9 Things You Shouldn’t Do After an Argument With Your Partner

You hope for a dream relationship, in which your partner will constantly surprise you and from which there will be no disputes of any kind. But the reality is that every couple has its bad moments and days from which there are no quarrels.

No need to worry. Sometimes a good fight is healthy for the couple. You just have to know how to handle things after the conflict episode.

Don't be distant

Not bad if you feel the need to stay away from him after an argument. Be careful, though. "One of the biggest mistakes is turning into a stone sheepfold," says Rachel A. Sussman, a psychotherapist and relationship expert in New York City. "If you ignore him more, he will feel like you are punishing him, he will give back, and things will get worse, instead of calming down," she says. "The best option is to tell him that you need some space, but that you don't want to break up with him."

How to calm down after a conflict

Don't use against him what he told you when he was nervous

You've heard the phrase "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." It also applies to an argument. Whatever your partner tells you during the dispute, do not repeat it on another occasion.

So if he says a bad word to you or offends you, don't do the same thing at the first opportunity. You better tell him you're bothered by that word and stop using it.

Don't expect to solve everything with a simple "I'm sorry"

It may sound like a cheap excuse, which you don't even believe. You better show him that you are sorry, and try to convince him that you will be more careful in the future.

Don't blame others for the conflict

A hard day at work, a night of insomnia, a headache. There may be a few reasons why you are more aggressive. The fact that you invoke such situations or maybe others, does not make your partner get over your quarrel faster.

It is better to warn him that you are unwell and that you may find a knot in his rush than to wake up assailed by ugly words.

Don't turn your back on him if he wants to discuss the reasons for the conflict again

If you've just finished arguing, and he starts over, show interest in a discussion. Don't ignore him because you don't want to argue anymore. "Ignorance can be worse than an argument in itself," say psychologists.

Do not provoke him after arguing, even if you are still upset

You will make her nervous again and you will start over without resolving the conflict. Allow yourself time to calm down and only then resume the talks, with more diplomacy. It is possible to see things differently, and the solution will come naturally.

Do not split the thread into four

Better look for a way to resolve the conflict. If, for example, he forgot to withdraw money from the ATM and you had to make a cash payment, don't yell at him. You better take him by the arm and take a walk to the bank and solve the problem.

If you see that the situation is constantly repeated, make a joke and tell him: "I see that you did not make money again. I appreciate that you want to raise money for the holiday, but until then we still have a few bills to pay. "

Don't say, "I didn't mean that," when you said it

He admits you offended him and tries to find an explanation for it. Otherwise, if you deny it, he will sharply reply, "Yes, you said it!", And the conflict will escalate. You better apologize sincerely for your words and tell him it won't happen again. And keep your word!

Don't pay much attention to your quarrel

It happens in any relationship. It is important to learn something good from each dispute. Plus, if you see that your partner is involved, you may find that he cares about the relationship and fights for it.

The fact that he has his opinions matters. Nobody likes moles. All the less the partners who, for fear of quarrels, always leave them. You have to be mature enough to approach your problems directly, without them dissolving the relationship.