A vulnerable gift

Not long ago, I found myself sitting around with a group of friends playing word games - where each person used one word to honestly describe the other person in the group. Everyone moves around until they are "worded" by someone else.

It's fun and exciting until you're tagged with something that you don't necessarily see as positive. The word that keeps coming to my mind is: guard.

I see. This makes sense. It's hard for me to open up to people.

I know what's keeping me protected is a bad experience in the past. I'm not one to dwell on the past or hold grudges, but I've developed certain defenses to protect myself during my journey.

But now I long to be more vulnerable, more willing to accept my emotions. Because I know that the source of life is genuine, authentic, meaningful connections with other people. This requires lowering our guard.

This self-exploration led me to think about the broader question:

What does it mean to feel something?

What are emotions?

Why do we become happy, sad, crazy, depressed, excited, or giddy?

I've come to the conclusion that emotions are abstract interpretations of how we react to the world around us. They are not conscious choices or decisions. They don't have to be dissected or even understood.

But if we want to connect with others, we have to acknowledge and share them.

Feelings and emotions are the invisible cords that run through our lives -- connecting our brains to our hearts. But they are also invisible ropes from me to you, from you to me.

That's why despite our superficial differences, we can still relate to each other. This is why we are able to empathize with people who seem to have nothing in common with us. That's how we connect with everyone around us.

Because emotions are universal.

But while these feelings are a natural part of being human, it's not easy for all of us to express them.

Acknowledging and expressing emotions makes us vulnerable to judgment. This poses a risk because sometimes the judgment is positive and sometimes it is negative.

As a result, we may ignore our emotions in order to protect ourselves. We may refuse to talk about our feelings with others to avoid their judgment. If we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we don't have to deal with the possibility of negative experiences.

But we also fail to truly connect with each other.

So I made a conscious decision that I wanted to be free enough to love, free enough to feel, free enough to take risks. I want to live longer.

Here are some ways to change my tendency to err on the side of caution. These changes have opened up a whole new world for me!

1. Have positive expectations

Approach emotion and vulnerability with the expectation of happiness. As a firm believer in James Allen's book, "As a Thinking Man," I know that our life experiences stem from what we expected to experience in the first place.

If I constantly tried to protect myself from potential pain, I would lose any chance of experiencing pleasure in those moments. I need to set myself free to have a pleasurable experience that may stem from my vulnerability.

2. Find common ground

Recognize similarities in others rather than differences. It's easy to isolate yourself based on the perception that everyone is different and they just don't understand you and your world.

The truth is that we are all human, and although differences may affect how we look, the heart of the matter is that we are all very similar in our pursuit of love and acceptance. Allowing myself to express my feelings has allowed me to connect more deeply with others and gain more meaningful connections.

3. A beautiful expression of life

Realize that feelings and emotions are beautiful expressions of life. Who wants to be around someone who has a hard time being approachable? No man or woman.

I looked at myself from the outside and realized that to have more than superficial relationships, I had to let other people into my life on an emotional level. Vulnerability is one of the most beautiful aspects of being human -- it's what makes each of us truly alive.

4. Live in the moment

By learning to live in the present, I am able to distinguish between a situation in the past and a situation in the present.

Just because old friends, family, or acquaintances may have let me down a long time ago doesn't mean my friends today will do the same. It's not fair to the people in my life right now to constantly project on them the negative expectations that others have done.

I remind myself that every day, every hour, every moment is new and unique. I don't have to be afraid of being hurt just because it happened in the past. I can be there now and experience the joy of my emotions today.

Leave word

I encourage you to put yourself at risk of vulnerability so that you can experience a new dimension of life, connect with others in ways that you only knew as a child, begin to see opportunities that you never saw, and begin to understand that a life without feelings and emotions really is no life at all.

I hope you can do what I did -- confront your fears of vulnerability, allow yourself to feel deeply, unconditionally, and without judgment, and make real connections with others by sharing those emotions. Finally, it will help you experience a truly living world.