Things You Can't Say four

Playing with the toy was an unexpected delight for me. In so many ways. As I never thought that a simple crinkle toy could make me happy. I mean that’s all it is. A little ball of plastic which crinkled so satisfyingly. This just surprises me how much I’m enjoying the dumb thing. It just makes me smile as I swat the thing across the room. Running after it as fast as I could move. Well, ‘running’ is generous for whatever the Hell I’m really doing right now. It’s just really walking faster than I was doing before. At any rate, I’m trying to catch up to the thing as I smile wider.

It was by far the most fun that I have had in a long time. Watching that toy rolling around on the floor as I ran. Swatting it as I kept my whole focus on it. Running or rather awkwardly walking after it faster after my toy. Laughing as I chased it and swatted the thing around the room. Maybe it was thanks to the fact that I’m not thinking about my situation. Or that I’m doing something other than eating, sleeping, and being petted by Master. When I swatted the toy behind me, I turned to see Master holding up his phone. Holding it up and pointing it at me. Eyes going wide as it took me a couple of seconds to realize that he was recording me playing. And I allowed my toy to roll as far away from me as humanly possible. I am unable to stop myself from freezing in place. When Master realized that I noticed him recording me, he sighed and set the phone down. Looking over at me as he let out a disappointed sigh. And I could see that he was a little embarrassed by the light flush on his face. Along with the look in his eye. But that didn’t matter to me in the slightest bit as I couldn’t believe he was filming me.

And why he was filming me.

I had this horrifying feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was going to show this to someone. My heart pounded hard in my chest at the very idea. Slowly realizing what else he could be doing. That he was secretly taking pictures of me and sending them to people that could either be his friend. Or people that were paying him to make someone into his pet and encourage them to do it as well. Something that I was also afraid of. Other people were doing this horrifying stuff to other women. Women that are as vulnerable myself and probably have no one…God, I can’t think like that. There might not be anyone looking for me right now. But that doesn’t mean that I can give up so damn easily. Though I am still very scared of what he was intending to do with the video. Also, he might be angry with me and might hurt me as a punishment. For what? I’m not entirely sure. All I’m sure is that he is probably mad at me.

“Aww, honey. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”,he apologized in a soft voice. To me. Something that I wasn’t expecting from him at all. As he doesn’t seem like the type to apologize even if he was wrong. This made me raise an eyebrow as he motioned for me to get closer. Making me afraid that he was going to harm me. Though I didn’t want to anger him as I started to inch closer to him. Afraid of what he would do if I didn’t immediately obey him. Soon as I was close enough, he started to pet my head. Keeping his touch light as humanly possible. In a soft voice, he continued,”Master was having so much fun watching his little Princess playing so happily like that. He couldn’t resist the urge to record your fun.”

“He promises that he wasn’t going to send the video to anyone else. Really, baby.”,he added. As if that would really make me feel any less terrified. Or any less worried. I would have been relieved by anyone seeing it. But I doubt that anyone that associated with Master would even help me. At all. If they’re friends with him, they won’t at all. And I wasn’t too sure that he wasn’t sending it to anyone else. There was something off about the way he was talking about it. Well talking in general. But the way that he was talking about the video made me highly doubt that he wasn’t sending it to anyone else. Maybe I’m just being paranoid about the video. Though I couldn’t be entirely sure if he wasn’t. The guy did kidnap me and do all of this to me. So, who’s to say that he isn’t sending this to anyone or posting it on any website?

I couldn’t make myself give him the benefit of the doubt. As I had this gut feeling that he had posted it somewhere. Mostly thanks to the strange look in his eyes. A part of me thinks that he doesn’t have any friends. After all he’s been home all damn day. No texts or calls. Though that doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t have any friends. He hasn’t mentioned that he has no friends in the slightest bit. Except for maybe online. That’s if he’s interested in socializing in internet groups. Not entirely sure if he would be the type to associate with that kind of thing. Either way, I really hope that Master isn’t doing that. It’s bad enough that he is seeing me naked the entire day. But the very idea of other people seeing me naked? That made me inwardly cringe as I stared down at my hands. Sniffling as I tried to resist the urge to cry. My vision was going blurry as I reminded myself that I shouldn’t be crying in front of him. Showing him, any kind of weakness was something that I didn’t want to do at any time. Even if it’s something small like crying. A second later, I heard him give another sigh as he scooted closer to me. So close that I could smell his terrible breath. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him as he unlocks his phone. Showing me the video that he had taken not that long ago. When I see myself in that video my face burned with humiliation.

Fully realizing just how much of my body is exposed to this freak. And how much of my genitals are on display. Especially when I was playing with the stupid crinkle toy from earlier. It made my face burn more with humiliation. It’s one of the most horrific things that I have seen in my life.  This wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part is that he posted this on his private Instagram. There were people that had seen it and I felt horrified. Yes, he was telling the truth that he hadn’t sent it to people. But he was lying to me that no one else was going to see it. People that were following his account were getting an eyeful of me and my nudity. Just like I feared they would be.

“Alright, Princess. I can tell that this post is upsetting you. So, Master is going to delete this off his profile.”,Master informed me. In a tone that was really kind and gentle. Like he was comforting a frightened animal or something. I suppose in his perspective, he is. And I felt strangely relieved as he deleted the post from his Instagram. Then he proceeded to delete it off his phone entirely. Which was good and I felt somewhat relieved. Though I was still uncomfortable with him taking the video in the first place. Lying to me and posting it without my permission. I suppose it’s a good thing that he deleted it from his phone and social media. But it doesn’t sit right with me at all. A second later, Master put his phone back into his pocket. Gently, he grips my chin and tilts it up to look at me. Smiling down at me, he questioned,”Princess? What do we say when a person does us a favor like this?”

“Thank you, Master. For deleting the video for me when you didn’t have to. I really appreciate it.”,I answer. Keeping my tone as polite and respectful as I can. As I feared that if I spoke with any form of sarcasm in my voice, he would hurt me. Though I don’t know if this guy could understand sarcasm in the slightest bit. I didn’t want to push my luck as I smiled at him. Feeling nervous he wouldn’t find what I said to be respectful enough. He let go of my chin to start stroking my hair gently. I let out a sigh of relief as he started to toy with my hair again. It was sort of more soothing than it had a right to be. A second later he started to fix my braids once again. Doing the braids over again to keep the cat ears in place on my head. Using some pink ribbons that he fished out from his pocket to do so. It was strangely sweet in a weird sort of way. I found myself enjoying having them in my hair as I stood next to him. Soon as he finished, he cooed,”Master is so sorry that he did that without your permission. It won’t ever happen again, he promises.”

“He’s going to do better in the future and ask you permission before I post anything.”,he continued. Like that was really the problem. The fact that he hadn’t asked me permission before recording or posting it. It was difficult for me to believe that Master wouldn’t do either of these things. That he wouldn’t just post or record me without permission. But I did my best not to show this on my face. Being afraid that if I conveyed this on my face, he would punish me for it. Possibly kill me. A fate that I obviously would want to avoid at all costs. A second later, he surprised me by leaning over and kissing my forehead. Then he asks,”So, does my Princess want dinner?”

“Is she hungry? Are you hungry?”,he cooed. Singing in a way that really makes me a little uncomfortable. I almost want to headbutt him for that kind of thing. But I do my best to suppress this urge I nod my head instead. Master slowly started to get to his feet as he looked at me. Leaning over a little he scratched my back in a sweet way. Grinning like the giant asshole that he is. Continuing to speak in that voice as he asked,”You really hungry little lady?”

“Yes, Master. I am very hungry!”,I answered. Hoping that this will put an end to this sort of talk. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect of that. It just encouraged him to speak like this to me. Gently he scratched behind the fake ears on the top of my head. Like that would really do anything at all. It was so annoying as I stared at him. In that gross tone of voice as he questioned,”You wanna eat baby? You want to eat, Princess?”

“Yes, please. I would really like to eat, Master.”,I answered. It was very true. I was starving and I wanted something to eat. Anything. Hell, I would even eat those gross-looking chili dogs again. Sure, they look disgusting, but they were better than not having anything at all. I just wanted something. Looking at him, I gave him my best begging face, and I couldn’t help myself. Hoping that I could possibly convince him to feed me if I begged well enough. After all, it works for cats and dogs.

“Okay, baby. I’ll order us two pizzas and cheesy breadsticks.”,he informed me. This was good. As I couldn’t remember the last time that I had pizza. Or really had enough money to buy pizzas. And this really could help me a whole lot. Deliveries are normally done by a human being. Who would hopefully see me and hear me. And that’s the most important part of this. He can hear me and see me and see how much distress that I am in. And he can HELP ME!!! I really needed to be sure that this person could see me. And that I can beg for whoever they are to help me. If I can’t do either of these things, then…then I’m sure that I wouldn’t be able to survive at all. Then I know that I’ll have no other chance of escaping this house. And I…I don’t know what I would do if I failed to get help.

“Oh, and don’t you worry your pretty little head about anyone seeing us.”,he stated. In a tone that felt like he had read my mind. And I froze as he started to pet my back in a gentle way. One that felt more sinister than I expected. I did my best not to convey the horror that I felt as he did so. Ignoring the chill that went down my spine as I faked a smile. He adds,”The local pizza shop sends orders by drone a lot.”

“My house is too far into the mountains for them to be able to drive up here.”,he explained to me. This was something that made my blood turn to ice in my veins. His home being on a mountain wasn’t good. Especially with the fact that people wouldn’t be able to help me or come here. And in places like these neighbors aren’t normally nearby enough to be able to do much. Or know that I’m even here. If there are neighbors, they’re probably miles away from Master’s house. Even if I managed to get the Hell out of here he would still catch up to me. Any hope of being saved by some random person or pizza delivery person died. It was almost enough to make me give up. But I wasn’t going to. I was going to get out of this horrible house. With all its horrible smells and other nasty things. And I was going to be able to call the cops. Pushing away those feelings of dread as I kept that fake smile on my face. Following him out of the playroom.

Or whatever he wants to refer to that room.

A few seconds later we got to the stairs, and I tensed up. Fully remembering the issue that came to mind earlier. Going up those steep stairs earlier was bad enough. In fact, it was one of the hardest tasks that I had ever had to do. Okay I’m exaggerating a little bit. It wasn’t the hardest thing to do. But the idea of going down these stairs with my body the way it is right now? It made me feel queasy. My mind flashing with horrific images of myself getting terribly injured. Maybe cracking my skull on that hard wooden floor below. Dying immediately when it happened. Or worse. Neck breaking on one of the steps as I rolled down them. Neither of which were an ideal thing that I wanted to happen. No one would want to go out like that. While I stood there, I pondered how I was going to do this seemingly impossible task. Frowning a little as I stood next to the railing and giving a soft whimper. It was horrible. While I thought of my next move, Master knelt next to me. Staring at the stairs like I was. It seemed that he could sense my hesitation about the stairs. And it probably didn’t take him long to realize that I couldn’t go down them. At least not safely or as easily as I had done going up them. Without saying a word, he carefully scooped me up in his arms and stood straight up.

He rested my cheek against his shoulders as he started descending the stairs. My thighs were grasping his waist as tightly as I could do. With how limited they were in stupid leg restraints. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders as carefully as I could. Afraid that if I tightened my grip that I would anger him. After all, he could just drop me down these stairs and not care. A few seconds later he was walking us towards the living room. Gently setting me down on the floor gently. Then he hurriedly got his phone out of his pocket once more and ordered on it. It didn’t take long for me to realize he wasn’t going to call anyone at all and was probably using the website. Which I could have taken advantage of if he had done exactly that. It really put a wrench in my plans as I stared at the floor. God, why can’t I ever catch a damn break?

“Alrighty, kitten. Master has ordered a large pepperoni pizza and a large sausage pizza. Along with stuffed cheesy breadsticks.”,he informed me. Petting my back with one hand as he put his phone into his pocket again. Gently petting my back once more and sitting down on his armchair. Then he motioned for me to get closer to him. Which makes me wonder why he didn’t just sit me on his lap instead. But I didn’t dare voice any of this out loud to him. I wasn’t a complete idiot. Instead, I just did as he wordlessly demanded of me and got closer to his hand. Allowing him to pick me up and set me down on his lap. Cooing so gently as he did so.

‘Helping’ me lay down in his sort of comfy lap for a second. Getting the remote a moment later to turn on the T.V. Master’s lap is a whole lot more comfy than I anticipated it would be. Then again, I don’t think I had ever pictured myself on someone else’s lap. It’s just too damn weird for me to think of. Again, there’s nothing in school that could ever prepare you for this. It wasn’t really all that bad, I guess. He hasn’t done that much to me, and it could be worse. Master hasn’t really done all that terrible stuff to me so far. Aside from the creepy plug inside of me. Or drugging me…I can’t be allowing myself to think of this already. Yes, this asshole has given me food and ‘cared’ for me. And treated me sort of ‘kindly’ if you’re that much of a messed up human being. But I’m not. I don’t like being treated like a fucking pet. I’m a human being. And if it’s the last thing that I do, I was going to escape this Hellhole and get him arrested. I suppose that I could be grateful that he’s not feeding me pet food like a monster would. It’s the smallest point that I was going to give him.

In the moment, I was going to just enjoy the petting that was happening. Not dwelling upon the horrible thoughts that were clumping inside of my head. Along with the annoyingly overly sweet baby talk that he was doing right now. It was just meh. And made me want to punch out his teeth a lot. It was so annoying. Okay so it was very, very annoying. But not the end of the world if I’m being honest. But for now, I’m going to suck it up and be the good ‘kitty’ that he wants me to be. For as long as I can stomach this bullshit.

“Princess, has master told you what a cutie pie you are?”,he asked of me. Catching me completely off guard with this. Raising an eyebrow, I glanced at him. Trying to understand why he was saying this at all. Tilting my head to the side as he looked down at me. Ignoring the stupid anime that he had turned on. It was so strange to me. Why was he complimenting me like this for? He cooed,”It’s true. You’re my pretty little blondie bombshell.”

“Master is so happy to have such a gorgeous baby.”,he praised. Grinning widely as he continued to compliment me. Words that were uncomfortable for me to listen to at all as I laid there. What the fuck is going on with him right now? Why the Hell was he saying this creepy shit? My face started to burn as I stared at him. I am mentally praying that this compliment storm will be over soon. It was just so damn difficult, and I hated all of this so much. Softly, he continued,”My sweet little, Princess. And no one is ever going to take you away from me.”

“Not ever. I would rather die than let anyone take my kitten away from me.”,he vowed. Which sent a shiver of fear down my spine. My mouth ran dry as I fully realized that he wasn’t joking or anything. He was completely serious. And the idea of being with him forever was horrifying for me. I would rather die than be around him forever. To be his stupid little ‘kitten’ for as long as we both might live. If he died before me than I would be seriously screwed. Since I’m not able to use my fingers or stand up straight. Then I wouldn’t be able to get free at all. I probably would die of starvation or dehydration or something like that. I guess if that happened then I would have to kill…God, I can’t think of that possibility.

It wasn’t helping me in the slightest bit.

“Aww, I know that it’s a lot to hear. Master promises that our lives are going to be perfect once you get used to it.”,he assured me. Or tried to. It took me a second to realize that I was trembling in his grasp. And that probably caused him to the fact that I was terrified by what he had said. Slowly starting to calm down as he petted me once more. Gently stroking me from my head to my butt in a way that helped me settle in his lap. It was so strange. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything as I lay there. Master continued,”I promise that I’ll make it easy on you to get used to, Princess. Right now, you may not understand or see that, but eventually you will.”

“And our lives are going to be so perfect once you do.”,he finished. Sounding so hopeful that I’ll be perfectly fine with being his human pet. Cat human. Whatever the Hell he wants to call this horrible bullshit. At any rate this doesn’t feel like life at all. Not one that is worth living for me. Someone else could possibly find this a good life to live but I don’t. It’s just another form of Hell and I could hardly wait to find a way to escape it. There was going to be a way for me to escape it. And I’m going to find it. No matter what.

After his compliments, we lapse back into a comfortable silence. And he continues to watch that stupid anime show. About those creepy zombie High school that I don’t get. I just ignore it as I stare at the wall in front of me. Pretending that it isn’t on at all. And not listening to it. What kind of weirdo finds a show like that interesting at all? Looking at Master, I realize that he’s definitely that kind of weirdo. Some people were probably enjoying it for the zombies. But I’m sure that he was enjoying it for those teenage girls’ bodies. It grosses me out either way. Though after a few minutes I start to think that I’m being a little too harsh on the show. It could actually be a decent show that has weird proportions for the teenage girls. And that it really isn’t as terrible as my mind is making it out to be. After all, I might be thinking that because of how I think Master is possibly enjoying it.

I could be just misjudging the whole situation based on my…yeah, no. I’m pretty sure he’s just a pervert.

Especially with the boob physics that were on display in the episode that I saw hours ago. It was sort of annoying to me. I just don’t understand what the appeal of it is. And quite frankly, I don’t really want to know Master’s reasoning at all. So, I just keep my attention on the wall in front of me. Trying not to get too deep into my thoughts as I laid there. Fearing that Master would be upset if I appeared spacey or out of it. As I feared he would hurt me if I didn’t act the way he wanted. Or do whatever the Hell, he wanted me to do. If I’m not entirely present, he would probably get angry with me. Maybe even beat me.

A fate that I really wish to avoid.

Yet it was very difficult for me to do right now. As I couldn’t stop myself from zoning out and getting lost in thought. Drifting in and out of them as I stared at that blank wall. While my thoughts dragged me into a world of weird imagination. More than I probably should be doing if I’m honest. I’m fairly certain that this is some kind of coping mechanism, but it feels counterproductive to me. And I did my best to avoid being lost in thought. For a moment I realized that I should be doing more. Moving around the room isn’t going to be an option and I know that. As Master is going to be upset with me if I fidget or tried to get away from him. So, I did one thing that feels really annoying for me. I watched the anime that he was watching. It was stupid. But it was something that would keep me out of my thoughts and in the moment. It would help me avoid making Master angry and I needed to avoid that.

By any means necessary. And if I must watch a terrible anime that feels like it’s just fan servicey then I would do it. Despite how much I hate the way it is. And would rather slam my head against a wall, I would do it.

A few seconds later, I started to hear a weird noise. It was kind of like a toy airplane or something like that. And I frowned as I glanced towards where I thought the noise was coming from. The front door? Or where I think the front door could be. It makes me sit up straight as I turn my attention towards it. Master allows me to sit up as he looked over my head towards the noise. Finally hearing it over the perverted anime. Grinning a little bit, he set me down on the floor and got to his feet. Heading towards the hallway that seemingly led to the front door. He muttered,”Oh, good. Dinner’s finally here. It’s about time it showed up.”

“I’m starving. Come along, Princess.”,he called to me. I inwardly sighed as I looked at him. Of course, he wasn’t going to allow me to be alone at any time. Why the Hell did I think that he might let me? So, I walked after him as fast as I could. It isn’t all that fast as I’m getting tired from moving on my hands and knees like this. But he didn’t get upset as I moved slowly after him. Right to that front door. Which was big and looked like it was made from thick metal. One that I doubted could easily be knocked down. It has several locks that would make that blind guy from ‘Don’t Breathe’ look reasonable. And he unlocked most of these from one key. That was kept high above me on a table that’s bolted down to the floor. I stared down at them and realized that there’d be no way for me to get that key. Well, no easy way for me to get it.

I wasn’t going to allow this to deter me in the slightest. Sure, it’s high up. But I was going to find a way to get it down. Not today. But someday. And I kept my composure as I watched him unlock each lock that he put on that damn door. Not allowing myself to dwell on my toxic thoughts.

A second later, he opened the door wide to reveal the large wooden porch. And my heart sank to the floor as I saw his front yard. The yard itself was massive and there was a huge forest outside of it. Even if I escaped there was no way that I could navigate it without getting lost. I’m not even sure where we are specifically. So, there’s a high chance that there are predators that could kill me out there. If they don’t kill me, he probably would if I don’t manage to kill him. God, I can’t even picture how I could escape without having to kill Master to do it. I’m not even sure if I’m going to be able to do that. Not because I care about the horrible bastard.

I don’t.

But mostly thanks to the fact that I couldn’t get a hold of a knife or anything in this state. And I doubt that he would keep anything like that in reach of me. I think he’s a complete moron, but I doubt he is. And I desperately try not to think about it as he brings in the pizzas and breadsticks. Smiling at me as he sets them down on the table that he got the keys from. Winking at me as he locks everything back up again. Not that I could even begin to think of trying to escape right now. And with how smug he looks; I’m starting to realize that he showed me that on purpose. To make me realize just how doomed I was and that I wouldn’t easily be able to escape him. Hell, he probably expected me to start crying as I stared at him.

I didn’t. And I did my best to keep that stupid smile on my face as I started to follow him into the living room. When we did, he set the food on the floor. Telling me gently to wait as he needed to get a plate and my bowl. Quickly, he headed to the kitchen as I stood next to the pizzas. My mouth was watering as I impatiently waited for him to come back. It’d been so long since I had a slice of warm pizza. As anywhere that I had been getting pizza it was normally lukewarm or cold. And as cliché as it sounds it wasn’t always full or…yeah…anyway. I just wanted a slice of pizza so bad. Pouting, I sighed as I watched the hallway to the kitchen. After a little while later he comes back with a plate for himself and my bowl. Gently, he set down my bowl and opened the pepperoni pizza box. Master put one slice in it. Ripping it up into little pieces so that I could eat it a lot more easily. Then he set two slices down on his paper plate as he leaned back against the armchair. Watching the T.V while we ate in relative silence.