A Page in Romance.

"...Sir Ulrich of Stalzark; Sir ULRICH of STALZARK!"

The rugged and whiskered Sir Ulrich glanced about as the sunlight cascaded off of his freshly polished knight's armor. The sudden sound of his name prompted the respected knight to reach for his freshly engraved longsword.

"...Who speaks my name?" Ulrich demanded; then, glancing down to about his shoulder level. "Oh; it was you, was it not, Royal Page?"

"Kenton of Brintle." I amended.

The stalwart, worthy knight regarded the ghastly, impish palace page and, despite no real difference in their ages, he tousled my hair as though I were a child; or a dog.

"Yes, yes; quite brittle, aren't you?" the knight huffed, punching me "playfully" in the gut.

By now, a crowd had gathered just as naturally as onlookers flocked to the Knight of Stalzark. I, the Royal Page, in response, could only shudder at the undue comic attention.

"...Brintle, sir." I amended, meekly.

Meanwhile, the crowd had already burst into giggles at the exchange. Besides, I had come with an actual job to do as well.

"I bring word about Princess Jezak." I declared.

Ulrich, Champion of Stalzak, knelt to face a man his own age but 3/4 his height. Meanwhile, the sudden attention to news about Princess Jezak had caused ladies Hati, Ariel, and Storm to lose all interest in the conversation if the noble knight had lost his attention in them. I could continue.

"...You were the slayer of dragons, noble Knight." I declared.

Sir Ulrich righted himself in a start.

"My princess, Jezak, is a victim of a dragon?" he demanded. "Speak more!"

The mention of the dragon caused Ladies Hati, Ariel, and Storm to all gasp and cling to one another.

"...No; she has been imprisoned by the unfortunate pursuits of Prince Dar." I insisted.

Ulrich chuckled.

"...Prince Dar, the Dragon-Breath; almost as unsightly as...well, you...and with vinegar breath." Ulrich chortled.

At the physical comparison between myself and Dar, the Ladies giggled and pointed once more. Kenton didn't really blame them for the reaction.

"She's in Castle Delios's tallest, most treacherous tower." I finished.

Ulrich sheathed his sword and shield once more and swung a leg over his noble, beautiful, mighty steed.

"...Then I shall go to her!" Prince Ulrich, the Knight, declared. "You will ride alongside me and write sonnets of my bravery to share once we return?"

"Yes; share his heroic tales with us when you return!" Lady Hati declared.

"You will, won't you?" Ariel added with a spark in her eyes and a sultry tone to her voice.

Lady Storm nodded in anticipation as well.

The extra attention settled it for the Royal Page. Who was I to disappoint an audience; and a mostly female one at that? I mounted my miniscule mule and gave a nod that Prince Ulrich's mighty charger could take the lead. Henceforth, we were off on another adventure; the princely knight to win a beautiful princess's heart and the royal page to report back the tale of exaggerated heroics...

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The mismatched pair of hero and sidekick entered a nearby village when Prince Ulrich spied a local handmaiden at the well. As for the Palace Page, I had noticed the woman at the well for many days prior and my heart had always gone out to her. She was not only beautiful as the maidens who admired Prince Ulrich's antics but I admired the handmaiden as a kindred spirit to match. The princely knight saw the woman and marched his horse over to the well.

"Maiden, my animal and I thirst." he declared, unceremoniously.

By "animal," I hoped that Ulrich meant his horse; nevertheless, the consistent treatment of me made me wonder...

"...and it seems from his face that the Page Boy has an appetite for something too." Ulrich chortled.

Had it been me speaking, I would have never been so cavalier about my desires. My ears burned to hear the noble knight paint me so unceremoniously. Then, my eyes met the village maiden's. I had admired her many times; now that our gazes met, I saw fireworks of destiny.

"You are of the Royal Palace?" she gushed.

Naturally; she was a woman of quality and her eyes were for Sir Ulrich. My heart sank as Sir Ulrich obliged the young woman. I could see that the knight showed no interest in her and my heart sank even further on her behalf.

"Yes, yes; I am truly the legendary Ulrich of..." he began with little inflection in his voice for the maiden in question.

"...Ulrich Stalzark; your reputation precedes you, Prince." she answered.

She hadn't given her name yet. Sir Ulrich hadn't seemed to notice yet, beyond her acknowledgment of "his reputation (clearly, of courage, strength, charm, daring...)"

"...You." she persisted, looking straight to the Royal Page and Palace Bard. "I had seen you at this well before many times. Who are you?"

If my heart had sunk so far before, it was soaring now. Sir Ulrich heard the correction and regarded me as impressed.

"I am." I answered. "Kenton Brintle, Palace Page and Royal Bard and Scribe. And you are...?"

"Lady Nicca." she answered. "My father is a tailor and my mother..."

"...and you are a simple Well-Maiden!" another voice interjected (complete with the toxic breath of a mixture of rotten eggs and stale alcohol), "Nonetheless, my harem and I could use a servant girl!"

Nicca shrank back from the harsh words and stale odor of her breath. I saw little choice but to hold her soothingly away from danger. Sir Ulrich only saw the challenge in the form of Prince Dar and drew his blade.

"Foul breathed fiend!" Sir Ulrich bellowed. "You have captured Princess Jezak for this proposed harem!"

"...Oh; but she'll be my favorite of my women!" Prince Dar insisted, haughtily drawing his own weapon.

Nicca's defense was forgotten; at least by the noble hero. I took Nicca and quietly helped her over to my mule as to two royal rivals clashed.

"Let's get you home." I whispered to her, mounting the mule next.

"I know the way." she answered.

The two of us rode off as Sir Ulrich contended with the Prince Dar, the Poisonous-Breath. I had to get Miss Nicca to safety; and to reassure her that safety meant that my mule would carry her to her own homestead safe and sound...

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It was evening before I heard the familiar trot of Sir Ulrich's noble steed. Miss Nicca and I had been enjoying a warm fire in her family's fireplace as her father and mother thanked me famously for rescuing her that day. I could only acknowledge that Sir Ulrich had helpfully held off the enemy prince long enough for our getaway. However, Miss Nicca stopped me cold.

"...You are a bard and a scribe who has recorded enough tales of Sir Ulrich's mighty feats." she reported. "Today, you have saved me whilst Prince Ulrich would have been just as happy beating steel against Prince Dar despite my safety."

"Hear-Hear!" the tailor replied.

A knock at the door interrupted the humbling revelry over any success of mine. For a moment, Lady Nicca was fearful all over again that Prince Dar had found her. Her father, however, opened the door to reveal Sir Ulrich and (yes) Princess Jezak, alive and well. In all of an afternoon, Sir Ulrich had humbled Prince Dar, stormed his palace, breached the tower, and saved the princess again. I had promised Ladies Hati, Ariel, and Storm the recounts of his heroic escapades. I could tell them nothing if I had been away all of that time on my own adventure!

"Well, well!" Sir Ulrich boomed as Princess Jezak clung to him. "So here you have been!"

"Yes." I answered, rising to face the bold knight as Lady Nicca clung to my own arm. "Just as you have saved the princess, I rescued a maiden."

"The Well-Girl and the troll of a bard!" Princess Jezca declared with a giggle. "A precious pair!"

"Yes." Sir Ulrich added. "Mount your faithful mule, Page-Boy, and let's go home. You had promised the ladies of the kingdom a tale, did you not?"

I faced Lady Nicca painfully one final time. The arrival had been ill-timed and the mockery unwelcome. However, the royal couple had a point.

"I shall call upon you again someday." I vowed to the maiden; then, to the tailor, "To save your daughter this day was my distinctest honor."

Before I could leave officially, Lady Nicca pecked me on a cheek right before her father and with the Great Knight as a witness to the effect.

"Will we see each other one more time?" she asked.

"On my honor." I vowed in return.

With that, Sir Ulrich, Princess Jezca, and I returned to our kingdom. The knight had his princess back; and I had rescued a "peasant girl" who I viewed as a queen. What would the ladies say of my adventures this day...?