A Binary

Sex is not a skill.

It is not a tool.

With any body you choose to engage with, you are meant to come as an empty cup willing to hold the tea you create with that person and appreciate it for what it is and what it will never be, and you'll find yourself blessed with more.

Sex is not experience or expertise you can use on all the bodies you sexually engage with - it's meant to be a feeling.

The honeymoon stage is not a phase meant to last until the beginning of your relationship. It is the marker of why this person is not just any other person in your life, thus making it the marker that builds and reproduces life.

The dominant and blinding feeling of new love is real and can be present in old love, and in-between life love. You are given the gift of experiencing this possessive spell and your spouse is your way to continued experience with it. They are the key as much as you are the door.

The sensation of touching source is probably why we keep living every day.

I know that IT IS why humans will forever seek community and companionship. Our blood and essence is the source; when we dive into it, we feel truly alive and connected. We find our love for all life, for ourselves, for the universe.

That's why a miserable woman needs steady vibrations, and a miserable man loves the feel of speed on an empty road. We are made for each other. Without one another, we wither away slowly and painfully. It becomes obvious to us all because it is our essence to be one.

I know a gay man uncertain whether he wants to transition to being a woman yet actively taking transition pills. He starts and stops, has hectic mood swings and doesn't have a solid sense of self.

He once met a woman he found attractive emotionally and physically. This woman was a masculine lesbian, and so he carelessly condemned the idea of pursuing that connection.

This situation showed me that we fall in love with essence and are born in the body we are meant to have. How we are is precisely what we need and desire.

This gay man happens to hate anal sex, even when he is top. He seems to always go for abusive men and wants men who look a certain way and with certain means. He also wants to be a parent one day to his biological children.

That got me thinking...

This masculine lesbian he had a crush on is the type of woman he needs to accommodate the kind of man he is.

Sexuality is a spectrum and is subjective. He could enjoy the kind of sexual pleasure he desires, have children, be married and have a life worth sacrificing for without having to change his body or his sexuality.

All he has to do is accept himself as he is.

He wasn't born in the wrong body, under the wrong circumstances, with the wrong feelings and urges - no one is.

He needs to find his woman, not a man.

And this situation allowed me to see the sense in the biological binary of man and woman, even intersex bodies only indicate the binary. It wasn't to limit anyone. Our bodies are created in connection to our essence to allow for a human experience.

The body shows we are human, the essence shows what kind of human we are.

There are no mistakes, coincidences, or curses. The universe is an omnipotent benevolence, is all-gendered, and never forsaking or cursing.

I also believe that we all have one person.

The person with whom our bodies fit and our essences become one, hence the binary allowing us to reproduce and have a life worth sacrificing and working hard for.

The binary removed one obstacle to finding love: look for your opposite gender and the "tit" for your "tat" in terms of sexuality. That is what the blinding dominant feeling of love is meant to show.

How do you know it's right for you?

Well, you investigate, ask questions, answer them, experience it, and ask if this is feeding the good in you.

The true good. Not what your trauma wants and your criteria of the right spouse dictates. Especially not your experience because you have never experienced true love or you wouldn't be looking for it unless you decided to let it go which was probably fear leading you. And in that case, you fight for your love.

The reason why sex feels the most right with the right person is that it reminds you of the innate worthiness you were created and born with.

That's why all the people that feel that they are really good at sex are never monogamous - they can't fill up their cup so they never have enough even though they easily orgasm.

The tea you create with your spouse satiates you in every sense because you get to touch source and have it stay with you to spread into every other part of your life. It's not the orgasm that makes sex what we crave, it is the permanent relationship you choose to have with your spouse. Orgasms are an expression of it - the saucer to your cup.

Sex feels good. You are not good at sex.

Again, it's not a tool or skill.

It is allowing yourself to be yourself with the one person who can accentuate and accommodate that.

It's a vulnerable, intrinsic cure to the worst this world has to offer.

Do you know why that is?

It's because the source is an omnipotent benevolence.