before.
And she said something—half-joking, half-pointed—about how “shocked” I was after sunshine's accident.
Everyone laughed. I forced a smile.
But the truth was, I wasn’t shocked. I was unraveling.
Later that night, I couldn’t hold it in.
I had to tell sunshine how I felt.I couldn’t wait for a perfect moment—I just needed her to know.
So I picked up my phone, opened our chat, and sent the message.
I told her everything.
> “I don’t know what’s happening to me, but today… I felt something when I saw you. Something I’ve never felt before. I don’t even understand it fully yet. But I wanted you to know—I feel something for you. Something real.”
It wasn’t a rehearsed confession.
I didn’t send flowers.
I didn’t stand outside her window with music playing.
Just a message. Sent with shaking fingers and a heart that didn’t know what would happen next.
But what she replied…
that changed everything.
To be continued…
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The Day ‘Stop’ Meant Nothing”
A quiet sign, a loud tragedy, and the cost of a world that won’t pause The stop sign had been there longer than anyone could remember. Its red paint had faded into a tired maroon, edges nicked and scarred by time, winters, and neglect. It stood at the corner like a patient elder, asking—politely, repeatedly—for the world to slow down. Most days, people barely noticed it. Cars rolled through the intersection without fully stopping, drivers glancing left and right just long enough to convince themselves it was safe to keep moving. Cyclists treated it like a suggestion. Walkers passed beneath it, trusting that someone else would obey. The sign did not shout. It did not move. It simply waited, believing in the rules it was made to represent. On the day everything changed, the sky was overcast—one of those gray mornings that feels unfinished, as if the sun forgot to show up. The air carried a cold stillness, the kind that makes sounds sharper and silences heavier. Snow threatened but didn’t fall. Life continued in its ordinary, careless rhythm. And then, somewhere beyond that quiet corner, violence arrived without asking for permission. There are moments in life when you realize how fragile the idea of “normal” really is. How quickly it dissolves. How easily it abandons us. That day, the word stop lost its power—not just on that sign, but everywhere. Gun violence does not announce itself. It doesn’t send warnings ahead of time. It doesn’t respect neighborhoods, routines, or innocence. It crashes into lives like an unwanted storm, leaving behind questions that never find answers. Afterward, people gathered near that intersection. Some stood silently. Others cried. A few argued—about causes, about laws, about what should have been done. The stop sign watched it all, unchanged, unmoved, still doing its job. Still asking the same thing it always had. Stop. But stopping is not something we are good at anymore. We rush through days like they owe us something. We scroll past suffering. We debate tragedies instead of mourning them. We turn real pain into statistics because numbers feel safer than names. Slower than grief is reflection, and reflection requires us to pause—something our world resists with impressive determination. The stop sign is a simple object, but it carries a complex promise: that if we all agree to pause, we can protect one another. That shared responsibility can reduce harm. That rules exist not to control us, but to keep us alive. Gun violence exposes how often we break that promise. After every incident, we hear the same phrases. Thoughts and prayers. This is complicated. Now is not the time. Each sentence is a way of rolling through the intersection without fully stopping. A way of acknowledging the sign without obeying it. Somewhere beneath the surface of all this noise, there are people trying to survive quietly. They don’t always protest. They don’t always speak. They float through the aftermath—traumatized, exhausted, invisible. Like something drifting beneath frozen water, their pain is easy to miss if you aren’t looking for it. Silent survival doesn’t make headlines. The survivors carry it with them to grocery stores, classrooms, and bedrooms where sleep comes reluctantly. They flinch at loud sounds. They measure exits when entering rooms. They learn to live with a background fear that never fully fades. And still, the world asks them to move on. The stop sign remains, doing what it has always done. It does not blame. It does not choose sides. It simply insists that some things require our full attention. That speed is not always strength. That hesitation can be an act of care. But caring takes effort. It requires us to sit with discomfort instead of rushing to conclusions. To listen without planning our rebuttals. To acknowledge that prevention is harder than reaction, and patience harder than outrage. In a culture addicted to momentum, stopping feels unnatural. We mistake motion for progress. We confuse volume with action. We demand quick fixes for slow-burning problems. Gun violence does not thrive in silence alone. It thrives in avoidance. Avoiding hard conversations. Avoiding responsibility. Avoiding the pause that might force us to change. The day “stop” meant nothing was not a single day. It was a culmination. A buildup of moments when we chose convenience over caution, speed over safety, certainty over compassion. That’s what makes the sign so haunting. It reminds us that the tools for prevention are often already in place—but they only work if we agree to honor them. You can repaint a stop sign. You can replace it. You can install brighter lights, louder warnings. But none of it matters if we don’t believe in the message behind it. Stop is not weakness. Stop is not surrender. Stop is not delay for the sake of delay. Stop is a decision. A decision to value life over haste. A decision to notice the people we usually overlook. A decision to treat prevention as seriously as punishment. Long after the crowd dispersed, the intersection returned to its routine. Cars passed. People walked. The sign stood quietly, holding its ground. It did not know about politics or policy. It did not understand arguments. It only understood its purpose. To protect. Maybe that’s what we’ve forgotten—not just how to stop, but why stopping matters. If we paused more often, we might see what’s drifting beneath the surface of our communities: grief waiting to be acknowledged, fear waiting to be eased, resilience waiting to be supported. If we stopped, even briefly, we might hear the quiet voices drowned out by louder ones. We might notice the warning signs before they become memorials. The stop sign will keep standing there, faithful and ignored, until we decide its message is worth following. The question isn’t whether the sign is clear enough. The question is whether we are willing to listen.
By Inayat khana day ago in Humans
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