8 ways to make a lasting relation

We all want to know how they do it, those couples that seem to love each other more every day. Well, they are usually pretty easy to spot. The key indicators of couples that have found eternal love and will continue doing so for as long as they live are: active listening, deep conversations, and being open with one another.

In this article, I give you 8 tips for your relationship based on social science research and the wisdom of long-time couples.

What distinguishes long-lasting couples

1. They have an active sex life.

Closeness and tender touching are much more likely to lead to love. In contrast, going from one’s partner’s viewpoint is not about love. It’s about companionship, comfort, and health. The two of you are bound together by feelings of safety and security. When you’re not getting enough of this, you’ll want to try something new. First of all, sex is unconditional acceptance of each other. This is the foundation of intimacy, and it’s what you need for the relationship to thrive. The definition of love changes with the length of the relationship, it is important to communicate what you want.

2. They communicate with each other.

Open communication is fundamental in a long-term relationship, and it can’t be assumed because after you get married, things suddenly become easier to talk about. In fact, there’s a lot more for both of you to be concerned about when the wedding bells stop ringing: how are your finances? For smaller families or if they don’t pay much attention to you on their own, what issues do you think you’ll face as a couple? What kind of extras will the future bring? You need to make sure that both of you are happy with those issues before bringing them up.

3. They express their gratitude.

Long-lasting couples express their gratitude. They also set aside time for each other to keep the sparks flying. This can be done by attending a party, going to bed early on a Saturday night, or taking each other on dates. You might have heard that men like gifts and women love romantic dates, but that’s not true: both genders simply need a special kind of attention from their partners to stay satisfied in marriage. The sages advise saying “thank you” as often as possible, every time your partner has made something easier for you; whether she does the laundry or he mows the lawn more often than you do is irrelevant, what is important is that you make an effort to show your gratitude.

4. They seem to trust one another.

When two people feel comfortable with one another, they are much more likely to communicate honestly about how they’re feeling and what they want from life. Trust begins with open communication. Even if you have reasons to be upset about something, it’s best to talk it over with your partner instead of bottling up your insecurities and making him or her feel like a failure. Indeed, it’s important to remember that the way you communicate is extremely important.

5. They are working on their relationship.

In previous years, couples were often too busy to notice they were “stuck,” but nowadays many couples understand that the key to a happy relationship is investing in it. Part of the effort of building a lasting relationship is establishing shared rituals. Rituals connect long-term couples because they help one another stay in touch with who they are as a couple and how they got there. Although the rituals may sound silly to others, keep in mind that the most important part is that they actually work for you. For example, a ritual is watching a Netflix series together, drinking wine every Friday, or whatever you repeat together, your creativity is key

6. They know how to compromise.

This is another lesson in communication and trust: if you have a very different view on life compared to your partner, you should not be surprised when he or she has a different view as well. Don’t try to force a solution that’s not needed by either of you, and don’t hold grudges for the rest of your life because one person didn’t accept what was offered. Compromise is often a necessary part of having a successful relationship, and this is especially true in the long-term.

7. They have a clear view of what they want from life.

Those who have a clear sense of what they want from life are also clear about their expectations for their partner, and for both parties to be happy together. Having an idea of what you’re looking for in your partner will save you time, money and problems down the line, because you’ll be able to focus on issues that are harder to solve than you think. The most important part of this is making sure your partner has the same hopes and dreams for the future as you do.

8. They are interdependent people.

People can only relate to others on an equal level if each person is confident in the other’s unspoken understanding of the relationship and ability to give unconditional acceptance and love back. If they feel that their partner will give support without expecting anything in return, these couples tend to be quite happy together for a long time indeed. In order to keep this relationship going, however, couples must ensure that their bond is solid. To avoid this, it’s important to communicate and make sure that each partner feels like there are no problems in the long-term.

Bonus

The foundation of any relationship. Be a friend to yourself first before entering a relationship. It is best to be yourself and allow others to fall in love with the real you. If you are not sure what you want in life, it can be confusing when trying to understand what your partner wants as well. Only after being friends with yourself will you know who the right kind of person for you really is.

You can also help each other discover each other, but that’s a long storey for another article, if you think I should continue, please leave a comment (Twitter), like or follow me, it could be the start of something interesting…