Noxious
For the Spooky Micro Challenge
“There was only one rule: don’t open the door.”
“You made that up,” spits Harry, snatching my shirt collar and twisting the material round my throat. “Just because you’re scared.”
He lets go, shoving me away. I sink to the ground, panting, the rock wall digging into my spine. My teeth chatter as the damp seeps through the thin cotton material, goosebumps crawling across my skin.
“What’s that?” I whisper. “Listen.”
I hold my breath, leaping to my feet as rock fragments patter to the floor, water trickling down the sides of the tunnel.
“This was your idea, he says, sloshing his trainer through the puddle. “You wanted to find it and now you’re wimping out. Pathetic.”
I nod at the door: “Do you think anyone’s still in there…”
“… Just ghosts, wooooooooo,” giggles Harry, shining the torch under his chin. “You know everyone died.”
I blink as the torch beam blinds me: “Harry, don’t.”
I step forward, recoiling as cobwebs cling to my hair. My fingers slide across the door and brush the peeling yellow sign: “They entombed them,” I whisper. “After the accident, after the chemicals…”
“You going in or what?”
“I...”
"Pathetic."
Harry rolls his eyes and reaches for the handle. I sway, my head spinning, the air’s so musty down here, I can taste it.
“Wait,” I say, pushing his hand away. “Who knows what they were making. The lab was secret. Required the highest security clearance. Nobody was allowed through the door unless they worked there.”
"And?” smirks Harry, winking as the door swings open. “See, I told you…”
He pauses and coughs, dropping to his knees, the words dying on his lips.
About the Creator
Caroline Craven
Scribbler. Dreamer. World class procrastinator.
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
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More stories from Caroline Craven and writers in Horror and other communities.
Let's Don't Do This
"I just can't do this anymore..." "Do what?" What can't you do? Put gas in your own car? I swear to God you make me take care of everything, don't you? You know I'm on my way to work right now but that never stops you from bothering me, does it?"
By Shirley Belk7 days ago in Fiction
Comments (36)
Great Top Story! Harry paid dearly for his disobedience!!!
Wow!!! Bravo, Caroline. This was expertly done. Your story and characters were distinct and I loved the way you unfolded this tale. Such tension! I loved this. Congratulations on Top Story!!
'Sup Cc - So Creepy ..! I have to confess, for some reason, I've always had severe 'Coulrophobia?' ~ Never to even open the door to Trick-or-Treators. bud, Jj
I love a good teen scream! This was perfect. The dialogue really kept it moving. Well done!
Great Story!!! Congratulations on top story!!!
The ending— lovely choice of words, “dying on his lips”. Congrats on top story!
Very well done! Congratulations on the top story.
Sooooo Gooood
This was wonderfully written. Great entry and congrats on this top story
I wouldn’t be brave enough to open that door either! 😬
Ugh wow, that leaves a taste in the mouth! Great tale and top Top Story 😁
So good Caroline! What a creative unique take on the challenge. The narrative voice was incredible. I felt like I was right there with them.
Shut the front door! Or in this case the lab door!! Such a great micro, Caroline! The last line was a brilliant one! The dialogue was so good too!
Great entry! Well deserved Top Story.
Brilliant! Glad this got TS 😁
Good fright for sure! Eeeek! Congratulations on your Top Story Caroline!
Fantastic! It's scary ✨💫👍💥
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
I love this
you such a talent
Oh Caroline!!!! I would love a follow up to this!!! Sooo good!! Congrats on Top Story!!
WAY. TO. GO. I knew this was TS soon as I read it. Great job.
Oh he deserved that, but what about the storyteller? Goosebumps... Well, congrats to Top Story!!
Great job. Harry's hubris was so well conveyed and your descriptions made my skin crawl appropriately.
Oh heck, Harry. Very, very well written, Caroline.