Asian Women's Burnout: Finding Your Truth
Navigating Internal Burnout and Cultural Expectations in Asia
Internal burnout comes from striving to be what others want you to be.
One striking commonality is this: Asian people, especially Asian women, are generally prone to this kind of burnout.
They may appear gentle, steady, capable, and deeply considerate, but inside, they often feel exhausted, anxious, and doubtful about their own abilities.
Internal Emotional Dissipation Due to Cultural Differences: My Observations in China, Japan, and South Korea
Sources of Stress for Chinese Girls:
Being raised to be "obedient," "filial," and to "not disappoint your parents."
The standard of success is often not defined by the girl herself, but rather a script already written by family and society: a life of stability, success, and the inability to embarrass oneself.
Many teachers say that everything they do from a young age is designed to please others, without ever asking themselves, "Am I happy?"
Sources of Stress for Japanese Girls:
Society still highly values harmony and suppresses individuality.
Women are subtly trained from a young age to "not be too pushy," "not be too assertive," and to "be as cooperative as possible."
One Japanese teacher put it bluntly: "I'm so used to trying to please others that I don't really know what I want."
Sources of Stress for Korean Girls:
In a highly competitive society, girls are expected to be "perfect." Their appearance, education, and career aspirations are paramount.
The dual expectations of family and society make it difficult for them to truly make choices for themselves.
A Korean language teacher said, "I actually want to study design, but I've never had the courage to say it because it's not 'practical.'"
I've never been prone to mental burnout, largely because I don't care much about social constraints or whether I'm following others' expectations for my life. I'm quite independent. It's this personality trait that allowed me to choose to live abroad and start my own business without hesitation. It's not because I'm braver, but because I've never used "what others think" as my guide.
My guide is: "Am I happy? Am I free?"
How to Resolve Mental Burnout: My Advice
1. Ask yourself, "Is this really what I want?" rather than "What will others think of me if I do this?"
Start practicing with small daily choices: Are you attending this party because you want to, or are you afraid of being rude if you refuse? Is your current job something you love, or is it because your parents think it's "better"?
2. Write down your stress and identify its source.
Take out a notebook or your phone's notes and list all the stress in your mind. Who's causing it? Why does this stress exist? You'll often be surprised to discover that you're carrying so many expectations that aren't even yours.
3. Practice saying "No" and "I need it."
Stop using phrases like, "It's okay, I'll do it." Learn to say, "I'm busy right now. Can we talk next week?" or "I need some time to myself." These are essential phrases to protect yourself and reduce internal stress.
4. Set aside time for "just you."
Give yourself 30 minutes every day—no text messages, no expectations, and only things that make you happy: drawing, taking a walk, listening to music, meditating, or writing. This is time for your energy to flow.
5. Create your own definition of success.
Success isn't about making the most money or having the most stability, but about living freely, having choices, and living at a pace you enjoy. The world isn't short of standard answers; what's lacking is "your own answers."
I love this quote: "You weren't born to meet others' expectations. You were born to live your truth."
Mental exhaustion isn't about being overly sensitive; it's about society training us from a young age to "suppress ourselves and accommodate others." But you have a choice: starting today, slowly let go of the assumptions about "what others expect you to be" and start asking yourself: "Who do I want to be?"
When you begin to be yourself, energy will stop draining away and begin to flow back to support you.
Thank you for reading!
About the Creator
Emily Chan - Life and love sharing
Blog Writer/Storyteller/Write stores and short srories.I am a writer who specializes in love,relationships and life sharing
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