A Love Well Kept

Sadie had it coming for her husband, Lonnie, when he got home. Every time she thought about what she had just found, her blood boiled. How could he do this? After 25 years of marriage! She had been a good wife – not perfect, but good. She gave their marriage everything she had, through the good and the bad. And there were some really bad times.

As soon as Lonnie walked in the door and saw the look on her face, he knew he was in trouble. He did a quick mental scan of the past few days but couldn’t come up with anything that could have made her so angry.

“Okay, what have I done now?”

Sadie didn’t say a word. Instead she picked up the little black notebook she had found in his underwear draw and threw it at him.

“You tell me what you’ve done!”

Lonnie recognized the time worn notebook right away. He bent to pick it up, and saw that a page had been torn out. Then it made sense. There was only one entry that could have made her so angry.

“Sadie, it’s not what you think. Let me explain.”

“You’d better and it better be good.”

Before he could begin, she erupted in a tirade.

“How could you do this to me? Really? Have I been that bad a wife? I’ve been faithful to you, Lonnie. And, believe me, there were times when I could have stepped out on you, but I didn’t. Why? Because we took vows. Vows, Lonnie. Do you remember that or did you conveniently forget? I knew it. I sensed something recently. A little late coming from work every now and then. Talks on the phone after I had gone to sleep. You promised to love me! Only me!”

Lonnie remained silent.

“What have you got to say for yourself?”

“Are you finished?”

Sadie folded her arms and started tapping her foot.

“I don’t believe you. I know this looks bad, but it’s not what you think. Where’s the page you tore out?”

“Why?”

“Just let me have it, and I’ll explain everything.

Sadie retrieved the crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him.

Lonnie unfolded it and began reading the words he never expected his wife would find.

“One day we’ll be together again. 11/24/2019. Love, Angela.”

Again, before he could explain, Sadie hurled more accusations.

“So that date – November 24. It’s Just a couple of weeks away. What? Were you planning to leave me for her that day?”

Just then the doorbell rang.

“Nobody’s home!” Sadie shouted. “Go away!”

“Wait a minute. You don’t even know who it is. It could be something important.”

“More important than our marriage?”

“Please, don’t be dramatic. If you’ll just let me explain, you’ll realize you were upset for no reason at all.

The doorbell rang again.

“I’ve got to see who it is.”

Lonnie returned a minute later with FedEx envelope in hand.

“What’s that?”

“Sadie, if you’ll give me a minute to open it, we’ll both know.”

She walked over to Lonnie and snatched the envelope away from him.

“Woman, are you crazy? What’s gotten into you? I said I’d open it. You need to calm down.”

She ignored him and hastily opened it. Inside was a smaller envelope and a note. She opened the note and read it.

“Dear Sadie. You and I have never met, but your husband and I have been friends since college. Actually we were much more than friends. But that’s in the past. Today, I am telling you this because I am close to death. The doctors say I only have a couple of weeks to live. The cancer is kicking my butt and I’m getting weaker. So I’ll keep this short. In the envelope is a check for $20,000. Lonnie can explain the amount and why I’m leaving it for you. I know you’ll do some good with it and will do good by him because of the type of woman he’s described you to be. Take care, and enjoy your gift of life. Fondly, Angela.”

Sadie quickly opened the smaller envelope and looked at the check. None of this was making any sense.

“Okay, go ahead. Explain this, Lonnie.”

“Before we met in college, Angela and I had been madly in love with each other. We had plans to marry one day and have 3 kids and a big house in the suburbs with a huge yard where our golden retriever would be able to run freely.” He reflected for a moment.

“Will you get to the point? What happened?”

“She had a dream. I told her she was crazy, that it was just a dream. There was always this mystical aura about her, sometimes I felt like she had been here before.”

“Dream? What kind of dream?”

“It’s gonna sound crazy, but she had a dream she died on her 45th birthday.”

“So, what does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s the reason we broke up. She decided that based on that dream, she didn’t want to get married or have any kids because she didn’t want them to have to live through the pain of losing her at such a young age, and so she decided she would devote her life to what she loved doing the most – art. She is an amazing artist. Anyway, she decided to drop out of school and pursue her passion. It was hard to say goodbye. She broke my heart. But she said she wanted me to be with someone who could give me a full life. I couldn’t talk her out of it.”

Lonnie started sticking the torn page back where it belonged. “She knew I carried this book to write down important thoughts. Precious memories. So before she left, we went on a picnic down by the lake. She asked me to hand her my, what she called “important ideas book”. That’s when she wrote that.”

“So you two never saw each other or spoke to each other again after she left?”

Lonnie was silent for a moment. He hoped his wife could handle the truth. It was so innocent.

“Well, actually, we’ve been talking the past few weeks. After she was diagnosed with cancer, she got in touch with me.”

“Did you go see her?”

Lonnie struggled again with whether to tell her the truth. Sadie wasn’t the jealous type but he also knew she might have difficulty understanding why he kept their reconnection a secret.

“Just recently.”

“When? Where!”

He could feel her anger and her pain.

“In the last couple of weeks. When she was admitted to hospice care. I visited her a few times. Read to her. We reminisced about the past – the dreams we once shared.”

Sadie walked over to the livingroom window, staring out, seeing nothing.

“Sadie, I – “

“Please. Just don’t say anything right now. I don’t know how or what I should feel. Anger? Rage? Sadness? Jealousy? All these mixed emotions. And I’m equally baffled about the money. Why is she giving this to me? What – is this payment for borrowing your company, your compassion, your comfort during her last days?”

“No, actually it’s not that at all. You see, when she first told me about the dream, I refused to believe her. So, thinking it was all a bunch of malarkey, I made a bet. But I kinda did it in reverse. I told her if she died on her 45th birthday, she would have to leave me $20,000, but if she lived, I would have to pay her. I guess in my twisted thinking, I was hoping the money would give her an incentive to live on past her 45th birthday.”

Sadie turned quickly as the thought assailed her and spoke the words gingerly.

“11/24/2019 – That’s Angela’s 45th birthday, isn’t it?”

Lonnie shook his head in agreement.

There was a long silence between them.

“But what if she makes it past the 24th? She’s in hospice, but what if she lives until the 25th? Then you technically should be paying her – or at least her estate, right?”

“No, it’s not like that at all. The last time we talked she told me she had made arrangements to get the money to you and that she wanted you to have it regardless.”

“But why me? Why didn’t she leave it to you? It was you she loved.”

“Because, the last few times we talked, I told her about all the wonderful work you’ve been doing in the community – the food drives, working with the elderly. I told her how grateful I was to have such a wonderful wife and that, even though long ago I wanted more than anything for it to be her, I realized that you were the perfect fit for me.”

“I’m glad you feel that way but I still don’t know why you didn’t tell me about your talks and visits. As a matter of fact, you never even told me about her when we discussed our past relationships. Why was that?”

“Because the only way I could deal with the pain was to pretend we were never involved. When she contacted me a few weeks ago, a lot of emotions rose to the surface. I started to get confused. I wouldn’t have known how to explain all that to you. I just needed time to work it all out.

“And if I had never found your little black book… when would you have told me? When I got this check?”

“No, I had planned to tell you about it if she died. I didn’t think she’d arrange to have the check delivered until sometime after she died. That was a surprise to me.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Sad. But hopeful. Angela’s got such a great attitude towards life – and death. And I can tell she’s not putting up a front. She lived her life to the fullest. Went out and did everything she wanted to do and more.”

“Did she ever find love again?”

“It’s funny. I asked her that very question. She told me that was for her to know and me to find out. And then she winked.”

“Are you going to continue visiting her … until the end?”

“I’d like to. As a matter of fact, I’d like you to come with me.”

“What for?”

“Visiting and talking with Angie these past couple of weeks helped me to work through all the conflicting emotions. And it was during those talks that I realized that what we had was a dream of love… but what we have is real love.”

Lonnie walked over to Sadie and gently cupped her face in his hands.

“You are my real love. My life partner. That’s what we do. We do life together. ‘Til death do us part, am I right, Sadie?”

“Yes, Lonnie. Until death do us part.”

Their gentle kiss on the lips sealed the healing of an unfulfilled love and the strengthening of a bond forged by weathering the storms of a life well lived and a love well kept.