The Last Letters

April 5, 1945

Dear Mother,

When this letter is in your hands, I am no longer breathing the air you are breathing and seeing the moon you see. I wish I could see you one more time before I go, even just to say "good-bye." On rather good news, I will be much closer to you again as a spirit, even if you cannot see, touch, or talk to me.

Tomorrow, I am flying out of the Chiran airport with over 3oo pilots to target the U.S. Fifth Fleet stationed supporting the battle being waged on Okinawa. I am ready to do the worst to stop the enemy from landing our country and ruling our people. I gladly give my life for you, my little brother and sister, for the safety and happiness of the people I love, my country, and her sovereignty.

We will be victorious.

Mother, thank you so much for 18 years of your love and devotion. No one is more blessed than I am, being your son. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I had lived a whole and happy life. My only regret is that I cannot keep the promise I made. Please forgive me for not coming home to you with news of our nation's victory as I promised.

Last week, the cherry blossoms (sakura) were in full bloom around here. I know by now, our neighborhood is at its peak as well. Have you seen them yet? Did you decorate the tokonoma (alcove) with cherry blossoms as usual?

A couple of days ago, I and my battalion, all enjoyed our sakura viewings for the last time in this world. It reminded me of our family sakura viewing parties at night under the cherry blossoms by the river. They are the best and fondest memories of my 18 years of life.

I miss your onigiri (rice balls) and daikon pickles. I would do anything to get my hands on them!

Mother, there's no word to express my gratitude. Thank you for giving me a life. Thank you for everything. Please take good care of yourself. Forgive me for leaving you behind when I should be caring for you, Kento and Yuriko. Live a long happy life for me.

Long live the Emperor.

Army Second Lieutenant,

Takeru Yamamoto

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April 5, 1995

Dearest Takeru in heaven,

This will be my last letter to you. I am tired. I am ready to join you.

So much has changed after Showa Emperor has gone several years ago. Even before that, the world has changed in many ways as I had written to you.

We lost the war, but we all kept our head high and soldiered on. The bomb that destroyed Hiroshima was seen from the park along the river where we had sakura viewing party every year. I still dream about the huge mushroom bombing cloud we saw. It must have been so powerful to be seen from over 100 miles away. Today there is no reminder of the tragedy left except the Hiroshima Peace Memorial, where a preserved the Atomic Bomb Dome is.

I know you can see everything where you are, even before it happens. Do you know when I can be with you, Takeru?

I have being carrying your last letter with me for last few months. For a long time, I kept it with your father’s. Your brother has turned 60 this year and became a grandfather of a healthy boy, my great grandson. Kento named the baby after you because he thought the boy looked like you. I think so, too.

Yuriko is still living in America with her husband and a daughter who now attending the University of California. I hear that she is majoring in Japanese and planning to find a job in Japan after she graduates. Yuriko and her family comes to visit me every year for a couple of weeks. Her husband, Jimmy cannot speak Japanese very well, but he tries. I have been learning English, but my English is as bad as his Japanese! So imagine our conversations without Yuriko between us. hahaha.

Takeru, I am almost 90 years old now. I've seen so much and lived well. - as best as I could. Someone said to me once that “If we live well, we'll die well.” For some reason, that stuck with me, and I tried to live by it. I have no regrets except one.

Had I known what I know now, I would have never sent you to the war. I would have hidden you no matter what. Being ostracized and treated as unpatriotic is nothing like losing you. Nothing is more precious than life. Battles and wars are never solutions. They only create more conflicts and problems. No one wins. Violence begets violence.

Four months later, the atomic bomb was dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The bombs killed so many. So many lives were cut short. Those who suffered from the loss of loved ones and lived the rest of their lives in fear of the consequences of the extreme radiation exposure, not only for themselves but also for their future children. Still, none of us carries any hurt feelings against Americans. At least, no one I know does. They are anti-wars but not anti-Americans or any other nations. Nobody wants to send their children to the war. - No matter what.

Nobody has to die for the country or the Emperor. We know now that he doesn't want that, either. *We have a military, but they are only allowed to defend, not attack. Yes, they still have rigorous training in case of invasions or attacks of other nations. These days, they are also to assist in the rescue of natural disaster victims both domestically and internationally.

Well, I am getting tired. This may well be the last letter I write. Come get me tonight. I am ready. I wonder if you are still the same.

Do I recognize you now? I wonder...

---- Harue's request was granted on the night before her 90th birthday before she signed off her name. ----

Thank you for reading! These are fictional letters, but "Kamikaze tokkotai" are actual Japanese special attack units of suicide pilots. Most of them are between the ages of 16 to 20. They all wrote the last letter to their loved ones, mothers and their fiances, if they have one.

*Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution in the Constitution of Japan outlawing war as a means to settle international disputes involving the state. The Constitution was drafted following the surrender of Japan in World War II.