There was only one rule: Don’t open the door. Once my brain slowly returned to fully functioning and my eyes were able to focus, that sign was the first thing I saw. Pulling myself into a standing position while stuffed in this dimly lit coffin-size room was a challenge. Next, I need to find what is causing the continuous swish-swish-swish sound emanating from somewhere above my head. Last, but not least, finding out how the hell I got here.
“Good to see you’re finally awake, Michael.”
“Lilly? Are you okay? Do you know where we are?”
“I know exactly where you are because I put you there. My name is Lilith, not Lilly and we are still on our date. Having fun so far?”
“I was until I woke up in here. Now how about letting me out of this…this… pit you put me in so we can call it a night?”
“Leave—now? The night is just getting interesting. Just open the door if you want to go. I won’t stop you.”
“The sign says not to.”
“Oh, you can read. That’s an improvement over most of my dates.”
“Very funny, Lilith. What’s making that swishing sound?”
“I’m glad you noticed, Michael. I’m a big Edgar Allen Poe fan and that is my pendulum. Your description of being in a pit was right on the money. Since you are in a hurry, let me give you your options. 1) You can wait for the pendulum to swing on by, or 2) Open the door to see what awaits you. Spoiler alert, are you frightened of snakes?”
“Snakes, I taught Patrick how to chase them from Ireland. You see, Lilith, my full name is Archangel Michael. Better luck next time!”
About the Creator
Mark Gagnon
My life has been spent traveling here and abroad. Now it's time to write.
I have three published books: Mitigating Circumstances, Short Stories for Open Minds, and Short Stories from an Untethered Mind. Unmitigated Greed is do out soon.
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More stories from Mark Gagnon and writers in Horror and other communities.
Lesson Learned
There was only one rule: don’t open the door. The rule is posted on the door in big bold letters. Of course, instead of scaring everyone, it had the opposite effect on curious children. There was one child braver, or more reckless than all the others. He was the one that Marlon, as leader of the commune, had to find a way to make him understand what was at stake. Scolding didn’t work, making him stand in the corner was ineffective, even a swift kick in the butt was only a temporary fix. Within the next day he was poking around the door latch again. As a last resort, Marlon decided to try logic.
By Mark Gagnonabout a year ago in Horror
The Girl in the Car
I was eight when I saw myself in the back of a stranger's car. Not a girl who looked like me. Me. It was a Marfa afternoon. The kind where heat makes the air thick and time stops mattering. Sally and I were running through the sprinkler, burning ourselves on hot concrete, bored and perfect.
By Leslie L. Stevens 7 days ago in Horror
Comments (11)
This was fun. Good work.
oooo! loved the twist at the end
This was so clever! Well done Mark. Good luck in the challenge.
an amazing writer you are😊
Oooooohhhh! Plot twist!!! She's back and I think this might be the first time she's not got the full upper hand!! Love this Papa Mark!!! 😁
Great take on the challenge!
Yayyyyy it's Lilith! Donna is gonna loveeeeee this so much! The twist at the end was brilliant! Loved your story so much!
Oopsie! Clever comeuppance, Mark! Great challenge entry!
I chuckled , was I supposed to chuckle.. It was just the options this is good
Something tells me there will not be a second date.
Anything but snakes!!