BE CONFIDENT 3

Confidence can be an elusive entity. Allowing others to dictate our self-worth is a common pitfall, but in reality, it should solely depend on our own perception. The encouraging truth is that you are the one in control, steering the locomotive of self-assurance, and it's poised to embark on a remarkable journey from this very moment.How can one develop confidence in a new job without prior experience in that field? How can someone feel assured in social situations if they have never experienced acceptance before? Is it possible to be confident in a relationship when past relationships have been unsuccessful?At first glance, confidence may seem like an elusive trait that only favors those who already possess it, leaving others feeling inadequate. When you haven't experienced much social acceptance and lack confidence in unfamiliar social settings, it's natural to worry about being perceived as clingy or strange, hindering acceptance from others.Similarly, in relationships, a lack of confidence in intimacy can lead to difficult breakups, uncomfortable phone calls, and even late-night trips to the store for comfort food.Moreover, when it comes to work, it can be challenging to feel confident without prior relevant experience, especially since most jobs require such experience as a prerequisite.If you've consistently experienced failure in life, how can you possibly anticipate becoming a victor? And if you lack the expectation of being a winner, your behavior will reflect that of a loser. Consequently, the cycle of dissatisfaction persists. This predicament can be described as the confidence conundrum. In order to attain happiness, love, or success, one must initially possess confidence. However, to be confident, one requires the foundation of happiness, love, or success. Therefore, it appears that you find yourself trapped in one of two loops: either you are already within a positive and confident cycle, as depicted here. Perhaps you find yourself trapped in a repetitive cycle of failure, resembling something like this. And if you find yourself trapped in the cycle of losing, it can feel nearly impossible to break free.It's akin to a dog endlessly chasing its own tail or Domino's ordering its own pizza. You may spend considerable time scrutinizing every detail, attempting to mentally unravel it all. Yet, just like your waning confidence, you'll likely find yourself right back where you started. But perhaps we've been approaching this issue incorrectly all along. Maybe the enigma of confidence isn't truly an enigma. If we pay careful attention, we can glean valuable insights about confidence simply by observing others. So before you hastily proceed to order that pizza, let's dissect this situation:3 OF 3 THINKING CONFIDENTPRACTICING CONFIDENCE 1. Embrace your passions and pursuits. Now is the perfect time to indulge in that sport or hobby you've always yearned to excel in. By honing your skills, you'll reinforce your innate talent and experience a surge in confidence. You can delve into learning a musical instrument or a foreign language, explore the realm of painting or other artistic endeavors, or embark on exciting projects that captivate your curiosity. - Should you encounter initial setbacks, don't let them dampen your spirits. Remember that learning is a gradual journey, and your focus should be on relishing the small victories and enjoying the therapeutic nature of recreation, rather than striving to be the absolute best. - Consider adopting a hobby that can be enjoyed in a group setting. Discovering individuals who share similar interests can effortlessly lead to forging friendships and nurturing self-assurance. Seek out local communities or associations where you can join forces with like-minded enthusiasts, fostering a sense of camaraderie and support.2. Engage in conversations with unfamiliar individuals. Let's face it, confidence goes beyond mere mindset—it becomes a habit. Ultimately, that's what defines us as human beings. To cultivate confidence, it's essential to engage in actions that exude confidence. One such action is initiating conversations with strangers. Initially daunting, each interaction gradually diminishes any unease you may feel. - Contrary to popular belief, approaching strangers in a non-threatening manner doesn't disturb them—unless, of course, you resemble an unpleasant, malodorous Quasimodo-like member of the KKK. Imagine someone greets you with a friendly "Hey!", smiles, and seeks your opinion on whether they should visit Starbucks or Coffee Bean. How would you feel? Most likely, you would feel positive. Everyone appreciates being the catalyst for someone's day, conversing with others, and embracing spontaneity. By engaging with strangers, you inject a dose of brightness into their otherwise mundane lives. - Don't believe you have opportunities to interact with new people? Have you considered striking up a conversation with the barista at your favorite coffee shop? What about the person working at the checkout counter in your local grocery store? Even the random strangers you pass by on the street can provide opportunities for connection.3. Avoid excessive apologizing. Having the ability to apologize is a commendable trait (unfortunately, something that many people struggle with). However, it is important to exercise caution and apologize only when necessary. Apologizing when you have unintentionally caused harm or inconvenience is considerate. On the other hand, apologizing when you have done nothing wrong may create a sense of subservience and unwarranted guilt. Before reflexively apologizing, take a moment to assess whether the situation truly warrants an apology from you. - Explore alternative approaches. It is possible to convey sympathy or regret without resorting to an apology. For example, if you are concerned about inconveniencing someone, instead of automatically saying "I'm sorry," you could express, "I hope this hasn't caused too much trouble." - Unnecessary apologies can undermine your self-assurance. It is illogical to apologize when you are not at fault because you are not inferior to anyone. Why apologize if you have not committed any wrongdoing? Furthermore, excessive apologies diminish their significance. Being sorry for every little thing implies that you are sorry for nothing at all. Consider treating "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should be expressed with sincerity and thoughtfulness.4. Embrace compliments with grace. Instead of dismissing them with a nonchalant gesture, acknowledge and embrace them wholeheartedly. Remember, you deserve the praise! Engage in eye contact, let a warm smile adorn your face, and respond with a sincere "thank you." Accepting compliments gracefully does not undermine your humility; it demonstrates your politeness and self-assurance. - Consider reciprocating with a compliment. If you find it challenging to accept compliments, try offering one in return once you have acknowledged the kind words directed towards you. This gesture can help you feel that the exchange is balanced and prevents you from feeling overly proud.5. Boost your self-assurance through acts of kindness towards others. Dedicate some time to offer a sincere compliment or perform an unexpected good deed for someone. Not only will you brighten their day, but you'll also enhance your own self-esteem. As you become a beacon of positivity, others will naturally gravitate towards you, fostering a more positive atmosphere. - It's worth noting that many individuals struggle with accepting compliments. However, when you extend a genuine compliment, there's a high likelihood they'll reciprocate. Just ensure your compliment is heartfelt, as an insincere remark like, "I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" may not elicit the best response.6. Let go of those who drag you down. Being confident becomes challenging when you are surrounded by individuals who constantly pass judgment on you. Even if you naturally exude extroversion, enthusiasm, and self-assurance, their presence transforms you into an neglected puppy. It's time to break free from these toxic individuals as if you're quitting a detrimental habit, and do it now. - Prioritize surrounding yourself with people who uplift you and make you feel like the finest version of yourself imaginable. Only in their presence can you truly achieve the personal growth you aspire to and are capable of achieving.7. Take it easy. Many individuals feel uncomfortable in large crowds, and even more people struggle with public speaking. If you happen to find yourself in either of these situations, it's crucial to take a step back and slow down. When we're anxious, our tendency is to rush through things just to be done with them. However, that's not the right approach. It's the first giveaway that you're feeling nervous, and it also reinforces your own awareness of it. - First and foremost, focus on your breathing. Taking short, shallow breaths signals to your body that it's time to fight or flee. So, put an end to that and automatically ease yourself down a notch. Fortunately, understanding human behavior isn't as complex as rocket science. - Secondly, consciously make an effort to decelerate your actions. Imagine a hyperactive six-year-old on a sugar rush—that's you at the moment. Align your movements with your breath. Voila! You'll achieve a state of tranquility.8. Anticipate achievement. A significant portion of life operates on the principles of self-fulfilling prophecies. When we hold the belief that we will fail, our efforts are often half-hearted. Likewise, when we perceive ourselves as inadequate, our actions tend to reflect that perception. However, by fostering an expectation of success, we can manifest it in our lives. Pessimism, on the other hand, can undermine our innate abilities. - At this point, you might be thinking, "I cannot accurately predict the future! Expecting success seems illogical—weren't you just emphasizing logic a moment ago?" Well, indeed, but consider this perspective: you frequently anticipate failure, so why not anticipate success instead? Both outcomes are equally probable in most cases. - Shift your focus towards what you desire rather than fixating on what you wish to avoid.9. Embrace risks. Sometimes, the only way to find a way out is by pushing through. To excel in life, you must confront experiences that compel you to learn. You can't expect instant mastery. If you continue to follow familiar paths, you'll never improve in anything. You must dare to take chances in order to evolve and develop.[9] - Failure is an inevitable part of life. It is bound to happen, but it doesn't define you. What truly matters is your ability to rise again. Setbacks are common to everyone, but not everyone possesses the resilience to bounce back. It is the act of standing up again that nurtures confidence, and failing in the first place is a prerequisite for such growth.[10] - Step outside your comfort zone to gain valuable lessons from experiences and foster greater self-assurance.