5 Thirst Traps to Easily Avoid in the Dating Game

I don’t know about you, but I have grown exhausted by the shenanigans in the dating world. From the catfishers to the ghosters — everybody seems to have a schtick.

Whatever happened to honesty and genuine interest? It still exists

Yes, there are millions of people who are who they say they are. And do what they say they’re going to do. And I refuse to believe that there are more creeps than good peeps. #KeepHopeAlive

But the creeps do exist. And they aren’t always running a scam or perpetrating a financial fraud either. Sometimes the creeps are just seemingly ordinary people who want attention — lots and lots of attention.

It’s easy to be fooled by these individuals because sometimes they stay in constant contact. They bamboozle you into thinking that it’s you that they want. But in actuality, they suffer from a condition I like to call — look at me syndrome. That’s why they are so good at setting thirst traps.

What is a thirst trap?

According to Urban Dictionary, a thirst trap is:

Thirst Trap | THərst trap|

(verb)

A sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media with the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction. This is done not to actually respond or satisfy any of this attraction, but to feed the posters ego or need for attention, at the expense of the time, reputation and sexual frustration of those who view the image or reply.

But for this article, I am defining a thirst trap as anything done by a potential suitor to snare your attention by being flossy (a.k.a, excessively showy).

5 Thirst Traps to Easily Avoid in the Dating Game:

The Daily Selfie Taker

If you’ve been on the dating scene for a minute, you have no doubt come across this person. It’s not just that they take a selfie every single day — but they insist on sending it to you, which wouldn’t be that big of a deal if they were more engaging.

Their need to send you pics has nothing to do with connection. They are not interested in you getting to know them. And they are far too self-absorbed to be curious enough to get to know you. But what they do want is to stay front and center in your mind’s eye.

So if you encounter this person — exit stage left, pronto.

The Pity Party Host

Have you ever met someone who always has something going on in their life? I’m not just talking about your everyday run-of-the-mill life stuff. This is the kind of person who is constantly nursing a wound.

If you ask them how they’re doing, they will inevitably start complaining about what is wrong. And never do they ever have anything positive to say. As far as they’re concerned, they are a walking billboard for disaster. They are hosting legendary pity parties day in and day out. And guess what? YOU’RE INVITED!

But this is one party that you don’t want to attend.

Of course, when you’re getting to know someone, you share the good stuff and the not-so-great stuff too. That’s perfectly normal. But if someone never has anything good to say initially, you can bet your bottom dollar that it won’t get any better.

Remember, you are looking for a partner — not a project. So cut your losses and move on.

The Humble Bragger

I do not believe in modesty because downplaying your abilities is a form of self-harm. Being confident and self-assured is a good thing. But the thing about confidence is —it often whispers.

Truly confident people don’t need to draw attention to themselves. And that’s the difference between a confident person and a humble bragger.

The humble bragger will always tell a story about how great their life is — but they’ll spin it in a self-deprecating way. They make it a point to add a dash of humility or a half-ass complaint to encourage audience participation. What they want is for you to chime in by reminding them that they’re fantastic.

Do you know what’s attractive? Sincerity. Humblebragging is just annoying.

Again, you’re seeking a potential partner — and part-time cheerleader is not in the job description.

The Wanna-be Intellectual

I once dated a guy who would literally make up words. And when I’d question him, he would even improvise a definition! #TrueStory

Pretension is never a good thing.

The wanna-be intellectual pretends to be smarter than they are because they feel inadequate. You may instinctively show compassion for this person — but be warned. Compassion can quickly turn into contempt when dealing with an inauthentic person.

And let me tell you a little about contempt — it’s insidious.

So while you may be charmed by the wanna-be intellectual — at first, the glamour will eventually wear off, and irritation will set in.

The Pretend Sex God/Goddess

When it comes to dating, most of us are looking for some form of companionship. And for most people (not all), sex is a part of that. But you know what’s unsexy? Someone who is constantly talking about how great they are in bed.

If you come across someone who swears they can breathe through their ears or who claims they can ride a penis like Meg the Stallion — walk on by.

The sexually skilled — don’t advertise.

Where sex is concerned — the proof is in the pudding. In other words, actions speak louder than words. A person who can really put it down does more doing than talking.

Even if you’re only looking for a hook-up — the pretend sex god/goddess ain’t the one! Why? Because these people tend to air on the thirsty side. So they will either become a cling-on or play disappearing acts. And neither of those are your cup of tea.

Dating isn’t easy — and that’s okay. You are not supposed to be for everyone. And everyone is not supposed to be for you. So my best advice is this — hire slow, fire fast.

Your time is a commodity, and your attention is currency. Don’t waste either on people who are not genuinely interested in getting to know you — inside and out.

Originally published at medium.com