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Are You Just a Placeholder in Your Relationship? 10 Signs You’re Being Used

If your partner isn’t fully invested, you might be just a temporary option. Learn the warning signs and how to take control of your love life.

By Milan MilicPublished 10 months ago 4 min read

Have you ever felt like you're in a relationship, but something fair appears... off? Possibly your partner keeps you around, but they do not make you feel esteemed. It's nearly as if you're fairly filling a space in their life until somebody "way better" comes along. Ouch, right? If this sounds recognizable, you may be a placeholder in your relationship.

Being a placeholder implies you're not your partner's priority—you're fair to their reinforcement arrangement. Let's be genuine: You deserve way more than that. So, how can you tell on the off chance that you're in a placeholder relationship? Here are ten evident signs and, most imperatively, what you'll be able to do around it.

1. They Keep You at Arm's Length

One minute, they shower you with consideration; the next, they act far off. It's like they have one foot in and one foot out of the relationship.They might comfort you when they're forlorn but vanish once you require them. If your partner isn't shown reliably, you may be helpful for them.

What to Do:

Convey your desires. In case they're unwilling to meet you midway, it can be time to move on.

2. They Avoid Defining the Relationship (DTR)

"What are we?" If that address makes your partner awkward, or they evade it through and through, it's a ruddy hail. An individual who cares around you won't be anxious to characterize the relationship—they'll need to claim you, not keep you within the gray zone.

What to Do:

If they refuse to commit, they’re showing you where you stand. Don’t waste your time waiting for clarity that may never come.

3. You’re Not a Priority—Only an Option

Do you feel like they only make plans with you when their schedule is empty? Maybe they constantly cancel on you for “something important.” A person who genuinely values you may make time for you—not fit you in when it's helpful.

What to Do:

Stop making them a priority if they only see you as an option. Match their energy.

4. They Keep Their Life Separate from Yours

Have you met their friends? Their family? If not, that’s a bad sign. When somebody sees you as long-term, they integrate you into their world. If they keep you isolated, they might not see you as an enduring part of their life.

What to Do:

Ask why you haven’t met their loved ones. If they keep making excuses, reconsider if this relationship is truly progressing.

5. They’re Still Stuck on Their Ex

Do they frequently bring up their ex? Compare you to them? Keep in touch with them a little too much? If so, you might just be a rebound or a way to fill the emotional void they haven’t healed from.

What to Do:

On the off chance that they aren't over their past, they aren't prepared for a future with you. You merit to be someone's first choice, not an adapting instrument.

6. You Do All the Emotional Labor

If you're continuously the one checking in, starting discussions, and making an exertion, whereas they fair coast through, it's a problem. A genuine relationship may be a two-way road, not a one-person show.

What to Do:

Stop overextending yourself. If they don’t step up, let them go.

7. They Don’t Plan for the Future with You

If talks about the future make them uncomfortable or they never include you in their long-term plans, they might not see you as a permanent part of their life.

What to Do:

A partner who’s serious about you will envision a future together. If they don’t, consider walking away before you get more attached.

8. They Only Show Affection on Their Terms

Do they only give you attention when they want something—whether it’s physical, emotional, or financial? If their affection is conditional, it’s not love. It’s convenience.

What to Do:

Pay attention to patterns. If they only show up when they need something, you’re being used.

9. Your Gut Tells You Something’s Off

Sometimes, you just know. If you constantly feel uneasy or suspect that you’re just a temporary fixture in their life, trust your instincts. Your intuition is powerful.

What to Do:

Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

10. They Wouldn’t Fight to Keep You

If you walked away today, would they chase after you or simply move on? If you know deep down they wouldn’t fight to keep you, then why are you fighting so hard to stay?

What to Do:

Know your worth. Don’t settle for someone who wouldn’t miss you if you left.

Conclusion

Being in a placeholder relationship is draining—it takes off you feeling concealed and underestimated. But here's the thing: You are not a backup plan. You're commendable for your love, exertion, and commitment. On the off chance that your partner isn't giving you that, it's time to stop holding up and begin choosing for yourself.

Cherish ought never to feel like a holding-up diversion. If you recognize these signs in your relationship, take action. You deserve a cherish that's genuine, responsive, and satisfying. So, ask yourself—are you fair a placeholder, or are you prepared to be someone's need?

Love should feel real! 💕

#RelationshipAdvice #LoveAndRelationships #DatingRedFlags #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #RelationshipGoals #BreakupRecovery #HealthyRelationships #SelfLoveJourney #EmotionalWellbeing #DatingTips #LoveLife #PersonalGrowth #KnowYourValue #RedFlagsInRelationships

advicefact or fictionhow tofriendship

About the Creator

Milan Milic

Hi, I’m Milan. I write about love, fear, money, and everything in between — wherever inspiration goes. My brain doesn’t stick to one genre.

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