8 Signs of Self-Sabotage

A situation can be good or bad, but the way we perceive it is the one that generates the reaction we have when we face it. Therefore, the mentality and the way we are used to thinking are the defining factors for our physical and mental health.

However, because of the difficulties we face daily, we sometimes find ourselves in a position to perceive negatively any situation, so that our self-confidence decreases more and more.

The problem becomes really serious when our performance is getting lower and lower, we deliberately refuse the challenges and make a habit of a lifestyle that prevents us from developing following our abilities. How do we know, however, when we need to take action?

Here are 8 signs you shouldn't ignore:

1. Systematically pay attention to the negative things in your life

If you tend to see everything in a shadow cone and focus only on the negative aspects of your life, it means that things are going in a direction you don't want and that your way of thinking becomes toxic.

There may be many things around you that you are not comfortable with, but there are certainly many positive aspects that you ignore. If you become immune to the positive elements in your life, over time you will lose them without even giving you a chance to make them fruitful.

Try to keep a note of realism that gives you a real picture of yourself and the situation itself.

2. Make any failure a catastrophe and do not enjoy success

Another characteristic of people who self-sabotage is that they have the false impression that when they get positive results, they do not deserve it, which is why they not only do not celebrate them but even feel guilty in front of others.

When you do this, you are constantly feeding yourself with negative thoughts and managing to make failure a way of life. If you are the type who cannot enjoy your success because he does not deserve it, you should think that it is equally unfair to yourself to refuse a series of results that you have obtained through effort.

3. You refuse to see the truth

The fact that you are not at peace with your life and you are constantly complaining about what is happening to you will not change things. On the contrary, constant victimization will bring you into a situation where you will isolate yourself from all those who try to show you the good side of things because no one can make you see what you do not want.

Do not disregard the power of language. Continuing to charge yourself with negativity, the constant expression of dissatisfaction will bring you into the situation of being left alone on the bottom of the abyss. Try to remember as many times as necessary, that when something cannot be changed, you have to change your attitude towards that thing.

Once you have done everything to achieve this, you can more easily accept what is given to you, instead of complaining that nothing is the way you want it to be.

4. You have too high expectations of yourself

This leads to a new alarm signal. If you constantly believe that you, your life, or the people in it are not up to the level you want, then your expectations may be unrealistic. Our expectations are an important part of how we think and perceive a situation.

These represent what we believe is possible or necessary to happen to us and are based on an accumulation of personal experiences. When they are inconsistent with our past, it means that something is not working properly and we need to intervene.

You have to be aware that nothing can work exactly the way you want it to, no matter how hard you try, so you shouldn't judge yourself so harshly. Appreciate reality and always try to reveal the best.

5. Avoid experimenting with new things

You are at a standstill if you refuse from the start any possibility to make your life more beautiful. The best remedy for sadness or for times when you feel stuck is to learn something new.

It is the only thing that cannot fail because it involves an activity that you start from scratch and on which you make a progress no matter how small.

Even if you spend your nights in constant uncertainty, regretting things from the past, thinking about the mistakes you made or meditating on the problems of the toxic society in which you live, consider the following advice: keep your mind busy!

6. You worry about everything

Worrying only steals your well-being and keeps you busy. Try to get out of the vicious circle in which you turn and stop looking for solutions as long as, in your mind, there are only bad options.

Focus on changing your attitude toward problems in general, and be less of a predicament. Over time, this attitude will negatively affect your health, and you will end up ticking off another negative aspect of self-sabotage: the installation of hypochondria.

Relax and spend your time as efficiently as possible to avoid as many moments of inactivity as you can afford to have such thoughts.

7. You become dependent on the presence of others

As you get overwhelmed by negative thoughts, the degree of uncertainty about the things you do increases. You question everything you think and you seem to be unable to complete it in any way, being even more afraid to take responsibility for the decisions you make.

Most of the time you need confirmations or rebuttals from people you trust, only that, over time, their arguments become your arguments. It is an extremely dangerous attitude because addiction makes you vulnerable, and at some point, the inability to manage on your own and to choose for yourself will generate a series of frustrations that you can hardly cope with, altering in at the same time, the relationship with that person, who is trying to help you.

What you need to understand when you are self-sabotaging is that no one, no matter how much they want to, can get you back on the waterline as long as you don't want to. You are the only one who can change the situation and it takes considerable effort to succeed. But it's worth it. Regaining the feeling of independence feels nice.

8. You are constantly comparing yourself to others

There are times when competition is beneficial. In this way, you can connect to the things you care about and persevere to achieve your goal.

But, if for you, comparing yourself to others means invariably being in the last place, just because you are constantly underestimated, then you have to give up doing this. Work hard every day to be in the best physical and emotional shape and aim to gain consistency.

Try to be better for yourself and think that the recipe for a perfect life is written for everyone else. Even if you are not part of the group of those who fit into the social norms, try to find your way and accept your imperfections. They make you unique.