A Psychologist About the Biggest Communication Mistake That Even Very Smart People Make

The most amazing and strange paradox of our time is the inability of people to communicate. In such a way that everything is clear to everyone and as open as possible.

This is the question that Professor Stephen Pinker raises, stressing that just knowing and understanding the mechanisms of the communication process is not enough to make it efficient and productive.

Of course, in theory, everything is simple and clear. But the social, cultural, and economic prejudices with which we, as they say, are loaded to the brim cannot be ignored.

This paradox, called by Pinker the "curse of knowledge," is simple: we tend to use our speech or dialects to propagate our ideas; we spread available terms and knowledge, literally imposing our position. Our knowledge seems so obvious to us that we are convinced that the rest know about it.

Good communication is the result of good self-knowledge. When you know yourself well enough, your thoughts are better structured, the words are better chosen to shape the thoughts, in a way that is easier for the interlocutor to understand.

Communication is what we convey to others about ourselves, about what we think, what we think. The way we communicate reflects our feelings and speaks about us in its entirety.

For this reason, there are people who have a kind of communication that is easy to follow, well-structured, intelligible, that transmits certain emotions.

People who authentically express what they feel, what they represent, express in words emotionally charged messages, with special motivational energy, are able to inspire and arouse intense feelings in the interlocutors.

What is certain is that communicating and seeking the truth requires an integrated approach. The topic of the discussion should be divided into fewer complex blocks so that everyone can contribute to the discussion. After all, a single person can never know everything and anything, no matter what IQ they have.

And this is the main difficulty: the modern education system with "its experts in a particular field" suggests that a person can know and reason with complete confidence. As a result, so-called experts simply bombard the listeners' brains with complex terms and concepts, which is even more confusing.

So how do we overcome this "curse"? Professor Pinker offers the following methods:

1. Test your message

Before you try to convince others of anything, try to start convincing and believing yourself.

If any of the statements are incomprehensible or unacceptable to you, then you will immediately understand what the weak link is in the arguments presented. Another way to test your "speech" is to talk to an audience that deliberately shares your beliefs and can help you convey them as effectively as possible.

By the way, in the Victorian era, writers were invited to read their works to ordinary people before publishing them. Thus, it could be ensured that their romance will be close and interesting for absolutely everyone, regardless of occupation.

2. Choose your words and phrases carefully when trying to convey your thoughts

The clearer you speak, the better your chances of success. Choose the words so that they are very clear in line with the essence, clear, intelligible, and appropriate. And believe me, this is not difficult at all.

3. Take a break

One of the many ways to connect with others is to stop and rethink everything until you reach a consensus with yourself. Do not exaggerate in your desire to convince someone, because you will get a diametrically opposite result.

This is explained very simply: the more nervous and upset you become, the more incomprehensible your explanations and position will become. As a result, the target audience is finally confused.

4. Edit - more, write - less

This is the last recommendation and the cornerstone of good communication. No matter how quickly you formulate and write down your thoughts, do not rush to bring them to the public immediately.

What is certain is that well-edited content is, in fact, content that has passed all "verification levels". After all, corrections and additions are an exercise that helps calculate all the pitfalls of your idea.

Therefore, good and competent editing can make a big difference in the long run. And that means they'll hear you. They will understand. You will reach other people's minds and hearts!