A good person

"Grey. A disquieting amount of grey, as far as the eye can see.

That is, until, there is nothing; the grey plunges into darkness and in the darkness there is a sense of dread.

Its hard not to feel dispirited when all i can see is grey, all i can feel is cold and all i can hear is the distant sound of the rain, echoing through the cave i now stand in.

I feel like a deer caught in headlights. Im staring into the pitch black abyss before me, clutching the bronze locket firmly in my fist.

Its heart shaped and dented and belonged to my mother, she never left the house without it, she said she felt naked and not herself when it wasn't hanging from her beige neck. She was gone now. So were my father and my little sister. Where? I didnt know; but i felt the answers were ahead of me in the dark.

I spend some time staring, i cant comfort myself enough to move forward. My bones ache, im frozen stiff and my face is wet, with tears? Im not sure, but whatever it is is hot and persistent and frankly rather irritable.

Finally i start to limp into the depths of the cave, slowly but surely.

It had been a year since my life was turned upside down, i used to think those people protesting the government were crazy, pathetic punks protesting about fluoride in our water, about how they want to put chips on our brains and control us all; as it turns out i was blind.

A year to the day they had raided the streets, kicked down doors and told us we must conform, produce our arms for the trackers to be injected. We had ran; oh how we ran. Until we made it here, the cave.

We used to come here when i was little, dad would carry me on his shoulders and point out all the strange rock formations to me

"they're as old as the earth itself" he would say, and i would stare wide eyed and fascinated that something so beautiful and majestic could exist.

However a year has passed and i no longer believe in what is beautiful and majestic, i fear human nature; i fear myself.

The grey has disappeared and i feel a sense of relief for now i am in the blackness and no longer have to face what the past year has made me become.

I continue to tred onward and attempt not to focus on the hot liquid slithering its way down my face; it makes its way into my mouth. It tastes metallic and i gag. I shake my head

"im a good person" i whisper as i lick my lips.

I see a light in the distance;im almost there.

When we first escaped to the cave my father had stalked up on torches and batteries and embedded them into the rock with a drill. This was now our home. But they were gone; where?

"im a good person" i tell myself as i step into the light.

I look down, my hands are scarlet and damp, my face is covered in blood and ahead are my parents and my little sister.

The flesh stripped off their bones brutally.

Hunger can make you do brutal things.

"im a good person" i tell myself.