kidnapped

In the end, you suddenly wake up. The light is low, the furniture moves like shadows; the scent here grows inward like a cold wrap. You look around — living room, house — but something isn’t right; all the walls are carrying gazes.

I’m standing in front of you, too close, my face half in the shadow. Why that look? Don’t make that face. You’re alive. This is your house. Actually — right now, this is my stage. Hey, hey, you don’t need to curse like that. Relax, we’re friends...

Who am I? Hmm, my name is Felix Bodgen, and right now, I’m just a "technician" in the city, but my hobby is killing people. Wow, no need to throw yourself around like that, relax, man, relax.

What am I looking for? It’s not always a definition you understand. I have a need — a hole where growth isn't spoken of, filled with moments of pure fear. Well, look: It’s not always about stupid hatred; it’s about seeing your thoughts shrink when they have no hold. Do you feel that? No? Or do you not? No way!

I was sure all teenagers today, at some point, cut themselves or something like that — sucks, turns out I was wrong. Hey, enough with the insulting words already, I have feelings too, you know. I’m telling you, I don’t do what I do because my parents abused me or anything, I do it because causing too much harm to myself would make me limited, and what’s the point of being limited? That’s exactly why hurting others feels so right.

Who are you calling a sick dick, kid? If I were you, tied to a chair like that, I’d behave as nicely as possible to the one who tied me to that chair. Didn’t your mom teach you manners? Even when I slaughtered her, she didn’t curse that much. Hey, that’s what you get for cursing my parents, kid.

Now, stop acting like I shot you, it was just a weak jab to the stomach. What did you ask, what did I do to your parents? I covered them with this blanket so you wouldn’t faint from the trauma. I planned it so you’d have a choice. You still want it? Well, it’s your decision. It’s on your responsibility.

What did I say? I knew you wouldn’t stand it. Me? I tried to study the limits of humanity — where the filling ends and where the fear begins. And when the blanket opens — most people fall into deep anxiety. You’re not as strong as you thought, are you?

Lucky I'm used to these things, if I had pulled the covers off while I was standing next to you I'd be covered in your vomit right now.

Yo, kid, get up, sorry I knocked you out like that, but yeah, I reminded you, every time you try to bring up my family or something, you're going to get kidnapped. Enough, don't start crying to me now. If it makes it any easier then I want to know that I slit their throats first, quick and easy death. Sick dick, huh? Was I really a sick dick? Is this the man you and your parents believe in. Did I go to hell for that? Come on.

The Christian was not the son of God, how can a lowly mortal be the son of God? He can't! Ha!

You already told me I was going to hell, but, but let me challenge that, maybe let me speak for a second without you screaming at me for a change?! The Christian was a fake man; he tried to rise to greatness by using the names of the Supreme Lord, and we all know how well that worked for him, he ended up on a cross. Ended up... ha. But you know what? Lucifer is the real son of God.

Do you think that's funny? So come on, tell me what makes more sense, an angel being the son of God or some 18-year-old Middle Eastern whore's son being the son of Satan? You keep talking about hell like it's an empty threat. Did you already go tell me that my drum is destined? Let me challenge that. I'm not afraid of the word—I'm part of the show.

Everything here is well written: characters enter, characters leave, and the motive—fear—grabs everyone in the palm of your hand. If there is a playwright in this world, he is a madman. And I, among actors, always know how to entertain an audienc

Will God punish me? No, no he doesn't. God doesn't punish those who take an active part in his universal theatrical performance! Do you think I'm delusional? Ha! The world may seem like a joke. But, if you just look, you can see that there's a ton of crazy shit going on here.

This world is the ultimate form of entertainment. Something so crazy and amazing couldn't happen on its own. There has to be some playwright who writes the stories and plays of nearly seven billion people and such a playwright can only be described as God! Now, as one of the leading actors in his play, there's no way God is going to punish me for my actions, God loves them! Again with those insults.

Okay, so you think God doesn't like suffering, screaming, blood and pain, why wouldn't he like all of those things? Great drama always involves something terrible happening to one of the characters, otherwise the story is just boring, have you ever read a play by Sophocles? Oedipus isn't exactly a comic story, the man murders his father and fathers children with his mother, and it's considered one of the literary classics that man has, so, so if we, the inferior humans, enjoy such a perversion, why shouldn't God enjoy them?

How dare I compare myself to God you ask? Well, he made me in his image, you should know that by now. Okay, it's time to rip your heart out. Make sure you say hi to your parents when you meet them.

Oh boy, you've got a kick, you're like a rhino, I didn't see that coming at all, really... But yeah, I guess you can't make any more provocative comments now that you're having trouble breathing properly. What? What did you say? Stop coughing and say it again, why am I taking hearts? To summon our saviors and saviors like Thulehu of course! Just... just... I'm kidding, it's symbolic for me, that and I feed them to my dog, he loves the texture of moving meat, you know? And speaking of dogs, yours wouldn't stop barking at me so I had to put him down, sorry!

What? I can't understand what you're trying to say because of all this crying. Are you going to run away? Try to free yourself from your chains? Show me a trick. I'll give you a chance to prove it—try hard. Maybe you'll succeed. Maybe you won't. I like to see someone really try.

Do you wish I'd be silent or stay in some moral lowland? Believe me—that's not what concerns me. What does me good is to see others be decisive, the hesitation, the momentary realization that they really have no control. That's food for me. I don't seek destruction for destruction's sake; I'm interested in the moment when all the lights go out and everything is still. That moment, brief and searing, is the whole story for me.

Do you hope I'm going to rot in hell? I already told you that's not very likely, what's more, I'm going to end up rotting six feet underground if anything.

Do you hope I'm going to be raped to death by a bunch of sex-hungry prisoners in a small cell? How original of you, Yadlon, you're tearing! Although you have a bit of a nobleman here for your age, but yeah, the cops will never get to me if they keep acting the way they are now. So go ahead. Tell them whatever you choose. Tell them everything I did — or get rid of your conscience. Give them the benefit of the doubt. I don't need their approval. I need their reaction. That's what drives me. Wait a minute, I have an idea! G-e-n-i-us.

I'll let you go now, and you, you go and report me to the cops, tell them everything, and that's how they'll finally catch me. Am I completely off the rails now? No... I told you, I'm looking for something very specific, finally. Now making people feel bad makes me feel good, even better than getting an erection. I'm really addicted to this damned entertainment.

Here, I cut the cables, get out of here.

Yes! Really!

Yes, yes, I'll let you go, 'Get the hell out of here, kid.

Come on, stop crying already and go report to the police about how I abused you, 'Tell them I fucked your father's body or something, you're exaggerating.

And don't let the door hit you where the good Lord put a notch for you, sweetie!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !

You didn't really think I was going to let you go, did you? Enough! This is what you get for being so innocent, little boy, a knife stuck right between your shoulder blades in your back! Or the look in those eyes of yours! How I wish you could see it now, it's just pure horror!

Hey, let me teach you one last thing before I send you to the afterlife. Horror in its purest form is not a static state but a dynamic one. The more intense the fear, the more emotions die in a person. The moment when every last drop of hope turns to despair, that's when pure horror is born. And I live for moments like these!

Damn it ; I'm just addicted to this damned entertainment.

Be a good boy and tell your parents Uncle Felix sends his regards when you see them.