Are There Correct Ways to Teach Children the Difference between Good and Bad?

How do you teach your child the difference between good and bad? It is a difficult task because, in the first years of life, children cannot acquire morally, ethically, and intellectually the abstract meanings of good and evil.

They will simply imitate the behaviors observed around them - so initially exactly what you and others around the child do is the basis for what he will do.

Children cannot understand the value of good deeds in themselves, at the age of three or four they cannot analyze the cause-effect relationship either, therefore, their behaviors are not thought out, they are not perceived by the awareness of their result for themselves and others.

Learning between right and wrong must be approached concretely, in the child's understanding - you can't expect him to understand why something is wrong just because you tell him it's wrong!

So how do you teach your child the difference between right and wrong?

The example around. As mentioned, parents are the first and most important role models, so it is important how you act and react around them.

Refrain from exposing him, for example, to a couple's quarrels. You will feel the tension around you but even worse, you will learn that screaming or throwing objects is normal behavior! So, effective control around the child and his exposure only to the behaviors you want to learn is necessary.

Family environment. Through interaction, the child observes those around him and attributes his behaviors to them. He does not yet know how to select, analyze, and criticize for himself what is good and what is bad - whatever he finds interesting and will try to imitate.

Therefore, try to give him a harmonious, calm family environment, without screams, swearing, tension. Instead, get used to a warm environment that provides safety and stability.

Interplay. Once the little one goes to daycare, kindergarten, he interacts with other children and can learn unpleasant behaviors. You can't control all the child's interactions, of course, but if you notice a new word in the vocabulary or behavior that seems unacceptable to you, ask him where he got it from and try to explain that it's not good to use it - try to use it. give a reason, because, without reason, he will not understand!

Fairy tales. How to teach your child the difference between good and bad - stories are very effective. From an early age, read him bedtime stories, stories in which it is clear who is good and who is bad, which conveys certain values: kindness, friendship, courage, fidelity, family. How do you teach your child the difference between good and bad?

Precisely through these stories - after reading them, discuss them with him. Ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection. Highlight what he missed and explain why the character didn't do well or vice versa! Teach him to critique the characters' behaviors and to distinguish between accepted and valuable actions and bad ones.

Creativity. Once you have started working on storytelling and your child has begun to make it easy to distinguish who is good and who is bad, stimulate their creativity and ethical judgment through imagination. Look for some stories he hasn't heard, read half of them, and work together on the continuation and end of the stories.

It will be clearer to you, depending on what the child thinks the characters will do and how it ends if he understands the difference between good and bad behavior. Help him finish the story with questions: the princess helped the frog, what does she deserve to receive? The thief stole the princess's tiara, what happens to the thief?

Model. From an early age, the child takes on behavioral patterns from the shows, the cartoons he watches. So, pay close attention to what programs you are watching, watch a few episodes to make sure there are no harmful behaviors you could learn (even the beloved cartoons with Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, Cow & Chicken, Tom & Jerry, The Flinstones - even these show negative behaviors that, however, seem funny: "what would I throw with a brick in the window/puppy, etc.?"). Get DVDs with harmless drawings, which clearly show certain values, as long as the child is at the age of imitation - up to six or seven years.

Approval and disapproval. You can't expect a child to value good deeds on their own, cognitively and ethically. He does not think in abstract terms, but as concretely as possible. So, learn it first, with approval, appreciation when it does something right - smile, hug, kiss.

But also with disapproval by behavior when he does something considered bad. You don't have to tell him "you're bad" many times - you'll make him think he's ready! No, rather use disapproval with gestures (nods, sighs, facial expressions - in contrast to facial expressions and gestures of affection when it's good) and tell her "it's not good when you do this because…". Never forget a motivation, why "it's not good" - whatever comes to mind.

"Another's shoes." Young children do not stop to think (and at an early age are not even capable) of the effects of their actions. He will throw something just to see what is happening, he will only scream to see the effect, he will pull a cat by the tail just to see what he is doing, he will hit another child just out of curiosity or out of uncontrolled emotion.

So teach him to think in advance about the effects of these actions - and how he does them just to find out, you tell him. For example: "If you hit another child or an animal, it hurts, just as it hurt you when you fell last week.

Do you want to hurt him because of you? Do you want to be hurt like that? " Once he clearly understands that a certain action makes a person or animal suffering, it is normal that he will stop it. If he continues, it means that he is facing some unresolved negative emotions, so try to find out how he feels.

Reward. How do you teach your child the difference between good and bad? It was said: children learn through examples and explanations as concrete as possible. So, in addition to approval through gestures of affection, accustom him to rewards for good deeds!

You can't expect him to be happy just because he did well - he has not yet developed a sense of morality. So, not very often, but regularly, so that he knows that the effect of a good deed is direct, offer him rewards, telling him why: "you are allowed to eat cake because you were good when…".

Game. When he plays, you can watch his game - because the game shows the children who have learned about the world about good and bad actions. When you see him playing with dolls, ask him: "What is doll X doing now? Why is he doing this?

Is that okay? " Notice what actions and events he invents in the doll's life: this shows you how he feels and what happened to him. Encourage him to make scenarios, in which he separates the good and the bad from the concrete and to offer himself rewards and punishments to the good and the bad dolls.

The game of a mother or father with a doll can be perfect for the little one to put himself in the position of criticizing for himself what good or bad the "child" has done and to give him what he deserves. Encourage him for such games and play with him - if he wants you!