11 Life Mistakes You'll Regret on Your Deathbed

It is said that people see their entire lives before their eyes when they are dying. We won't know for sure until we are on the brink of death. Death, unpleasant as it may seem, is an inevitable stage of life. Each of us will meet her one day. Have you ever thought about who you will be and what you will think when you know your last moments in this life? Most people ask themselves this question. What will you regret then, what are the past experiences that you would turn back time to fix?

I've collected some of the most common regrets that people on their deathbed have when they know they have a short time before they pass on. We certainly can't control if we die, but we can control how we live until then.

1. I didn't have the courage to say what I wanted

We often avoid saying no when we want to say no. And yes when we want yes. We don't show our anger or joy for fear of hurting. We avoid rocking the boat, lest we disturb. Ironically, when you are honest and express your feelings – positive or negative – you will gain more respect from those around you. At first you will probably run into resistance from them. They are not used to you telling them NO. Then some will understand that this is you and they will respect you. Others will never do it and will want to keep controlling you. And the latter may not be suitable for you as friends. Choose your entourage carefully. Stay with fewer people around you, but who accept you as you are, with everything you feel. Relationships that enrich you and increase your value. Don't accept mediocre friends, just to have an extended social circle. If you settle for a mediocre existence, you will always carry the bitterness of the compromises you made. Sooner or later you will regret it. Many people use social media (facebook, twitter, google plus, yahoo messenger, etc) to vent their feelings. It's not necessarily a bad thing. In general, however, a phone call to a person close to you, a hug or going out for coffee with a man you respect (or with whom you want to fix something) will change your life for the better and lead to relationships which you have at a higher level. Or it will end relationships that do not enrich you.

2. I didn't take risks: I always looked for safety

Safety is an ideal: THERE IS NO SAFETY. All you can have is the sense of peace, the confidence you have knowing you are safe from danger. But only a feeling remains, you will never be sure that you are completely sheltered. Maybe tomorrow you will be hit by a car while you were walking properly on the sidewalk. Or maybe while you're picnicking a plane will crash and you'll be crushed to death under it.

Do animals know what safety is? Not! Do plants know it? Not again! However both animals and plants live. No one will ever be able to live in complete safety. And running away from danger is no safer than exposing yourself to what you find difficult. It's just a cowardly act of running away from the flow of life. Helen Keller said: Life is either a brave adventure or it isn't at all Have you ever thought about how much energy you use avoiding problems and seeking safety? Do a simple exercise: Divide a sheet of paper in two (vertically). Choose a few situations that you run away from and avoid solving them. On the left, write how much energy, money, time, etc. you consume to maintain the current situation (comfortable, risk-free) and how much you would consume if you faced the situation head on with courage and assumed some calculated risks. You will see that in reality you are expending more energy avoiding danger and staying in your comfort zone than you would have expended if you had tackled the problem and solved it. Get out of your comfort zone. Dance like you're alone and make the rest of your life an adventure.

3. I didn't live the life I wanted. I lived life the way others expected me to.

Arriving before death, people realize that their whole life they did not do what they wanted, but what others wanted from them. Maybe it's parents, husband, wife, siblings, friends, teachers, colleagues, boss or someone else. Some attended the college their parents wanted. They became lawyers, not the architects they dreamed of being. Or maybe they stayed at home instead of accepting the challenge of the job they received in another country. Look around, you will find similar examples in your life. How many sublime destinies have been thus wasted? Too few times do people realize that by doing what others want, they have given up the joy and adventure of life. They abandoned their own dreams in order to fulfill the dreams of others. They gave up a destiny that could have been extraordinary. Society has created boxes in which we live our lives. Each of us - immediately after birth - is handed the boxes in which he "must" stay. Generation after generation we pass each other the list of boxes to live in. We receive them from our parents and pass them on to our children. Let's be honest: there are limits that each of us needs to respect in order to live together. It's not okay to hit passers-by on the street or set your neighbor's house on fire (there are exceptions too 🙂 ) But at some point we will have to break cultural limitations if we are ever to live a fulfilling life. To be able to feel our hearts full of happiness we sometimes need to get out of the boxes we were raised in and draw them differently than our parents did. Or to abandon some boxes. Think out of the box. It is not about anarchy, but about deciding for ourselves what destiny we have and what is the lifestyle we want to live. Respecting of course the basic rules of living together with others.

4. I didn't allow myself to be happy

Have you ever met a man that you can't remember ever seeing with a big smile on his face and radiating happiness? Or maybe you are like that?

There are people who indulge in the emotional comfort of daily problems and do not want to be happy. Maybe they feel guilty about being happy, maybe they fear happiness. It may be unusual, but yes: some people don't want to be happy.In the face of death, however, they will regret that they did not smile more times and that they did not take the child for a walk in the park. They would give anything now to be many years ahead, and death to be long before them. And to be able to smile.Take the kid for an ice cream and out to the park, go out with your loved one for pizza or go skydiving. Move to another country, get a bike or do anything else that would make you happy. Make the choices that enrich your life and fulfill you.

5. Wish list

Another major regret of people in the face of death is that they didn't dream, they didn't aspire to something. They did not set out to achieve things that they wanted and did not mark achievements that were meaningful to them.Do you know what a bucket list is?It is a list of things or experiences you want to achieve before you die. I have various items on my list: take the baby to swimming lessons, visit Tibet, travel to the moon, attend the Rio carnival, play the piano, complete a triathlon, walk on hot coals, etc. .Over 100 ideas and I'm always adding more. There are no limits!Make a list of things you want to do before you die. Don't be shy: choose things that are easy to do, but also difficult. You have enough time ahead to achieve whatever you set out to do, no matter how difficult it may seem.Write a journal about these experiences and live those moments to the fullest.

6. I worked too much

I don't think there was anyone who on his deathbed wished he had worked more. To have spent more hours at work (job or own business) and less around the people he cared about or doing what fulfilled him.If you are a parent, don't give up a full family life, staying late at the office even when the child is waiting for you at home to play. Do not miss celebrations or football matches, when he would like to be with him and cheer him on.

7. I have not forgiven a loved one who wronged me

Have you seen in the movies (or maybe you know personally) those old women who hold grudges against each other, always condemning each other? Who carry with them mistakes for decades and are not able to forgive them.Continuing to harbor resentment and anger toward a person—or an event—will only bring you bitterness and pain. You will never be able to see the good and the happy side of life. In the end this can make you sick. Medical research has revealed the close connection between cancer and dissatisfaction with life.By holding on to the pain you experienced when you were wronged, you miss out on the joy of life. Don't take anything personally from what happened to you.Forgive those who have wronged you and forget what happened. Release the pain you keep inside.Seek forgiveness from those you have wronged. Stop carrying the pain and guilt inside you. In the end, the pain is extinguished by forgiveness.

8. I didn't keep in touch with friends

I recently had the pleasure of meeting a former schoolmate. We hadn't seen each other for 16 years and ran into each other on the street. It was a pleasure to talk again after so long and rekindle old memories.We "lose" many such friends over time. We remember some of them years later or meet them by chance on the street (or Facebook, in my case).Or we remember them when we are called to their funeral.I recently learned that a former schoolmate died in a stupid car accident. He was in his early twenties.Old friends have their value, even when the dust has settled on them. Who would you like to find and see again? Pick up the phone and call him/her. Go out for a coffee or beer and renew the relationship.Old and fulfilling relationships are like fine wine: they become more valuable as time goes by. Like an old wine, they need to be cared for, not left in a corner of memory.Find your friends, don't let friendships die.

9. I didn't believe it

On their deathbeds, another often-cited regret is that they never had the courage to take a leap of faith. To believe with all his being in something. It can also follow that idea in which I believe, but not necessarily.I am referring here to believing with the whole being, regardless of whether it is about religion, God, destiny, reincarnation. Or believing in love, immortality, a football team, etc. Just pure faith, no particular reason.

10. I had no children

Children are often seen as an inconvenience, an obstacle to professional achievement and financial success. Or a problem due to the difficulty of raising them. Look around and you will see hundreds of couples who have children and who you wouldn't say are perfectly prepared for it.It is not easy to raise children. For any parent there are many difficult moments. It may seem like a pragmatic (or convenient?) decision not to have children, or to have them only when you are accomplished/reach that desired position. Or when the stars align and the perfect moment arrives.But such choices can put you in the situation of reaching an old age alone. Will you have a fulfilled life alone? It is the destiny of the human species to leave a legacy after we die, including having children to represent us after our death.So think carefully before deciding not to have children.

11. I did not offer selfless help

When we give happiness around us, our soul lights up with even more happiness and beauty. Our spiritual being radiates well and grows more decadent with every selfless act of kindness we do.Remember how you felt when you helped someone who was in trouble without him/her knowing it. When you gave well, expecting nothing in return and without even the person being helped being aware of your effort.It's impossible not to have ever done that. It's like a balm for the soul, you feel it lift you up. Stand up for the one next to you when they are alone.For a long time I did not use to give anything to beggars on the street. I always asked myself the question "What will he do with the money?". What if he drinks them?”But I learned that in the end it doesn't matter what a beggar will do with the money you give him. You create to others, to the universe, to God - you send an intention, a deed that you want to help someone who has it worse than you.Some will buy bread for the child with that money, or buy medicine. Others will drink them. You can't control that, and you shouldn't care. But you can smile at the one who received scorn.Offer your help to the fallen.

What is a fulfilled life?

I set out to learn to live the rest of my life so that I finish it strong and with a smile on my face. Strong and calm inside, no regrets and no living in the past. Smiling at myself, at God, and at the rest of the world.I believe that a life lived in a sense of fulfillment and peace with yourself is a rich and meaningful life. The 11 regrets above remind me that life has ups and downs.And in order to achieve calm and peace, we often have to go through troubled waters, from which we will not come out unscathed.We choose a plan to get through them and learn from our mistakes to move forward. It is up to us how we will accept these scratches and wounds.I choose whether I will heal them to move on or stay trapped in them and everyday comfort.

In the end, when I look back I want to smile knowing that what I left behind is positive. That there is light and a fulfilled life.