Hiding from the Darkness
For The Spooky Micro Challenge
There was only one rule: don't open the door. Most men are never tempted at all, even fools fear to tread in that terrifying darkness.
I know whereof I speak. There are some lands and peoples, some faraway realms where few dare to explore. The protagonist in this little tale never has even though his life may be lost without it.
Like a social outcast he hides at home, the forbidden door always lurking at the edges of thought, wraithlike, a constant reminder of what hides in the darkness behind it.
He plays his music loud or turns the TV volume as high as it will go, surrendering himself to noise, anything to avoid the ominous and constant presence of the portal to the damnation of his past.
He doesn't sleep much at night for in his dreams the barrier between him and the forbidden room tends to break down. And when that moment comes that he hears his father's heavy tread slowly pounding up the stairs, he awakens in a cold sweat, his sleep ended for yet another night.
But there is no more logic in hiding from the darkness within his heart than when he hid his head as a child under the bed covers and believed that it made him safe.
And so eventually the night came when he was too exhausted to waken from the dream, his father entering and backhanding him with his heavy ring before bending him over the bed and yanking his pants to the floor. He muffled his tears as he heard his father remove his own wide belt before lashing him with it, again and again and again. Finally awakening, he prayed to God, please don't let me be like him anymore.
There was only one rule: don't open the door.
About the Creator
John Cox
Twisted teller of mind bending tales. I never met a myth I didn't love or a subject that I couldn't twist out of joint. I have a little something for almost everyone here. Cept AI. Aint got none of that.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Alpha Mosquito
I start with a cracked window and a simple bath, leaving the warm water to sit longer than usual. A single mosquito emerges, small and inconsequential. Another appears soon after. They breed, proliferating the room over the weeks as I observe in fascination. I procur steroids and bulk fuel to add into the water. The next mosquito is slightly bigger. Their sentience grows alongside their size - I force them to fight to the death for nutrients, the biggest and smartest survive and continues their blood line. A Roman coliseum of these creatures' strongest gladiators.
By flutterfryyy3 days ago in Horror
Comments (20)
Ugh. Hard to read at the end. I guess he should have known he would get a harsh beating for not obeying.
Well, that was absolutely brutal in so many ways. I am disturbed and rightly so. Great writing though if it gives that response.
A brilliant story and a very unsettling self-portrait to match! Congratulations on the leaderboard, John!
I thought about doing one like this, but I'm glad I didnt now - great job.
Oh my gosh, is that a depiction of his father's face on the door? Haunted by his dreams and his thoughts, I love where you took this. My mind went where it wasn't suppose to on the last paragraph, but this was terrifying. I loved how you addressed us your reader, then took us down a dark slippery path rooted in reality but condemned only in thought. That we may insert ourselves and our own fears, a complete masterpiece. Well done John.
such a great writer
Man, this got my heart rate racing a bit. The weariness and pain swelled so powerfully as this progressed. Such a heartbreaking and horrific final two paragraphs. In agreement with Lamar about the repetition of the first line at the end, the echo was very effective
Well-wrought, John. The tragic unspooling of generational trauma, as some now call it, is nevertheless also the very essence of hope, where we choose to leave such things behind us and move forward to better and brighter futures. May your protagonist, at the least, find peace!
Oh this is awful in the best way 😔
Damn, this was very intense! You had my adrenaline going. Great writing despite the reality of trauma and abuse. Well done :)
Oh, wow, John, I sure didn't expect that ending, and like Cathy, suspected another. Always a pleasure to read what comes out of your mind. And I love the illustration!!! Great job, once again!
This was a gut-punch, inside-twisting submission. Good job John. This is the first time I have seen your name come up on Vocal. I’ll be watching for more stuff.
You so faithfully rendered the trauma of abuse and expected abuse, and how it rewires the brain to even embrace it, for the offspring to come. Bravo.
That was intense. I also thought you were going a different direction when the pants came down. The line that really got me was "please don't let me be like him anymore."
This was a rollercoaster of emotion, anxiety and a uniquely human take on this. Interestingly, I've been trying to think of ways to do a similar thing, though not quite the same, but that the thing behind the door is human and that's bad. Loved the cerebral side and psychological side to this too- very tastefully and sensitively handled with the door metaphor. Just, brilliant, sir, brilliant.
Not me thinking the father was gonna sexually assault him 😅😅 Loved your story!
That final line is full of emotion. it hits the reader with an impact that everyone has a decision to make
What an emotionally packed read. This is so well done and an excellent response to the given prompt.
The use of the opening line as the last line, packed a serious punch. Very effective. The choices are his alone to decipher and conquer. Excellent entry, my friend!!!
This is very moving.