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Are You Even a Priority? 11 Painful Signs You’re Not a Top Concern in Your Relationship

Discover the subtle (and not-so-subtle) clues that you're just an option, not the main event in your partner's life.

By Milan MilicPublished 9 months ago 4 min read

Are You an Option or a Priority? 11 Honest Signs You're Not Their Top Concern

Let’s be real—nothing stings quite like feeling invisible in your relationship. You know the drill: they're continuously “too busy,” plans drop through, and by one means or another, you've gotten to be more of a comfort than a consistent. In case you're pondering whether you're genuinely needed in your relationship or just a placeholder, you're not alone. We've all been there—hanging on to blended signals, trusting activities will at long last coordinate the words.

But here's the cold truth: love shouldn't feel like you're auditioning for attention. If your gut’s been whispering that you might not be a priority, it’s time to stop ignoring it.

Let’s break down the 11 glaring signs you’re not a priority in your relationship—no sugarcoating, just the truth. And yes, we’ll throw in some analogies and relatable metaphors to make it all hit home.

1. You're Always the Backup Plan

Ever notice how your plans only happen when their original plans fall through? That’s not a coincidence—it’s a red flag in bold, blinking neon lights. You’re not the first call. You're the "just in case" option, like an old pizza place they order from only when Uber Eats crashes.

2. Their Phone Gets More Attention Than You Do

You're pouring your heart out, but they’re scrolling TikTok or texting their group chat. If you’re competing with a screen—and losing—something’s wrong. You deserve more than background noise attention.

Think of it like being at a concert and realizing you're the, as it were, one not dancing—yeah, that's forlorn.

3. Your Needs Are Constantly on the Back Burner

A healthy relationship is approximately give and take, not provide and allow and donate... until you're candidly depleted. In case your needs are continuously "too much" or met with pardons, that's not love—it's comfort camouflaged as commitment.

Relationships shouldn't feel like holding up in line at the DMV—long, disappointing, and full of promises that are guaranteed.

4. They Make Time for Everyone... Except You

Let’s be honest: we make time for what matters. If your partner has hours to game, hang with friends, or work overtime but “can’t find” 20 minutes to call you, you’re not the priority. You’re the afterthought.

5. You're the Only One Putting in Effort

You're always initiating texts, planning dates, and trying to fix things while they coast through like a tourist in a town they don’t plan on staying in. Love isn’t a solo sport—it takes two. If you're doing all the heavy lifting, it’s time to drop the weight.

Metaphor alert: You're building a house while they’re just decorating the porch.

6. Your Achievements Are Brushed Off

You land a promotion or finally complete that creative project, and they respond with a half-hearted “cool.” Ouch. Someone who prioritizes you will celebrate your wins like they’re their own. If they can't hype you up, they might not be emotionally invested.

7. Plans With You Are Always “Tentative”

They never confirm anything. Your dates are full of "maybe," "I'll let you know," or "depends on how I feel." That’s not flexibility—it’s indecision fueled by disinterest. If someone truly wants to be with you, they don’t schedule you like a dentist appointment they’re dreading.

8. They Only Show Up When They Need Something

Need support, a ride, a favor, or a shoulder to cry on? Suddenly, you're their #1 speed dial. But when you’re in need? Crickets. That’s not love—it’s opportunism wrapped in charm.

You’re not a partner to them. You’re more like an emotional vending machine.

9. You Feel More Alone With Them Than Without Them

Here's the genuine kicker: being in a relationship ought to make you feel secure, seen, and upheld. In case you're continually feeling forlorn, second-guessing your worth, or rationally depleted, it's not love—it's enthusiastic oust.

10. They Gaslight You for Asking for Basic Attention

Ever bring up your sentiments, as it were, to be told you're “overreacting,” “needy,” or “too sensitive”? That's classic passionate control, my friend. You're not inquiring about a trip to the moon—you're inquiring to be treated like you matter.

In case communicating your needs feels like walking on eggshells, those eggshells are shaping a design. And it isn’t pretty.

11. Your Intuition Is Screaming... and You're Still Ignoring It

You know. Deep down, you know. That little gut feeling isn’t just paranoia—it’s your internal alarm system flashing warning signs. And no matter how many excuses you make or red flags you paint green, that feeling lingers.

Think of your intuition like your relationship’s GPS. If it keeps saying “recalculate,” maybe you’re on the wrong road.

So, What Now?

If you're gesturing along to most of these signs, it could be time for a few genuine conversations with yourself and your partner. A healthy relationship ought to feel like a delicate place to arrive, not a consistent source of push or self-doubt.

You deserve to be someone's need, not a fair alternative they keep on standby. Love isn't about amazing gestures—it's within the little, ordinary activities that say, “You matter to me.”

On the off chance that they're not willing to meet you midway (or at all), maybe it's time you strolled the complete distance—right into a life where you're the need.

Final Thoughts: Don't Settle for the Sidelines

Cherish shouldn't feel like a holding-up amusement. On the off chance that you're continuously puzzled about pondering where you stand, chances are you're not standing on strong ground. Prioritize yourself. Set the standard. And remember: someone out there will treat you like the main character, not just a background extra.

#RelationshipAdvice #ToxicRelationships #KnowYourWorth #SelfLoveJourney #DatingRedFlags #NotAPriority #EmotionalNeglect #BreakupClarity #LoveYourselfFirst #UnhealthyRelationshipSigns #ModernLoveTruths #RelationshipStruggles #RelationshipHelp #TrustYourGut #KnowTheSigns

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About the Creator

Milan Milic

Hi, I’m Milan. I write about love, fear, money, and everything in between — wherever inspiration goes. My brain doesn’t stick to one genre.

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Comments (2)

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  • Rohitha Lanka9 months ago

    This is one of the best posts, and your exceptional writing skills. Good luck.

  • Esala Gunathilake9 months ago

    Oh. You shared gold.

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