20 Lessons to Live By

So, I know that 20 years is not a lot. I am actually well aware of this fact because no one in my life will stop pestering me about it. Being that I may have a limited amount of experience—with much more to follow—I feel that I am still allowed to be proud of the few things I have learned thus far. Now, these tidbits of information may come across as basic pieces of wisdom to quite a few—that I do not doubt—but who's to say one or two people might not appreciate a bit of new knowledge. With that out of our hair, if you are turning 20—although older individuals are welcome as well—I ask that you join me as I explain all that I have learnt from my 2 decades of life experience .

1. Embrace marginal gains.

Any substantial change takes time, it will never be a quick hit. However, as you get 1%—or even 0.5%—closer to a goal as each day passes, you will begin to see the differences become stronger and stronger. One day, you'll take a step back and see the considerable growth your effort has morphed into. For the sake of your mental health, motivation, and to simply enjoy life, celebrate the tiny successes that occur everyday as, eventually, they will all accumulate into the bigger picture.

2. If you want something to happen, just do it.

You are in control of your own life and how it plays out, no one else. Don't just expect your perfect life to appear at your doorstep, you have to take the initiative. A lot of people are hesitant to do this because they feel that they don't know enough to start, but that brings me to my next point.

3. You learn by doing.

The most successful people sloppily jumped into whatever they started. They didn't spend years trying to learn how to start perfectly. They understood—and embraced—the fact that they will make mistakes and did simply that. The best way to learn is to do, make mistakes, and learn from them. So just start. Who knows how much growth you are preventing from putting off starting?

4. Don't let failure discourage you.

The greatest people failed many times before finally succeeding. You will keep trying and failing a million times before, one day, you don't. You need to find a way to push through the grief of failing, so you can keep going until you succeed. Learn from your mistakes and keep trying.

5. While you still can, take advantage of being able to fail.

When you are young and less is at stake, fail a lot, fail everyday. Now is the time to do so as the repercussions are not very serious. So try as much as you can, while you still can.

6. Put yourself out there.

You can be the world's most talented artist or mesmerizing singer, but no one will ever know if you don't let them. My mom once told me about a story of this woman who was a math genius. If you gave her any date in the past or future she would always, without fail, be able to name the day of the week it landed on. Unfortunately, she lived in a village in Pakistan. Her talent was wasted, hardly reaching the doorsteps of neighbouring communities. Opportunity doesn't just come knocking at your door when you lock yourself in your room. It comes when you find it.

7. Network.

I don't care if you are sitting in the hot tub or going for a walk, just meet people. It'll get easier with time and the worst they can do is ignore you. Send out a compliment once in a while or ask how the weather's been. You never know who you'll encounter.

8. Just start.

I don't care what it is. It can be a project or simply getting out of bed in the morning. But as soon as you complete the action of starting, continuing gets so much easier. The hardest part is always starting.

9. Work hard and play hard.

Master the art of the work-life balance. The next 10 years will make or break the remaining course of your life, so make sure to prime well. But, they are also supposed to be some of the stupidest, most exciting, enjoyable, and memorable years as well. You don't want to look back and think that all you did was work. Find friends, travel when you can, learn about history, and climb a mountain while your legs can still handle it. Make sure you age with no regret, whether this pertains to work or life.

10. Life is shorter than you think.

You can wake up at 8am, and before you know it the clock strikes 10pm. The event you were excited for all week comes and goes in an instant. Every month of summer vacation seems to go by in what feels like a few days. Time will march regardless, you can't stop that. So make sure to keep up, so it can't out run you.

11. Reflect.

Reflect on yourself. Reflect on your behaviour. Reflect on your actions. Reflect on your days. Reflect on your relationships. Reflect on your job. Reflect on the way you study. Reflect on your method of reflecting. Reflecting on how you improve what you reflected on. No one is perfect all the time, and there is always room for improvement. There is no shame in making mistakes, as long as you learn from them.

12. Work hard, but refuse misery.

Everyone has to work hard to get what they want, obviously. But, misery shouldn't be a measurement of success. I feel that many people have this opinion. I've seen people brag about how little sleep they get because of how much they've studied or how many meals they've skipped to focus on work. Although they may be achieving a lot—personally—I find it far from impressive. There is much more to admire about a person who achieves the same—or maybe less—but still maintains their humanity. If you find yourself being miserable in your pursuit of success, take a step back and reflect on what is wrong. Make changes that prioritize your health and—I promise—everything else will fall into place.

13. A jack of many trades is a master of none.

As visually impressive a stacked resume may appear upon a first glance, a quick reading into what the person actually accomplished can expose the truth. You can do so much but also nothing all at the same time. When choosing what to do make sure you are passionate about it so you can put in your best work and maintain that long term. No matter what, it is always quality over quantity.

14. Learn how to learn.

Whether it is in school or out of it, there are a million things we need to know and a million things we need to keep in our heads. You could spend thousands of dollars on courses that contain content, telling you what to learn. But, ask yourself, do you know HOW to learn. Chances are you probably don't; I know I don't. Learning how to learn is the basis for anything that involves content, so it is arguably the most important skill. The skill of learning skills, if you will.

15. Dress to impress.

As easy and empowering as it is to not care about looks and to just focus on real skills, it doesn't do the good you think it does. Putting effort into your appearance is a huge factor in your success. And I don't mean just for fancy occasions, it should be an everyday thing; you never know who you could meet. You could be the smartest person in the room, but showing up in sweatpants and a messy bun will blurry your success. It is annoying to think about how much our looks matter to society but—for better or for worse—they just do. Of course you should never focus on looks so much to the point where you become obsessed and it tramples your work, but getting dolled up can bring your self-image from a 6 to a 10. First impressions are everything.

16. Have a growth mindset.

Making mistakes is so frustrating, especially when you feel like you've done every thing right. If you're like me, a ball of fire forms inside your chest and you feel like you are going to scream and explode. You just want to stop. But, you never should. You need to push through that anger, analyze the mistakes, and grow from it. Always try to grow. When you see every experience as a chance to grow, you'll be excited to make mistakes. You can only go up from there.

17. Remember the good times.

This was a piece of advice my mom gave to my sister-in-law to lead her to the path of having a successful marriage. When you are going through a hard time—whether it be in a relationship, job, school, or just life in general—know that it will always pass. The happiness that was once there, does not just disappear; you just have to find it. It may take some effort and—at times—be demotivating as hell, but you will find it. Most people always do. Mindset is everything, so embrace that power.

18. Appreciate time off.

The opportunities to receive large chunks of time off from our numerous obligations begin to dwindle as our life moves forward. From having less frequent breaks from work than we did in school to having to fill our breaks with tasks we couldn't get done during work, blocks of free time start to become far and few between. But when you get them, embrace them. Of course this means you should do all the things you couldn't get done before—things like building up that resume or making money—but don't forget to make time to simply live. Make time to spend time with your mom, to talk about nonsense with your best friend, or to just chill in bed and watch Netflix. Whether you believe it or not, your body needs to rest. If you don't your body will scold you in angry ways.

19. Embrace strain.

Everything good in life arrises from hard work. I'm not sure why we have, as a collective, tried to take the easy route out of everything. Short-term, strain is horrible. Take going to the gym for example: it raises your heart rate, breathing rate, and adrenaline to unhealthy levels. But that is all momentarily. As hard as lifting that weight may be you know that, in a few months, that boulder will feel like a feather. This can be applied to school, work, and even relationships. Although that initial push may be hard, demotivating, and overwhelming, in the long term, the strain will be worth it.

20. Love as much as you can.

People have always regretted closing themselves off from the basic emotions that make us human. But no one has ever regretted letting them self love people, as well as being loved back. As cheesy as it may sound, love is what keeps us fulfilled. A successful life means nothing if you can't share it with those who you adore. Even if a relationship may end one day, and that love turns into pain or grief, it is always worth it. You are remembered for how you make people feel, not how you didn't. So love people like you never want them to forget because, the odds are, they never will.

Hopefully, I have many years left. By the time I am 30, I'll be able to add 10 more items to the list. But until then, I'll just have to work with the wisdom I have sequestered thus far. I'll apply it, reflect on it, and modify it accordingly until it's close to perfect.

But, when I really think about it, I don't ever want it to be perfect. Can you imagine how boring life would be if you were always doing everything right? I'm excited to make mistakes, to do things wrong. I'll meet people that I hate and people that I love. I'll make decisions that change the course of my life and some that simply make my day a little bit brighter.

The journey of life can be so hard, but so fun. I can't wait to see who I'll be in 10 years.