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An Offer You Can't Refuse!

Part II: No Movement— No response.

By Maryam BatoolPublished about a year ago 4 min read

"43 Westburn Street it is", Liam muttered, brushing the dust off his pants while taking a look at the address on his phone.

‘You’re sure about this?’

Bill, the cab driver—and, once upon a time, his school bus driver—asked, his voice low and uneasy.

‘That place? It’s desolate... creepy. Even the stray dogs steer clear of it. Folks say it’s cursed or something...' advised old Bill while turning his head to the back seat.

The warehouse stood there as a forgotten relic between a worn-out eerie motel and a Walmart that was sealed due to its Unsafe foundation.

At least it looks better than my former employees... Now, whether It's haunted or not; it's the address they gave me.

"Don’t lose sleep over me, old man! Save that for your wife—she’s probably sharpening her nails right now to finish off the last few strands of hair on your head if you’re late again!" Liam chuckled sarcastically; as if he considered the words of old man Bill a joke.

Don't you dare tell me; I didn't warn you!

Old Bill turned the key in the ignition and raced his half-window-broken cab.

---- ----- ----- ----- -----

That is why I don't wanna look like an old man; ever! You just lecture everyone and race your car when you're mad.

I mean I already know that it's creepy... What does he want me to do? To pee my pants?

The only eerie flower in that desolate place drifted toward his feet. He scanned the area, but there wasn't a single living plant in sight, no sign of life anywhere. The flower was vibrant red, yet scary. Curiosity aroused, he reached down to pick it up, but as his fingers brushed its petals, a sharp sting pierced his skin. He stared in disbelief, for the flower had no visible thorns, yet his finger was bleeding.

"Holy Shit! What kind of flower was that" he said dramatically as he shook his hand to flick the drops of blood off his finger.

He reached out his pocket to get his phone.

[Slamming his phone on the other hand] No signals now? Woah! All these shitty elements are adding weight to what Uncle Bill said.

[Knock, Knock......] Is this The Vault office?

[Knock knock... But this time louder] Hello! Is anyone inside?

I mean, I didn’t expect anyone to actually work in this hellhole of a warehouse," he muttered under his breath. Was this a prank? A scam? Or am I the biggest idiot on the planet?

That interview lady; Her expression—the bold, almost mocking look—already screamed 'Don’t trust me.' She’d somehow made him feel like the biggest fool, sending me to this barren, rundown, eerie place for a project.

"Well, Mr. Liam," he thought, "turns out when your mom nicknamed you 'Dumbo,' she might’ve had a point."

He kept struggling with all the thoughts running through his mind as he stood next to the door, waiting for someone to answer from inside. The only thing near him was a wooden bench, which looked more like a toilet seat for crows.

There was no sign of any cab or vehicle at this hour of night. It was now about 10:32 — No sign of The Vault team...

.

.

---Silence and Darkness---

.

.

"Mr. Liam, you can come in", someone from inside said with the most haunting voice he had ever witnessed in his life. He for sure didn't want to go inside.

"No... No... No....... Don't make it freaking already! I hate it. Truck!"

Liam actually started shaking on hearing the terrific voice.

"Okay, Liam, you're born to scare and mock others. You’re not about to be terrified by the voice of some lunatic inside. Let’s go in and confront this guy who's playing games, making it seem like there's an evil spirit or something!" he muttered to himself, gathering his courage."

He pushed the door, and it creaked open—its squeaks the only sound breaking the eerie silence of the ruins.

"See, It's not that bad", Liam continued talking to himself; But inside he could feel the sweat of horror all over his body.

[He entered]

Hello, Now, stop playing this game, already! Huh, you scarecrow; you think you'd scam me and I'm useful to you? I'm already broke and for my body parts; you can't sell 'em. I'm a diseased person; diseases you don't even know the names of. Now, Come on. Stop playing around.

"I didn't wanna say this but seems like I have to", Liam said in a scoffing yet sacred tone.

If you are a man, then talk to me face-to-face. If you're a woman; well, forget it!" He, said it proudly; as if the mysterious man would rage up and appear by those words.

No Movement. No response.

He kept walking through the deadliest place he'd seen in his life. Suddenly, he felt the presence of a Door to his left; a red one. He turned his head and,

It cracked open: A corpse of a woman blasted out of the door, her body lifeless and contorted. It was none other than his ex-girlfriend, Lisa. Her vacant eyes locked with his, sending a chill through his bones.

Author's Note:

It's not over yet. It's the start.... Keep sticking for the Part III.

Ex-Girlfriend? Lisa!

Well, it doesn't end here... There's a lot more to uncover. The Vault? Who told Liam to Come in? That wild no-thorn flower—Are these all clues to some evil happening or is The Vault hiding something from Liam?

Stay connected and you'll get to know what happens in the next part.

You wouldn't wanna read it If you haven't read part one. You'll get to know Who Liam is and What is he doing here; check out part 1 written by Komal:

Part 1 :

Special thanks to Komal for collaborating with me. You should read her work, When I say you should; I'm telling the truth!

Next Part: PART III

Creator: Rowan Finley AKA Jesse Balogh

You'll be hooked part III, I'm sure!

Keep connected for PART III!

monsterfiction

About the Creator

Maryam Batool

I'm 17

I'm a storyteller who loves poems, fiction, and romance. Creativity is my constant companion. I take joy in turning thoughts into worlds. Writing is my way of exploring life and connecting with others

Ready to let my writing bloom!

Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

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  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

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    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  2. Easy to read and follow

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  4. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  5. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

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Comments (13)

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  • AJabout a year ago

    This is a really cool read!! I loved that you expanded on Liam’s personality and turned the tone from eerie, yet humorous to downright sinister by the end. You really know how to set a scene with your words too, it was very compelling to read!

  • Caitlin Charltonabout a year ago

    Liam's personality just keeps getting better and better, the dialogue in his head is gold here, this makes me so invested in him and his weird and creepy journey. He's so darn relatable. I like the imagery of that red flower, the fact that it didn't have visible thorns but had the effect it did, served as a wonderful foreshadow to what was to come. What came, I was absolutely not prepared for. Your story had me glued to my screen and oh my freaking days, why is his ex girlfriend a corpse?! 😳 I am lost for words. Outstanding work 👌🏾👏🏾🤗❤️

  • Raihana H.about a year ago

    This gave me the creeps when the dead body came into scene with that picture. Liam is sure desperate to venture into that warehouse like that. He knows it's a bad idea but does it any way😑 that's how you leave the earth early 🤣 I had a little hard time when reading because of those quotation lines, some missing which threw me off little bit... Let me know when part 3 comes out. Soo so curious!!! Good job!! 👍 This was a nice collab so far!

  • Karan w. about a year ago

    Ohh! Magnificent, you have wonderfully advanced the story; the eerie atmosphere is shocking, and the scary red flower, ohh! Lisa's corpse and she is his ex-girlfriend, amazing. And whose voice was that? What’s going to happen next? I’m looking forward to the next part to find out. You’ve done a fantastic job, the taxi driver bill part was quite amazing and also fun. Great work, sister! 🤟✨🤝👏

  • Sibghaabout a year ago

    Whoa, this just went from eerie to downright bone-chilling! 😨 The buildup was already intense, but the twist with Lisa's corpse appearing out of nowhere? Absolute nightmare fuel! The mix of suspense and dark humor with Liam’s inner dialogue really kept me on edge. Can't wait to see what happens next!

  • Tales by J.J.about a year ago

    This piece really grabs attention with its vivid description and suspenseful build-up. The mix of humour and eeriness keeps the reader engaged, wondering what will happen next.

  • Ali Sadeek Ahmedabout a year ago

    Beautiful and amazing story

  • Hoorain about a year ago

    Wow! I didn't know there was a part 1 so I just read part 2. But, it was worth reading <3 I loved your humor in horror...

  • Help, why did his mom nickname him Dumbo??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Also, what flower is that, so fascinating! Oooo, dead ex girlfriend huh, sweet! Can't wait for the next part!

  • Laura.the.writerabout a year ago

    What a spooky story!😲

  • Andrea Corwin about a year ago

    Great part 2 - waiting for the next!

  • Caroline Cravenabout a year ago

    A smashing follow up to part 1. Great stuff you two. Excellent!!

  • Komalabout a year ago

    Oh, Maryam, this is GOLD! The mix of Liam's sass, panic, and absolute Dumbo-level decisions had me hooked the whole time!😆 The eerie vibe, the creepy red flower, and that BAM twist with Lisa? Chef's kiss. 👌 The dialogue made it hilarious, and the horror just kept escalating perfectly. Honestly, this feels like the start of a horror-comedy masterpiece. You absolutely nailed it—can’t wait for the next part! 💀✨

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