7 ways to overcome a breakup

Breakups are the worst. I have no idea how to explain it to someone, but you do feel pain internally; as well as emotionally. It's honestly not the greatest thing to feel, but I want you to keep in mind as long as it will take there are ways to overcome this. Now it may or may not help right away. But I am here to tell you the ways I had to deal with it and share with you how it helped me, and to help you direct your body and mind to the path to healing yourself and finding yourself. Remember, this can take time.



1. Cry all you want

It's okay to cry. I heard the saying "tears cleanse the soul" in a movie once. You know what, when my ex and I had a dreadful break up, I remember staying in bed for hours, even a couple of days just crying and stuffing my face, watching television. Some might say it's deleterious, but in my encounter, it helped me. My mindset grew by secluting myself and weeping my eyes out till I had no more tears. It's okay to feel sad, it's okay to cry. And it's okay to cry alone! I feel like that kind of action makes it easier for ourselves to express our true pain. Like, if you want to cry and scream, find a room where no one will hear you and do it. It's just letting all the pain go! Ultimately, you'll feel relieved once you've cried it all out.

2. Take Your Time To Get Ready To Move On Mentally

Some bonds have a second chance, but if you're in a situation where it isn't. Then I am pretty sure you're frightened and uneasy and in curiosity to know what's going to be in store for you. I already know you're so afraid to picture your life without that person, and it's normal to feel that way. Especially with words, actions and commitments were made. That kind of pain and distress can make life seem meaningless. Trust me, take it from me, it will be okay. Be prepared to let go one day, because as much it's unfortunate to hear this, eventually it's going to be the time to move on. My father always told me: "When something bad happens, that means something out there is better."

3. Commence Moving

I don't mean to move out of the country or out of the state! But when I say start moving, I mean to start getting up from your bed, at least. Even if it's just cleaning the house, or reading a book. My advice is to do something that makes you feel human again, as much as the pain can be excruciating and overwhelming and even disheartening. You should do something to get you moving. Baby steps to feel okay is a good direction to walk to, don't do something you know you're not ready to do yet, but getting out of bed to do one small thing can be a start to a new journey.

4. Find ways to move around

I know staying in bed and crying may seem like the best therapeutic enforcement at the moment, but it cannot be something that can be done forever. Eventually, some fresh air will do you well. However, sometimes when you're in mourning of a breakup, being in pain and vexation can sometimes make you like you want to isolate yourself, but I don't encourage you to surround yourself with friends or family if you don't want to. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to have fun, there is always having fun alone; in your solitude is not a bad thing. Go out and enjoy the world, even if it's just sitting on your porch or backyard with a beverage, or if you feel ready, take a walk in the park. I strongly suggest you try your best to leave the house just to get a peaceful moment. Remember, baby steps. If you want to be outside even for ten minutes. Do that. I rest assure, you'll feel a little better.

5. Do not step into a new relationship

That is honestly the most dangerous thing you can do to yourself. I know the idea of having someone new, and distracting yourself from the pain just by having the company of another person may seem like the right choice. However, keep in mind: You are in pain, you are still hurting, and if I am not mistaken, you are still in love with your ex. Still being in love with someone, and involving yourself with someone else is a critical course of action for your mental health. Also, it wouldn't be fair to the new person either. Take your time to heal before loving again, and learn to love yourself before loving another. As far as I'm concerned, you being in the grief of this particular breakup, you are probably feeling self-loathing at the moment (it's normal, you're just hurting. REMEMBER THAT!). My suggestion is to try to be the better version of you, before becoming the best for someone else.

6. Don't call your ex!

I get the temptation and urge to speak to your ex. You want to call or text him or her and if you still want this person back, you are in hope that if they talk to you somehow, they will reconsider the choice of the breakup. Trust me, I have been there, I would call and text my ex and throw in a subliminal hint that we should get back together, I would always end up hurt and cry all over again cause I would be rejected or hung upon. Also, there is that fear that your ex is with someone else, and you want to call to find out. I know it's easier said than done, but try to redirect your mind to not care. It's normal to want to talk to them, but it's not fair to yourself to cause any more pain than you have now, just try to fight the temptation to contact this ex. It's going to be tough, but I promise and take it from me, it's for the best. There is a saying: That if a person says they don't care or show they don't care, believe them.

7. Keep busy

After griefing in pain and agony, taking those baby steps to find yourself again. You will feel yourself smiling and the power of healing emerging in your mind and spirit. This is now your chance to make the best choices. Think about the rejuvenating and endless possibilities that you can create for yourself. Think about what is the one thing you always wanted to do! Whether it'd be going to school for a new career, new hobbies, new hairstyle, a shopping trip, that vacation you always dreamed about? Make it happen! New variations are so stimulating and amazing, even if it's brief or everlasting. Keep in mind, the skies the limit. It's cliche, I know! But the shoe fits.

After the grief and the feeling of hopelessness and sadness will eventually wear out. I can promise you, heartbreaks do hurt, but you won't die from love. I do ask to take as much time as you can to heal alone, and when you are ready to focus on yourself and still enjoy your friends and family's company when the time is right for you. It's all in the mind, keep saying to yourself: 'I will heal. It'll take time, but I will heal.' Bring that mindset into existence. Within due time, it heals the wounds and you will be okay.