A New Beginning With Baxter

Baxter came into my life a year after the passing of my previous pet.I had been looking for a westie and a possible match popped up at one of our local shelters, so I wanted to look at her. She turned out to be a very nervous, shy dog who stayed in the back of the kennel. Baxter (called Bart at this time) was in the next kennel. He approached the gate, eager and friendly, wanting affection. After a few minutes of observing him, I decided to take him out for a walk to better assess his potential. After spending some time with him, I decided to bring him home. The paperwork was signed and the journey of a lifetime began.

His first night in his new home became memorable when I discovered one of his special “talents.” I stepped outside to take a phone call, and unbeknownst to me, he slipped out as well. His response was to run as hard and as fast as he could. My mother had to chase him along the major highway in the dark before finally recovering him. No matter what I did to change his behavior, Baxter remained a runner for the rest of his life. He could not be trusted outside without a leash. Throughout the years I had him, chasing him down after he escaped the house became a regular occurrence. More than once, he had to be retrieved from the pond near my house or visit the neighbors, scratching at their doors to announce his presence.

As I learned more about him, it became obvious he had suffered severe abuse or neglect during his life. He came to me with a jaw, which showed signs of having been severely broken and healed I also realized he had lived for an extended time and had been fending for himself, surviving on what he could scavenge from the streets. Animal control picked him up and brought him to the shelter, but no one ever came to claim him. This time of living on his own left permanent impacts on his mental and physical health.

Despite being in a safe, and stable home, he retained some habits developed from desperation. He could never be trusted to “free feed”. When food was available, he had an impulse to eat all he could before it was taken away.

Considering his past experience of street life, Baxter had very few bad habits or behaviors. He tolerated other animals, mostly existing alongside them without interacting with them. It became clear he had never had a bed of his own, or toys. In his time with me, he came to treasure and adore both. His toys were never chewed up or destroyed. Some of those toys were some of his original toys when he died.

“Veggie-Terrier”

Another quirk he acquired in his domestic life was a love for vegetables. My family has always grown a garden to enjoy fresh tomatoes, squash and cucumbers. The vegetables were picked in the garden and brought into the house in white, plastic five-gallon buckets and none of the other pets had even given them a second look. Baxter thought the veggies were a buffet and he liked to choose something from the bucket which he would sneak away to eat. For this reason, we would lovingly refer to him as a “Veggie-terrier”. Cucumbers were his favorite and he would steal squash, only to destroy them, and leave the mess behind.

Tea-Time Treat

Another unique habit Baxter acquired was what we called the “Tea Time Treat”. We are big tea drinkers in my house. We have a corner of the kitchen where the various kinds of tea we drink arranged to make preparing our drinks. Baxter would hear someone in the kitchen about to make tea and he would make a bee line for the kitchen. On his own, he would sit up like a prairie dog and wait patiently and quietly for the treat he knew was coming. Visitors would not be aware of the routine and would be surprised and entertained by this cute trick. He was never trained to do this; it was something he started on his own and something he did without fail until his death.

Final Days

The final days of any pet are never easy. Elderly pets present challenges, some similar to their puppy days and others never experienced before. Baxter developed dementia in the last six months of his life, and it progressed quickly. He started doing things he had never done before, he started to exhibit aggression and confusion. As part of our nightly routine, Baxter would sleep on the foot of my bed while I was reading. For reasons which will never be understood, he became aggressive toward me when I would start to move him off the bed, into his bed, snarling, growling and trying to bite me. In addition to this, his sleep patterns changed and he would not sleep at night. He would pace all night, unstable to settle down.

In his elder days, Baxter developed a severe fear of any kind of stormy weather. When he knew a storm was coming, he would take shelter in my bathroom, behind the door. As this fear intensified, he would try to climb into the bathtub, often getting himself stuck. This behavior became more frequent and very difficult to manage.

It was heartbreaking to watch the decline and struggle he went through. I had to decide to end his suffering. He was a faithful and loyal companion to me, and I did not want him to suffer unnecessarily because of my selfish desire to avoid him leaving me. I struggled to know when it was time, debating every day if his suffering was greater than their enjoyment of life. There are no hard or fast answers in this situation.

(Not So Happily)Ever After

In the same way his early years with me were an exciting and fun adventure, my final days with Baxter were a gut-wrenching and agonizing nightmare. It was pure agony to watch my best friend, my constant companion and center of my world disappear and be replaced by a confused, often aggressive creature. When you welcome a pet into your life, you never think about how hard the end will be. During the days and years between the beginning and end, you never think one day they won’t be there. You never think you will have to live without them or how to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and figure out what your life will look like without them in it.

I’m still trying to figure out how to live life without him. Nearly three years later, and I still get the wind knocked out of me in an instant when a flood of memories slams into me. It’s still hard for me to talk about him without a lump rising up in my throat. Even writing this, I’ve had to walk away from the computer because tears blurred my vision and made it impossible to keep typing. As long as I live, I will never get over this loss. I will always carry it as a heavy, hollow place in my heart. No animal could ever take his place or rise to the level he achieved.

Once you have experienced a special pet, who changes your life, no other pet you have after ever gives you the same feelings and emotions. You may have other pets but you don’t feel the same way about them. They don’t bond with you in the same way and it just never feels the same. There will always be a part of you that never heals. I have been privileged to share my life with several remarkable animals. I consider myself blessed to have so many special memories from these precious little souls. Baxter was one of those special ones you only experience once in a lifetime. He was an unexpected gift at a time when I needed exactly what he had to offer.

That’s all for now, I’m just here trying to change the world one story at a time!

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© Sarah Tagert 2025