why the dark ages were the wrong time to be alive

The Dark Ages were a brutal period, marked by marauding knights, scholarly killers from Oxford, staggering homicide rates, Viking savagery, and impoverished peasants driven to madness, sometimes literally dancing to their deaths. In this harsh era, even hairdressers doubled as amateur surgeons, performing grisly amputations.

Life was tough, and to illustrate, let's delve into Medieval light entertainment. In 1194, on Shrove Tuesday in London, peasants gathered in droves for a raucous game of soccer, now known as mob football. William FitzStephen, a 12th-century monk, chronicled this wild event where large teams battled with little regard for rules. The game, starting in fields, soon spilled into the streets, resulting in injuries and deaths, despite the city's efforts to restrain the fervent players.

Sport in the Dark Ages, spanning the 5th to 15th centuries, was a violent affair. Peasants adored this chaotic soccer, much rougher than the elite's jousting. Using an inflated pig’s bladder, entire villages competed to drive the ball to the opposite side of town. Deaths were common, with chronicles noting fatalities from stones and daggers during the games. Such violence led to bans by English and French kings, who preferred peasants to practice archery for constant warfare.

Feudalism structured society, with the monarchy at the top and peasants at the bottom. Nobles owned the land, often granted to knights or vassals who pledged loyalty. Peasants, especially serfs, had minimal rights, tied to the land, and heavily taxed for life's milestones. They faced exploitation, with lords claiming their possessions upon death, described vividly as "vultures" by chroniclers.

In these times, mental health resources were non-existent. Today, we’re fortunate to have services like BetterHelp, the world's largest online therapy platform, which provides convenient and accessible mental health support.

Returning to the Dark Ages, serfs had to perform "boon work," maintain the lord's land, and fight in wars. This oppressive system, better than slavery but still harsh, prompted occasional rebellions for more rights. Diets were poor, primarily dark bread and gruel, sometimes contaminated with deadly fungi causing hallucinations and death. Mass hysteria, such as dancing manias where people danced to death, reflects the era's severe psychological stress.

Alcohol was a staple, with peasants consuming vast amounts of ale, sometimes safer than water. Men typically drank more, performing hard labor while women managed lighter tasks. Childbirth was perilous, causing high female mortality. Children, surviving infancy, began working early, with no formal education except what mothers taught. Literacy was rare among peasants, although nobles learned Latin and Old English, looking down on the peasant's language.

Nobles often hired mercenary knights to settle scores, resulting in massacres of peasants. Knights, far from honorable, acted like mafia thugs, robbing and killing for pay. Codes of chivalry were later introduced to curb their brutality. Chronicles recount knights attacking villages, enslaving children, and committing atrocities without remorse. One chilling account describes knights abducting nuns and throwing them overboard during a storm.

Knights, sometimes paid in land or resources, were at risk themselves, facing dangers from higher nobles and kings. The infamous Philip the Fair of France, for example, persecuted and tortured the Knights Templar, burning many at the stake.

Peasants also faced rampant disease. With no proper sewage systems, villages reeked, attracting rats and leading to the catastrophic Black Death, which decimated populations. In cities, rudimentary sewage systems helped, but plagues repeatedly struck, killing significant portions of the population.

Amidst this chaos, peasants were often summoned to fight in wars, poorly trained and ill-equipped, contributing to the rabble of medieval armies. Kings issued military summons to nobles, who then coerced their serfs into battle, sometimes offering rewards. Training a professional army became necessary, as evidenced in the Hundred Years’ War with France.

William the Conqueror’s Domesday Book facilitated taxation and military conscription by recording land ownership and populations. Small towns and villages dominated the landscape, with law and order maintained through systems like the tithing, where men pledged to uphold justice. Women, clergy, and freemen were exempt, while the nobility often operated above the law.

In this brutal era, survival was a daily struggle, marked by violence, disease, and the constant threat of war. Despite this, occasional resistance and resilience among peasants highlight their enduring spirit in the face of relentless adversity.

There were criminal trials in the early 1000s under King Cnut, but they were quite different from what we consider fair today. According to a law, "men of good repute" could clear their names simply by swearing an oath, like saying, “I swear to God, I didn’t cut off that man’s head and throw it to my pigs.” If others of good repute swore to his honesty, he was declared innocent. These people were called compurgators. If the accused couldn't get enough compurgators, they often faced a trial by ordeal.

One such ordeal was the ordeal by fire, where the accused had to hold a red-hot iron bar until their skin burned. The wounds were then bandaged, and if they healed after three days, the person was deemed innocent, supposedly saved by divine intervention. If the wounds were infected or blistered, the accused was often executed. Another was the ordeal by water: if the accused floated, they were guilty; if they sank, they were innocent but often drowned. A man named Ailward underwent this ordeal after being accused of theft and floated, leading to his brutal punishment.

Trial by combat offered a fighting chance, but in 1215, King Henry III deemed these ordeals outdated and introduced the jury system still used in England today. Executions were public and gruesome, intended to serve as a deterrent. For example, King John executed 32 Welsh boys by hanging them from Nottingham Castle walls. Even children as young as seven faced execution for minor crimes.

Despite the high crime rates, the number of executions was relatively low. For instance, in 1202, Lincoln had 114 murders but only two executions. Harsh punishments were common for theft, while murder often went unpunished if it was deemed a matter of honor. This period saw rampant violence, even over trivial disputes. In the 1340s, Oxford had a murder rate of 110 per 100,000, while today's rates in England and the USA are much lower.

The culture was violent, with many carrying knives everywhere, leading to frequent stabbings. Peasants used their own knives for eating, and table manners evolved to discourage such behavior. Social norms emphasized politeness to avoid violent conflicts, but honor-related killings were common. Nobles had a slightly better life expectancy but were also prone to violent deaths.

Hygiene and public behavior were poor by modern standards. People urinated and defecated in public, and shared beds often led to conflicts. Extreme violence over minor insults was common, and the murder rates in Europe were shockingly high.

The Peasants' Revolt of 1381 exemplified the period's brutality and social unrest. Peasants, fed up with taxes and poor living conditions, revolted against King Richard II. Despite initial promises, the revolt ended with the brutal suppression of the leaders. This rebellion marked a significant moment in European history, showing the peasants' willingness to fight for their rights.

The Dark Ages were marked by violence and a lack of justice. Health care was primitive, with treatments often more harmful than helpful. The Islamic world, during its Golden Age, was far more advanced in science and medicine compared to Western Europe. Peasants relied on herbal remedies, and severe illnesses often led to death. Mental health issues were attributed to the devil, and treatments included bloodletting and self-flagellation.

In conclusion, the Dark Ages were characterized by extreme violence, public executions, and primitive medical practices. The period's brutality, high murder rates, and lack of justice painted a grim picture of life in medieval Europe.