A day in a life

Dear Lewis, my love

I wake up. Usually from the sound of a baton echoing through the the door. the sound bounces off the corners of this room. I can almost feel it just on the end of my bed. The room isn't that grand or anything. No! I mean, it's great, sorry. I don't mean to sound ungrateful. You've done so much for me, and I couldn't be more grateful. Thank you. And love you!

At first I couldn't understand why the the guards were so geared up with tasers, batons and pepper spray. I'm pretty sure one even had a gun! but on my second week here a bunch of patients tried tackling and beating up the guards. now that guy is in here from brain damage. So I guess it makes sense now.

Right, anyway. My 'morning alarm' goes off I put my uniform slippers on my feet. We all wear the same thing each day. White pants. White shirts. So I can't really dress to impress or anything haha...

Breakfast isn't that bad, they say they've had to cut back their budget so we usually get one bowl of porridge each and one glass of milk. Can you believe they actually said it's cheaper than water these days? I can't tell what's worse, being in here, or hearing what's happening out there.

After breakfast -and meds- the day begins. Usually, that just means board games and tv, kids channel tv only. it can't be anything too violent as well. No news, because that's just as violent.

Just after lunch (which is a 'jam' sandwich) I would see my Dr. the one that is supposed to be treating me, but whenever I talk about my issues he just keeps... I don't know. He looks at me like I'm another case, his eyes glaze over at the clock begging like a school kid that the day will end and he can go home and play or watch tv or something. begging to be anywhere but here. I swear he places that thing right beside my head so he doesn't get caught out. I guess he's just as trapped. Just as lost.

In the afternoon I try to draw. I'm not so good though and before you ask no. I won't be letting you see, hehe.

Then dinner and bed by 7:30. So that usually means I'm up starring at the ceiling till about midnight. There's just not a lot beyond that, unfortunately.

There is...something else. A dream... it occurs almost every night. It started as just a flash, an image of this, almost boy, staring at me. he's trying to say something but the words won't come out but each night I get to see a little more. He is surrounded by white. Like he's walking in a cloud it seems peaceful but empty and hollow. Void of life. it's funny. I don't know. It's weird. but last night the dream seemed to go on forever and I could finally hear the boy. standing behind him was this tall man, 7 or 8 ft tall and he had wings, like an angel. almost as long as he was tall. dressed in a white ornamental dress type thing. The boy, he looked at me and simply said. "I'm sorry, it's up to you. make the better choice." And then my 'alarm' went off like gunfire.

Sorry for going on like that I know your busy. Can I see you sometime this week though? I could really use you. I love you and miss you. Maybe one day we can forget about all this a move to the country like you said when we first met?

I love you, see you next week(?) I tried to call you but it said your phone was disconnected, I just didn't know any other way to contact you.

I love you.

Jane xx

In the weeks to come Lewis would eventually write back the letter simply stated:

"Hi. Busy. got a new number sorry. Forgot

0557696969

I don't like letters just call or better yet text me."

Jane never wrote another letter to Lewis.

Authors notes:

As this would essentially be my first short story ever, well second if I were to count the one I did when I was 8 I wanted to focus it on my main character for what will hopefully be a comic book in the years to come as a lot of the groundwork for backstory, character development and detail was already in place so I had a strong understanding of who this character is to me. I was going to have this written from a first-person perspective but quickly changed that to a letter format, as this to me felt very much like a one-sided conversation in writing. And Jane has always been an outsider, someone who has struggled to fit in her whole life. Alas her story is a sad one. but the fictional world she lives in is an even sadder one.

I think ultimately this really helped me to truly see her 'ordinary world' the world of the mental health facility, through her eyes and to feel that desperate desire to connect with the only person she has ever felt try to care about her, and ultimately lose that battle, again. As this would be essentially Janes prologue before the story even begins it really put into focus for me who she is.

"why" she is the way that she is still needs to be explored though. So she will most likely get a part 2 but set even before this event. So as to get a better sense of who she is.