My Mythical Ancestor

History comes hauntingly alive as I walk barefoot over the white sand along side the pristine azure colored water of the Southern Ocean.

I am feeling very sad as I tread my footprint in the sand not really looking or caring where I am going, just ruminating over the argument.

Having been so in love with my Egyptian lover for ten years and I had just learned earlier in the day that he had been cheating on me.

To make matters worse I had learned about this from the woman that he was sleeping with. "We have been in relationship for quite some time", she told me sarcastically.

I felt sick in the stomach and my whole body felt drained of blood, my emotions raw I answered her saying, "Well you must have more money than I or you are a better fuck".

She responded, "Obviously I am the better fuck".

I drove to my favorite beach alone. not remembering driving, crying and feeling dead inside.

The water had always been my savior, I always feel at peace near water,- a healing, but ironically the water had almost been my death.

When I was two years old, I was resuscitated after falling in my Aunties large goldfish pond. I was found floating face down in my little white frilly dress and my long blonde hair floating around me.

I am a direct descendant of Jacquetta Luxembourg, connected to Melusina, a beautiful woman a water goddess-half woman half mermaid. Some of the women in our family have inherited powers of the other world where she lives. Melusina is a shapeshifter, like quick silver, she can flow from one thing to another. She is like water.

I spent most summer days swimming in the river with my best friend and my Labrador who loved to float with the current on the lilo, grabbing an audience from the riverbank.

Sometimes my sister and her fiance would swim with us. He would grope me, touching me and laughing pretending this was normal and making it seem like a game.

I passed the Scuba Diving Open Water Certificate diving in the Southern Ocean during winter wearing a full wet suit and feeling confident with a capable instructor. During the course the group had to journey swimming through a bull kelp forest, where we encountered a White Pointer Shark. The Captain of the boat that transported the group from the shore said, "You do no that where there are seals there are sharks!" There were many seals, so on jumping into the ocean from the boat I did feel some hesitation.

The White Pointer Shark swam quickly away from the group and the scuba instructor was not worried about it turning to the group signing with the scuba okay sign and then pointing our way forward toward our destination an underwater cave named the Ballroom.

After squeezing my body through a hole in the rock into a cave, I was amazed to see brightly colored fish of all shapes and sizes bobbing, dancing in the current as if they were in a ballroom.

My friend's boyfriend was an experienced scuba diver and had been working in Antarctica, in hindsight I really don't know what this fact had to do with me trusting him enough to scuba dive, putting my life in his hands.

My girlfriend who almost drowned on the scuba diving course because she was slammed into the jetty by a wave decided that we must go scuba diving with her boyfriend and catch lobsters in our hands in the Southern Ocean. She assured me that it would be fine because her boyfriend had been working in Antarctica.

I did not know really how this would justify any confidence in his ability to scuba dive but took on the offer pertaining to my adventurous spirit.

When we arrived at Piccaninny Point, I noticed the atmosphere felt heavy and my intuition was warning me not to scuba dive there, but my friends were excited.

The place was isolated and picturesque, the ocean was like glass,flat with a crystal shimmer. The instructions were to snorkel out past the reef because "that is where the lobsters are!". One quarter of the way to the reef and the ocean changed in total reverse.

Before we had time to submerge the three of us were caught in a massive rip. I was underneath the water being tumbled, the straps holding my scuba tank was under stress, as the tank was being ripped from my back. The scuba reg my life support underwater was being ripped out of my mouth. The scuba mask was filling with water. Tumbling like being in a washing machine somersaulting in the sea out of control clutching at my reg, to not have it stolen from me and hoping for dear life the the straps hold firm the scuba tank to my back because there is nothing else I can do.

Somehow like magic something, not by our own power we were pushed out of the rip and pushed backed to shore. My friends's boyfriend first who was no help art all letting us struggle from weakness to stand up, he never offered us his hand. He watched us struggle and stumble through the rock pools to eventually fall flat on our backs onto the sand from exhaustion.

I believe Melusina saved us that day. Melusina my mythical ancestor I can hear your hauntingly beautiful song and I am healed.