I Took The Vaccine, It's Changing Me

Look I'm not an anti vaccine or anything, I do my best to get my regular flu shots every year and with Covid slowing dying down a bit I figured it was the best to get into the new vaccine. There are multiple vaccines out now but all of them weren't ready for the general public. That's when I begun my search to see if there were any more producers out there for it.

I had stumbled across one through an obscure website that took way too long to find. It's called the Schreber Vaccine. it seemed fine. they had listed how many vaccines total it will take to become vaccinated and the potential side effects, naturally death was one of them and the exclaimer "This product is not tested or regulated by the FDA and use of this product should be taken with extreme caution."

Well they wouldn't push customers away with these things if they didn't know what they were doing, it must just be legal mumbo jumbo, I thought to myself. In large blue print on the bottom of the screen were the words "Schedule your in home vaccination now". Wow they go all out to come to you, that's customer service. I went ahead and scheduled my in home dose for the next day.

At roughly 3pm the Doctor or vaccine administrator arrived with no more than a single knock at my door. not thinking anything of that awkward pause i had answered the door and greeted them inside. there were two of them at my door, one a burly fellow with an old-school fedora style hat kind of looking like Danny DeVito was rehearsing a role as Dick Tracy, and a slender younger woman in what seemed like a WWII era nurses outfit sleek pencil skirt with the bonnet to match and a red lipstick that blood would even be envious of its color.

"Hello, Darrin correct, I'm Dr. Parker and this is my Collège Pamela. We are here to administer your first of 4 doses, is that right?"

the burly little Dr. exclaimed. "yeah I suppose, do I have to pay first though I figured...." I was cut off abruptly by The hot nurse Pamela setting up the bench for the sanitized needle. "yes my boy we can get to the payment later but as of now we are looking at doing a public service you see, the scarcity of the vaccine makes it more detriment that we bring ours to the forefront." the Dr. grinned.

"so first come first serve then?" i asked. "Precisely, the more we work with now and get vaccinated the faster we can jump forward in the market. Those bastards at Johnson and Johnson don't stand a chance" With that being said the bench and the syringe was ready. I lifted my sleeve and prepared for the little needle prick. It was done faster and simpler than the flu shot normally is. " there we go all done, sorry but because of COVID i cant give you a lollipop" the Dr. said jokingly as the nurse just shot a wink. "Best we be off now, many more to help, here is the card for your next dose we will be here promptly and to evaluate you on any symptoms. take care"

He handed me a slip of paper for the next Wednesday, and just as fast as the needle entered my skin, they were gone. no car no smoke. nothing. maybe the neighbor had an appointment too, I thought.

Feeling good about getting on track with the vaccine I spent the day leisurely and just hung out watching movies. The next day however I felt a cold coming on. I wasn't sick it just felt like the standard post vaccine blues. light runny nose and chills. like the onset of a cold. I thought nothing of it.

The feeling continued for the entire week leading up to the next dose. When Wednesday rolled around i prepared to ask about these symptoms as normally they only lasted a day or so. The Dr. and Pamela arrives promptly on time with that singular knock again. I had let them in and noticed that the clothes they were wearing were the exact same as the previous visit. Must be uniforms I thought.

As Pamela was getting the bench set up for the second dose i asked the Dr. "hey I have been feeling a little under the weather since the first dose, is that normal?" "Yeah , its just the ant-bodies at work, no harm done, this next dose will mitigate that" he exclaimed. just like before I had lifted my sleeve enough for the syringe but this time it was extremely painful. was the needle bigger? I didn't complain because just as the needle left my arm i felt amazing. like i could take on the world. "Wow, thanks doc. That works fast." "That's the point my boy, now we better be off" the Dr. said as Pamela was packing up. Once they reached the doorway i followed them out to peak outside the window just to see them leave. once again they were gone. Poof! like they were never here.

This time I didn't get a piece of paper with a date or time. this time I received an email. all it said was. Your 3rd dose will be scheduled after you have had your first successful meal. I had no clue what that meant. I was feeling hungry though. I went to my fridge to make a sandwich, just a simple ham and cheese would suffice as i had plans to go out to eat with a friend tonight. The moment it touched my lips i vomited. It was the most disgusting thing i had ever tasted. Bile evacuated from my head like a hydrant running loose. "OH GOD" I exclaimed. did the food go bad. I checked the expiration dates and they seemed fine. Maybe the dose made me allergic to cheese or meat. I don't know. but I was starving. I managed to choke down the bread. even though it tasted like rancid ass. Dinner was right around the corner anyways so I might as well just wait it out.

I met my friend that night at the Figo De'gayo Italian restaurant downtown. he was an old buddy from high-school that just moved back to town. he is a professor now at the local college campus. "Hey John, you're a biology and medical professor correct?" i had asked him. " yeah, are you looking to study?" he answered. "Nah, school wasn't much my thing. I just wanted to ask if you have heard of the new Schreber Vaccine, I got my first two doses recently and i feel great" I said. "I've honestly never heard of them. must be private sector in the manufacturing then because there are only a couple companies known to produce it and they haven't even gone to the public completely yet." he said fairly concerned. "Be careful with this one you have no clue what could happen". Just then our food had arrived and to put it in the highest of respects, it smelled like a rotten carcass that has been splayed on the hot tar on the side of the road for at least a month. i did my best to keep my composure and had asked John if the food smelled okay to him. After he assured me that it was fine he promptly took a taste of it to be sure. "Yeah man, no problems here...you doing okay?" he asked with even more concern in his voice.

"Yeah I'm okay, it must just be another symptom" I sheepishly answered. That really sucks too I was starving that that used to be my favorite restaurant. I thought. we continued talking to rest of our meal just catching up and reminiscing of our old high-school years.

As we prepared to leave the restaurant I couldn't help but noticed that John, smelled delicious. Like a perfectly cooked steak, with the perfect amount of rarity. I caught myself. "John...." I said. " yeah?" he answered. The hunger in my stomach was becoming too much to bear. the pain in my gut was telling me to devour him right there, my brain was telling me his flesh would render perfectly in my gullet. My heart was pounding to the thought of finally having a meal. I abruptly ran crashing through the doors onto the streets. I will not let my hunger force me to murder my friend. I had to rush home and post this. If anyone out there Has taken the Scheber Vaccine please.....what happens after the 3rd dose?