A Brief Introduction to the Concept of Attachment

Attachment is a natural principle and a psychic phenomenon that emphasizes what happens between us, humans, and the surviving beings in general. Thus, attachment involves emotional connections between people, includes the biological function of emotional relationships, emphasizes the adaptive pattern of one person close to another.

On the other hand, John Bowlby, the psychotherapist who drew attention to the phenomenon of attachment, mentions the instinctual way, doubled by biological and survival reasons that bring us into the world equipped and prepared to maintain attachments throughout life.

Attachment is formed based on touch, sensitization of perceptual senses (smell, taste, hearing, sight), emotional manifestation, mental content (thoughts, memories), words, and language in general.

Thus, attachments are dominated by the emotional parts, by their exchange in the relationship as essential, whether we are talking about sharing or talking about a person's reaction to love, sadness, joy, fear, or anger. Here we can add the potency of the exchange of thoughts because people always have thoughts and ideas about those around whom they want to have reactions.

A person's need to have relationships creates an attachment behavior, which is projected further into the affection and mutual exchanges. In this way, the need and self-attachment of a child are closely related to the ability to adapt to the attachment behavior of parents.

This idea is very visible in the context in which the relationship is stopped or paused. Children's reactions are usually emotional and go through fear and panic, anger and resentment, or despair and apathy.

Do a reminder exercise and try to remember how you react in your mother's presence and absence. What were your feelings? Fear or calm, anger or peace, despair or withdrawal? How do you relate to the presence of a surrogate mother or the feeling of loneliness? What emotions did you feel when you found yourself? Were you calm, happy, withdrawn, or angry?

These deeply lived emotions do not only belong to childhood, but with a closer look, we find them in relationships, behaviors, styles of manifestation of the disease today. Attachment theories can be extended to both adult and adult relationships. As a result, an attachment is built in each as a result of their own experiences that can be classified into several specific patterns.

Attachment patterns

Secure attachment.

The child receives emotional availability, will find answers to stressful or scary situations. That is why it is characterized by curiosity and the need to explore its environment. He seeks closeness to his mother, feels sad in her absence, and gladly receives her seeking physical contact.

Anxiety-avoidance attachment.

The child experiences a lack of confidence and confidence that he or she will receive affection, protection, or support. He usually adopts the independent attitude in a forced way and will experience an inner conflict between coming into contact and refusing even when the parents approach. He becomes angry and oscillates between the feeling of disappointment and the need to find solace.

Anxiety-resistant attachment.

Separation anxiety is very much present in this style of attachment, described by the uncertainty that the parent will be there. The child usually rejects the contact offer, adopts the attitude of withdrawing from the relationship, does not have strong reactions when left alone, and learns to adapt without expectations.

Disorganized attachment.

In this situation, the child experiences conflicting emotional states. Either avoid or reject contact, ask for affection, enjoy parenting, or wear mechanics or freeze. In this case, he perceives his father as a threat for which he also feels love, he tries to approve, to accept a person to whom he is connected but who at the same time is also the source of his anxiety.

Lack of attachment resulting from the separation or disappearance of the reference person or the development of an insecure attachment as a result of the behavior of parents or people heavily invested is a prerequisite for the child's mental development increasing the occurrence of attachment disorders.

These will appear in the child's behavior in a constant and exaggerated form. For example, they may develop extremely docile or aggressive behavior, take on opposite roles with their parents, and become very anxious about their emotional or physical condition.

On the other hand, he can oppose his parents' condition, avoid eye contact, try to gain control of any situation, has poor relationships with his peers, can have destructive behavior, insistent and inappropriate requirements, may have eating problems, eat too much much or rather very little.

The impact of attachment patterns on adult behavior

Naturally, the concept of attachment also refers to interpersonal life, placing people in the context of their relationships. We can find its impact in the sum of the behaviors observable in interactions.

At the individual level, the security attachment develops a certain style and a strategy meant to be able to make a correlation between the positive indicators of the psychic reactions and the way of interaction.

One can see a better ability to cope with stressors, stable self-esteem, a sense of confidence and curiosity, optimism, the ability to manage difficult emotions, to be assertive, and to understand different perspectives. On the other hand, a secure attachment also offers openness to understanding the needs of others, offering help, integrating, and accepting them.

Manages a conflict more effectively by maintaining good relationships with others by showing empathy and good relationship skills.

Attachments such as anxiety, avoidance, resilience, or disorganization have more problems with the ability to stay connected to negative emotions, have a sense of loss of control, and are also overwhelmed by the blockage of feeling close and asking for help from others.

There is a greater predisposition to develop vulnerabilities associated with various forms of anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive disorder characterized by strong feelings about loss, loneliness, abandonment or performance, self-criticism, or self-sabotage.

The importance of addressing attachment issues

• Responds to human needs and goals to create connections, a sense of connection and comfort encourages efforts to communicate with others;

• Attachment to a significant person creates a sense of security and refuge in sensitive situations of stress;

• It creates an emotional balance and provides the ability to organize our experiences coherently so that we can express our needs;

• It facilitates the feeling of constructive dependence so that we can ask for help and be able to communicate at the expense of a forced and insecure independence;

• Makes subsequent separations or losses feel less traumatic;

• Increases the ability to trust others and manage close relationships;

• Provides availability to approach others and meet their needs;

• It allows an accentuated character of the reciprocity of sharing emotions, thoughts, and values ​​but also of the security of intimacy.

Is it possible to change the type of attachment through psychotherapy?

In terms of attachment, psychotherapy aims primarily to provide a safe, stable, correct, and available environment and relationship, to contain a person's emotional experiences to break old patterns of behavior. Through the psychotherapeutic process, it is necessary to be visible how people engage in different types of relationships, to analyze their origins on how their perceptions of the world are distorted, and then to find better alternatives.

The change comes from the relationship and the ability to explore the inner world of the person involved in the process. This primarily involves regulating emotions on an individual and interpersonal level. Then the creation of a safe place where emotions can be manifested and explored and then can link the internal reality to the continuous process of life.

As a result of these first steps, it is necessary to identify appropriate strategies to achieve emotional balance even when vulnerable situations arise. At the same time, it remains valid to be aware of the influences of the past in the present to gain the understanding and motivation to remain in the new models created for the management of affections. A person's new possibilities of being will interrupt how past aspects are to be repeated.