5 Brutal Truths That Can Cause You To Waste Your Life

We all have different perspectives, but some things seem to ring true for everyone.

These are the lessons that make everything easier—they're the need-to-know stuff of life.

That's how I define a "life truth," In my mind, there are the most brutal in that people spend a lot of time in denial about these. I'm not immune either, and I wish I'd realized some of these sooner.

It doesn't matter if you're a celebrity, regular Joe, or a philosopher on a hill. These things will trip you up if you don't get them right and cause you to waste precious time.

Time is so precious, and it's the only thing you can never get back.

So, in the spirit of easing your learning curve, here are some conclusions I wish I'd come to sooner:

1. There will always be bullies. They won't change because they can't. The bully on the playground becomes the bully at work, then at home, and at the old age home. You can't make a bully kind, you can't make them like you, you can't please them or win them over - no matter who they are. Don't try to change a bully. Just walk away as fast as you possibly can. Even if they have an epiphany at some point, they'll probably hurt many people along the way, including you, if you stay.
2. The stuff you think makes you edgy and cool is probably pain avoidance. Drinking, vaping, smoking, shopping, eating, gambling, recklessness, or promiscuity. I squandered the best years of my life on alcohol and self-destruction. I wish I'd known what a waste it all was. If I'd realized just how much pain I was in, I could have stopped trying to run away from it and looked for help. If you have an out-of-control lifestyle, give some thought to why you do what you do. If you think you might have a problem, chances are, you do. If you can't afford professional help, look for self-help to get the ball rolling, and don't stop until something catches and starts working.
3. It's easier to avoid a bad habit than to quit one. This goes for anything you can become addicted to. Whether it's smoking, gambling, drugs, eating, or shopping, it's tough to stop once you start. Corny as it sounds, you're better off just saying no. Just don't smoke, even if everyone else does. Don't shop on credit. Don't eat a whole cake or drink the entire bottle every night. Have just one piece of glass. I'll always be grateful to my messed-up former self for at least knowing enough not to use hard drugs - there were loads of cocaine and heroine going around in the "scene" I was a part of in my 20's, but I instinctively knew it was a black hole. If you know something is bad for you and addictive, just walk away no matter how great someone else makes it seem.
4. Marriage and kids are way more serious responsibilities than you think. I married a man who treats me as an equal, does his share of housework, and keeps our home in good repair. He's supported every endeavor I've ever tried and has loved me through some daunting times. I love him more than life itself, but we've had our issues. Marriage is a constant give and take. You get triggered, bug each other, get mad and sad, and say stupid things. You have stresses like money, jobs, parenting, and extended family. Kids are way more work than anybody lets on. Don't take getting married or who you're marrying lightly. Marry for the right reasons. If you have that uneasy feeling about it, acknowledge that and explore it. Don't have kids fill the hole in your soul or have someone to love you forever. Things don't always work out the way you want them to, even under the best conditions.
5. You will die one day. Don't waste your time selling yourself short. You feel like you'll never get old when you're young, but you will. The funny thing is, you don't change on the inside. You might get wiser and better, but you'll still be you. The dreams you have are the same ones you'll always have if you ignore them. Don't waste your time making excuses to sell yourself short. Live your life with passion, and don't stop just because you get older. Don't paint yourself into a corner just because you feel like you have to or should. Make the art you want, love who you love, take the chances you need to be the person you want to be at any age. Never give up on your healing, and never give up on your dreams. As cliche as it sounds, it's good advice for a reason. Don't let yourself die knowing you could have done so much more.

Are there more truths I haven't uncovered?

Of course.

Are there things you know that you should be telling me?

I'm sure there are.

But for now, just know these few revelations have freed me from heartache and liberated me.

They're things that, the sooner you realize them, the better your chance of living a life of fulfillment and love.

You can stop giving yourself to people who don't deserve you, reconnect with your passion and start giving yourself the future you deserve.

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Erin King is the author of How To Be Wise AF: A 30-day journalling adventure to your inner Guru.